I ask that you turn with me to Ephesians 5 as we read from verse 22 through verse 4 of chapter 6 in connection with the text this morning, 1 Peter 3, verse 7. 1 Peter 3, verse 7. Ephesians chapter 5, beginning at verse 22 as we give our attention to the Holy Word of God. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with a promise, that it may go well with you, and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. And turning over to 1 Peter chapter 3, last week, you recall, we're talking about submission, Peter is, and we began to talk about the wife's submission to her husband. And today, with verse 7, we consider the husband's conduct toward his wife. The bulletin, if you have been looking, is wrong. I accidentally put verse 17, which interestingly says, it is better if it is God's will to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. It's not an intention to say that the husband suffers in his relationship with his wife. That was a mistake, an oversight. Anyway, I'd like to read, beginning at verse 1, just to once again be reminded of what we considered last week's Sunday evening in the first six verses with regard to the wives' submission and then working into the command for husbands. Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands, so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornments such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. In the text for this morning, Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Beloved congregation of our Lord Jesus Christ, I think it's safe to say that it's no secret that marriage, The marriage and family unit and relationship as God made it to be has been and continues to be under attack. It's basically being thrown out the window. Marriage is no longer a sacred union in the eyes of the world. At best, it's a matter of selfish convenience. If it's convenient for me, then I might get married. It's definitely not a giving relationship, giving of myself to the other, but it is a getting one. That's what it's turning into. If that person fits my needs and can give me what I want, then it might be worth my while to marry. At least for a while, anyway. It's not a lasting proposition anymore. There is nothing until death do us part about it anymore. Even worse is the fact that for so many, marriage is not even seen as an option any longer. In fact, in our day, men and women don't want to get married to each other. Instead, men want to marry men, and women want to marry women and children. Well, they are, at best, an inconvenience. It's a mess. And many feminists work hard to spread the message that women don't need men. Men aren't necessary. Men, we can get along just fine without you, thank you very much. And for years, men have joked. Women. You can't live with them. You can't live without them. Indeed, we are to be grateful for those organizations, those Christian organizations, that do try to preserve the family roles and cause us to continue to focus on the family as God intended it to be. And in the middle of this kind of a worldly, wicked attitude, God's people are called to know and to practice the truth about the God-ordained marriage and family relationship. How important is the Christian marriage? Beloved, it is the instrument that God uses to display the relationship between Jesus Christ and His body, the church. That's how important it is. An instrument to display that glorious relationship. He is the bridegroom and the church is his bride. And the husband's love toward his wife is to be a model of Christ's love for his bride. And this picture of Christ and his bride is to be seen by the eyes of a watching world as it is practiced in the Christian home. Once again, we consider the call to display Christian conduct in the home. And this time, Peter, of course, addresses the husband toward his wife. Again, last week, Sunday evening, we talked about the Christian conduct of the wife toward her husband. And as we look at what Peter says, on the surface, it looks like something's a little bit off balance here because he spends six verses speaking to wives and only one verse speaking to husbands. And then that's not because the ladies need more instruction. Not at all. In fact, men, before we get too comfortable, let me remind each one of us again that Peter explains, as we read in the first six verses again, he explains what the Christian wife's conduct of submission toward her husband is to be like. He reminds us of how her true beauty is to come from her heart and that she is to strive to be precious not, first of all, to her husband. But she is to strive to be precious, first of all, in the sight of God. That is her call. And then Peter, as it were, does an about-face and he turns toward Christian husbands and in very few words says, Now your call, husbands, your call is to make a home where she can do this. Where she can do what God calls her to do. You are to aid her in her obedience to the Lord by faithfully carrying out your call. The Christian husband is called to display Christian conduct toward his wife for the sake of her physical life, for the sake of her spiritual life, and for the sake of their prayer life. Peter says, Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner. Again, remember, Peter has been talking about submission in this section, chapter 2, and now in chapter 3, and although he doesn't specifically tell the husbands to submit to their wives, when he says husbands in the same way, he is saying that there is an element of submission of the husband toward his wife. He is to be submissive to her needs, especially her physical needs. Christian husbands are not to deal brutally, oppressively, and scornfully with their wives. They don't rule with an iron fist. Instead, they are to be considerate as they live with their wives, or as it's also translated, live with them in an understanding way. Understanding. Considerate. First of all, Peter commands husbands to live with their wives. We might say, well, that's a given, isn't it? But you see, he's not talking about just eating and sleeping in the house. He's talking about being there. We all know that it's busy today and we could be gone every night of the week, but Peter is saying that's not an option for the Christian husband. We are not to become overloaded with our hobbies and our extracurricular activities. Now, he's not saying that we are not to carry out the work of the church and the Christian school. Those things are to be done. But even those things must be tempered, must be moderated in a sense. But your wife and your children, you need to be with them and you should want to be with them as much as possible. They are your primary ministry in this life. And how can you lead your family if you're not there with them? And then when you are there, you must deal with your wife in an understanding or considerate way. Paul says, as we read in Ephesians 5, Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Christian husbands are to be loving leaders patterned after our Lord Jesus Christ who was a loving leader who incidentally did not rule with a scepter and a club and a throne. He ruled with a towel and a basin as a servant. And Christians are to be loving leaders who unselfishly give of themselves to their wives in the name of Jesus. And being a loving leader means that you understand your wife, that you are considerate of her, of her needs, of her feelings, her desires, her strengths, her weaknesses. We all know that a good leader looks for the talents and the abilities of those under his or her care and encourages those under their care to cultivate and use their strengths. And as a loving leader, the Christian husband is to do the same with his wife, his life partner. so that she might be encouraged to put her strength to work for the good of the family. But at the same time, you must understand that she is the weaker partner, as Peter says. Now, ladies, this is not a slam on you. This is not to be taken as a put-down or a degrading statement from Peter. Really, it's a beautiful thing. We know that God created men and women different, and in most situations the husband is bigger and stronger physically than his wife. This does not mean that the woman is morally or intellectually or spiritually weaker than the man. This does not mean that the woman is inferior to the man, not at all. Peter means weaker here in the physical sense, but also in the sense of fragile and delicate. And the word partner, also translated as vessel, is talking about the body. but in the sense of a jar or an instrument. Peter is saying that the Christian wife is a fragile, delicate, and precious vessel, like a beautiful vase that is a treasure. Ladies, he's saying something wonderful about you. Husbands, that's what your wives are, a precious treasure from God, an instrument of God to be used for the welfare of her husband and family, for the glory of God. Proverbs 31, verse 10 says, For her worth is far above jewels. The Christian wife's feminine qualities deserve the greater honor and tenderness as the weaker partner. And Christian husbands are commanded to live with them in an understanding, considerate way. You see, the danger can be that the wife is at a psychological or emotional disadvantage because of the physical size and strength of her husband. and the husband's attitude, if not considerate and understanding. His attitude mixed with his size and strength could very well be a threat to his wife to submit to me or else. And if that's the case with any of you, any of us as husbands, then instead of taking care of that precious vase, we are in danger of shattering it into a thousand pieces. And that's disobedience to the call of God. Christian husbands are not to handle their wives with bitter roughness, as Colossians 3.19 says. Instead, as the stronger partner, they are to shoulder more responsibility for the well-being of the marriage. And husbands, we can consider some very, very practical applications here. For example, you do the heavy physical part of what you consider to be her household work. Carry the overloaded laundry basket. If she wants to rearrange the furniture, you do it and let her engineer the project. Carry the vacuum cleaner up and down the stairs for her. Bring the groceries in from the car. Again, very simple, and you know as well as I do that there's a whole lot more involved than that. But very, very simply, the point is, as husbands, we should not want our wives to wear out. We must desire them to get old and gray with us, if the Lord wills, with as much physical comfort as we are able to give them. And I'm preaching to myself, more so than anyone else here. Beloved, the Christian wife cherishes kindness and consideration from her husband, and she ought to have it. But even more important than her physical life is her spiritual life. Now to be sure, the husband as the spiritual head of the marriage and home is to nurture his wife's spiritual life. But it's interesting what Peter says here. Here Peter calls him to display Christian conduct toward her because of the spiritual status that she already has. He says, treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life. Husbands, to truly love your wife means to respect and honor her. That means that you consider her to be precious and valuable, again, like that beautiful vase. Proverbs 18, verse 22 says, He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. She is worthy of your utmost respect. She is a partner to be loved, not an object of ownership. Some of you may have heard of the Christian psychologist Gary Smalley. And I remember seeing a video presentation once in which he was talking about the marriage and he was talking specifically about the husband's attitude toward his wife. And he explains that honoring your wife means that you are to be in awe of her. In awe of her. That when she walks into the room that your attention goes right to her. that it can't be helped, and your jaw drops with awe as you consider what God has given to you in her. And of course, no doubt that's how it was when you were dating, when you were courting, right? Those were the days when you simply couldn't get her off your mind. Those were the days when you would do anything for her, or even the little things that seem so silly. And I'm sure that's how it still is, right? Well, what happened? See, shouldn't this be more true as the years go by? As she grows in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ? In fact, that is why Peter commands husbands to honor their wives. because Christian wives are fellow heirs of the gracious gift of life. Jesus Christ died for the believing wife just as He died for the Christian husband. She too has a glorious position before God. Unfortunately for some people, this is a bit of a newsflash, but the Christian wife is just as saved as the Christian husband. Galatians 3, 27 and 28 says, For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek. There is neither slave nor free man. There is neither male nor female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. You see, that passage is talking about spiritual unity, not functional equality. Spiritual unity. She, too, is an heir with Christ, an adopted daughter of the Heavenly Father, which means she is a sister of the Lord Jesus Christ. And as an heir, she has been graciously given that gift of eternal life. And if the believing husband truly understands his wife's status in the eyes of God, if he understands that this is how God sees her, then he will never exploit her submissiveness. He will never demean her personality. Instead, he will understand that her soul is just as precious in God's sight as is his. And therefore, it is his God-given responsibility as the spiritual head of the home to do his job well in nurturing her soul. Christian husband, if you truly love your wife as Christ loves his church, then you will not abuse her physically, emotionally, or verbally. You will not put her down. You will not tell jokes about her behind her back or in her presence in front of others, for that matter. You will not tear her down. You will not take advantage of her in any way. Instead, as a loving leader, because of her status in the sight of God and because of your thankfulness to God for her salvation, you will do all that you can to serve her. You will seek to build her up in the faith and in her talents and abilities, and you will desire to care for her, to protect and to provide for her better than you would for yourself. Ephesians 5 says, He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it. You will seek to provide that haven of rest where she is encouraged and able to fulfill her call for submission to you. See, just as it is our Lord Jesus Christ's purpose to present his bride without spot or wrinkle, no blemishes one day, it is to be our desire and goal as husbands to return our wives to God one day in better shape, if you will, more faithful, if you will, than how He first gave them to us. No doubt many of us as husbands are feeling a little bit uneasy, swarming right now, because we begin to see just how far short we have fallen. But this is the good and the excellent behavior required of a Christian husband so that the world might see in our homes Christ's deep love for His bride as we demonstrate that deep love for our brides. If it's not there, then our relationship with God is in question. How you deal with your wife has a bearing on your prayer life. The text again, Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers. You see, a Christian husband's relationship with his wife is a picture of his relationship with the Lord. And that makes sense, doesn't it? Because husbands are commanded to love their wives, as we said, as Christ loves his church. But a husband can only do this if he is in Christ, right? If you don't belong to Jesus Christ, then you won't have any desire to give of yourself in the marriage relationship, but only to get? Peter is saying here that we can't expect to treat each other as marriage partners with disrespect and then expect God to respect our prayers. As in the first service, I'm going to say that again because that's a mouthful. It's a tongue twister as well. Peter is saying here that we cannot expect to treat each other as marriage partners with disrespect and then expect God to respect our prayers. A wife who does not properly submit and a husband who does not live with his wife in an understanding, considerate way and honor her as God's possession cannot possibly pray to God on behalf of and for the welfare of the other. That's not possible. Because if they are not striving to fulfill their God-given duties, that means that sin is in the way. Sin that promotes selfishness. And that must be dealt with first. See, Peter never talks about rights like we like to do. My rights. Peter doesn't talk about rights. He talks about responsibilities. And if our duties are carried out properly, then we never need to worry about rights. In fact, then we would care more about the other's rights than our own. Stability, serenity, and growing richness come when each partner is primarily concerned that his or her duties are faithfully, lovingly, and generously carried out in the name of Jesus. You see, beloved, marriage is not an end in itself, but it is intended to serve a more ultimate end, which is the fellowship of both partners with God, so that His glory may be realized. And selfishness in the marriage relationship will not only cut off the fellowship between husband and wife, but it will cut off the fellowship with God. The Christian home is not perfect, which no doubt each one of us can attest to, but the Christian home is one in which problems are worked out in prayer and obedience according to the light of the Word of God. Temper and tears and a heavy hand which says my way or no way are not the tools for ruling a home. But God rules and all must seek to discharge their duties according to what He says. Husbands, if you're not leading according to God's rules, then you cannot expect, you cannot expect your family to submit to you. That doesn't mean that wives and children are not yet to submit. That doesn't mean that wives and children are automatically exempt from their responsibilities before the face of God if the husband and father is being negligent. Not at all. Because all that we do remember is to be done as unto the Lord, first of all. And as well, we must understand that this rule goes beyond the marriage relationship. If we as God's people do not follow God's command that we read about in chapter 217 to show proper respect to everyone, to love the brotherhood of believers, to fear God and honor the King. If we do not follow that command, then our fellowship with God will also be in trouble. Congregation, the Christian husband and wife have a great calling, an awesome calling, and a great calling for Christian conduct toward each other in service to God. And it can only be accomplished as they fellowship together in prayer to God. This is a must. Because they have a life together with common needs while building a common home with common children to be brought up in the fear of the Lord. And therefore they have a common task for the building of God's kingdom. And I hope that many applications have already begun to flood your minds and become clear to you if you are a husband or a wife. God's Word is clear with regard to what He expects of you and from you. And the question is, how are you doing? If you're doing alright, then fall on your knees and praise and thank God for the work of His Spirit in your life and ask Him to continue that gracious work. If you're not doing alright, then also fall on your knees and confess your sins and ask Him to heal your weaknesses and your broken fellowship both with your spouse and with the Lord. And those of you who hope to marry one day, whether you are a young man or whether you are a young woman, it must be clear to you what kind of a God-fearing spouse you should desire and look for, both as we considered last week in the first six verses and this morning with this verse, chapter 7. Young women, you are to look for a young man whose relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ is his most important relationship. Because only then, only then can you be sure that you will have the highest possible standing in his heart. And only then can you be sure and confident that he will love you as Christ loves his church. I told a story in the earlier service that I may have told you before, but there was a gentleman back in Kalamazoo, he's gone to be with the Lord, he passed away of cancer, but he grew up in a Christian home, but in his testimony, he said he did not really become a believer until in his 30s. He went to church one evening, by himself, didn't want to go, but he went, and the Lord transformed his life that very night, and he came home and he was telling his wife about that, and he looked her in the eye and said, well, now now you have second place in my life. She didn't like that very well. She didn't like that very well until he explained to her that now, since God held first place, her status as second place was even higher than what her status as first place had been before. How beautiful. Young men, You, too, are called to look for a young woman the same way, whose heart is devoted to the Lord Jesus Christ, whose most important relationship is life, is her relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, because only then can you, too, be sure that you will have the highest standing possible in her heart. And you are called to look for one, as we said last week, for one who has the inner beauty of a godly woman with a gentle and a quiet spirit and everything that we said in connection with that last week. And of course, none of you can do this. None of us can do this alone. You must submit yourself to the Lord's leading, praying that the Holy Spirit will lead you to the right life partner if indeed there is one for you. Now of course, a text like this sometimes leaves others feeling left out, especially those who are not married. But none of God's people are left out. That's the beauty of the gospel of Jesus Christ. All of God's people are involved in a marriage relationship. As the church, the bride, we have the most faithful, loving bridegroom there is, even Jesus Christ. The church is to submit to His authority because He has already shouldered the greater responsibility for His weaker partner. He gave His life that she might have life abundantly. He delivered her from spiritual darkness into His marvelous light in order to dwell with her forever. And because she is the bride of Christ, her fellowship with God will never ever be cut off. All of God's people are a part of the most glorious marriage relationship there is. And as Christ's bride, we are called to submit heart, soul, mind, and strength before the eyes of a watching world. And this is our motivation for marriage and life. That is the tender, the loving, and complete care of Christ for His church. That's what gives us confidence, beloved, to walk before the eyes of a watching world day by day. To not be afraid to say, we belong. We belong to our faithful Savior, Jesus Christ, the most faithful bridegroom there could ever be. The bridegroom Jesus Christ is preparing a mansion for those who find their comfort and security in Him. Matthew Henry writes, as I know some of you most likely have heard before, he says, The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam, not made out of his head to rule over him, not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved. Because of the grace of God, the church is the beloved bride of Christ. He gave himself for her and he will protect her for all eternity. That's the perfect marriage relationship. That's a marriage, beloved, truly made in heaven. Amen. Shall we pray? Father, as we bow before You at the close of this sermon, we bow humbly, thanking You again for Your Word, through which You teach us, admonish us, challenge us, encourage us. Cause us to grow thereby the power of Your Holy Spirit in our knowledge and assurance of Your most holy Word. We pray that You would help each one of us in the roles to which You have called us, to be faithful in carrying out those roles. as unto the Lord, and that all is done unto the glory and honor of your most holy name. Hear our prayer, O Lord, for Jesus' sake and in his name alone. Amen.