Tonight we continue our consideration of 1 Peter. We've been talking about submission, as you recall, and Peter begins in the third chapter a discussion of wives and husbands. Tonight, considering the wives, and next time, the Lord willing, the husbands. And in connection with the text, 1 Peter 3, 1 through 6, I'd like to read together from Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31, the verses 10 through 31, the end of the chapter. The writer of Proverbs writes the beautiful words of the wife of noble character. Proverbs 31, beginning at verse 10, as we give our attention to the Word of God. A wife of noble character who can find. She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark. She provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it. Out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously. Her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand, she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle. with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household, for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed. She is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity She can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. In 1 Peter chapter 3, the first six verses. Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands, so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands like Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. That's our text. Just allow me, however, to read verse 7 regarding husbands. Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Beloved in the Lord, you know that Peter has been talking about submission as we have been considering. The good behavior that is expected of believers includes a life of submission. And he has moved as we have considered. He has moved from broadly speaking of submission to earthly governing authority instituted by God. to narrowing it down to the submission of slaves to their masters, and now he narrows it down even more to the home. Living as pilgrims among pagans affects the home. And therefore the Christian home must be the place where Christian attitudes and virtues and disciplines are expressed and cultivated and practiced in order to live out there in the world. The home, the Christian home, is the place of preparation, training, boot camp, if you will, where the communion of the saints is to be practiced. The Christian home is the place, or is to be the place, where marriage reflects the beautiful relationship between Christ and His bride. The place where sons are trained to be godly husbands and fathers, and where daughters are trained to be godly wives and mothers. Good or excellent behavior in a pagan world takes practice in the Christian home. It is to be the place of exemplary living, a model to the world. Unfortunately, I think we must confess, sometimes the actual practice yields worse behavior in the home than what we demonstrate to the world. Sometimes those we love the most get our worst. And how many of us would consent to having secret cameras placed throughout our houses, even for 24 hours, to let the whole world know what goes on? But those outside of the church should look at, or we might say should be able to look at, our Christian homes and our relationships as Christians, and with awe and amazement say, I want whatever it is they have. The Christian home is precious in God's sight. It is the church in miniature which God has formed. And therefore believers are called to display Christian conduct in the home. And Peter considers again, as we know, the wife in this text, the wife toward her husband. And again, husbands, before you're tempted to give your wife that elbow jab in the ribcage and tell her to listen up and take notice, our turn is coming. As again, Peter addresses the husbands in verse 7. And for those of you who are not married and think, well, this portion of the Word of God has nothing to say to you, know that it does for each and every one of us. And as we consider the Christian conduct in the home, the wife toward her husband, we notice the purpose of her submission, the picture of her submission, and finally the pattern of her submission. The text begins, the first two verses again, Now, it's no secret, I think, to any one of us that in the history of the world, women have indeed been oppressed. They've been looked down upon. They've been seen as inferior to men. Not good for much more than cleaning and keeping food on the table. And to give the man offspring, treated in many times and in many places as nothing more than a possession. The baby Israelite boys in Egypt were being killed in the days when Moses was born because they were a threat to overthrow the Egyptians. But the baby girls, they were kept because they would continue to make good slave labor. And unfortunately, this degrading attitude is still alive in some parts of the world today. Of course, we hear that in this country by some, don't we? that women are being oppressed with smaller salaries and less promotion opportunities, which may very well be the case, but that's not what we're talking about here. But this attitude is still alive in some parts of the country. I went to seminary with a gentleman of Dutch descent, and he was married to a woman from India whose father was an Indian minister. And it was their desire to go back and minister in India. And when he started seminary, they had two daughters. And while he was in seminary, the Lord blessed him with a third daughter. And I think now they have four, maybe five daughters. But when that third daughter was born, what did they receive from India? From family? Friends? Sympathy cards. Sympathy cards. Not cards of congratulations and praise. not prayers of praise as we have done for the Ball family with their fourth daughter. Sympathy cards. Because girls aren't wanted. They cost too much. The dowry, when you have to get them married off, is more than really a lifetime of income. They're just not worth it. Now what we need to understand in this text is that Peter is in no way talking about the status of men and women he is not saying that men as a class are higher than women as a class and and we'll see that more the lord willing when we discuss verse 7 but he also makes that same thing clear when he says wives in the same way be submissive to whom to all men no to your husbands the idea really to your own husbands as it is translated in some versions to your own husbands the wives Though the wife has a particular role, not to men in general, except as all believers, to show proper respect to everyone, as Peter said earlier. But her role is to her own husband. But even the husband and the wife are equal, aren't they? They share the same status in God's eyes as children of God, as believers. The difference is that they have been given different functions. Which goes back to creation. God ordained and instituted marriage between a man and a woman and the husband and wife relationship is to be the most intimate relation of love according to the ordinances of creation. To reflect Christ and His church, the bridegroom and His glorious bride. But the function of the woman, the Bible says, is to be the man's helpmeet. That means the wife supplements in the sense of compliments, not compliment, say nice things about him, as I speak about in pre-marriage counseling, but compliment with an E in the sense of completing him. Husbands are not complete without their wives. And the husband's function then is that he is the head of his wife. He cares for, provides for, and protects her. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11, verse 3, but I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of woman is man and the head of Christ is God. Now verse 1 begins again, Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands. Pointing to what he said before, this means in the same way or just as you, talking to all believers, are commanded to submit to every instituted authority, the governing authorities. Verse 13. And in the same way, or just as slaves are called to be submissive to their masters, verse 18. In the same way, you wives are called to be submissive. Peter is talking about authority here. Again, he's not talking about the superiority of one partner over the other, but he's talking about the God-given authority of the husband. And by submitting to her husband, the wife shows her respect for God's ordering. of the relationship between the husband and wife. And therefore, she submits as unto the Lord. To the Lord, first of all. Again, submission here, as we've seen before, means to willingly be subject to. To willingly put yourself under someone else. To willingly obey, and in this case, the wife to her husband. The command here is that the Christian's good behavior or conduct must be practiced at home. And again, 1 Peter calls on Christian wives. Also, he makes it clear that the situation where this is to be practiced might not always be so pleasant. But again, this is a part of the purpose. Going back to what he said before, Christians were commanded to submit to every authority instituted, every governing authority instituted by God in a situation where the king or the emperor was considered in the pagan world to be a god. Very difficult then to be submissive to those governing authorities, but that's the call. And the purpose was to silence the ignorance talk of foolish men. And then again he talked about Christian slaves who were commanded to be submissive to their harsh and wicked masters. Again, very difficult. But that was the command following the example of Christ and again for the purpose of flavoring their environments. And now Christian wives are commanded to submit to their husbands, even and especially in the worst case scenario, even if any of them do not believe the Word. Now Peter is speaking to a particular situation in his day, which we must understand. But we must also understand that what he says is very applicable to every age. We know that in the days of the early New Testament church, as the gospel spread, many were converted to Christianity, obviously. Not every one, but many. But not all husbands and wives were converted at the same time. And in some homes, not all of both partners were converted. And in that culture, the wife was expected to profess the religion of her husband. And therefore, if he adopted Christianity, she would be expected to profess that. But if she became a Christian, he would consider her unfaithful to him and his pagan religion. Now we need to back up for a minute and say too that Peter is not talking about believers getting married to unbelievers. That's considered by Paul elsewhere in Scripture. That's not the situation. But it's a situation where unbelievers married and then one of them became a Christian, in this case, possibly the wife. But now most of us cannot even imagine this kind of a situation. How was she to deal with this? Should she stay married to her unbelieving husband or should she divorce him? How should she respond to his hostility toward her new faith? How could she nurture her children in the Lord and get them to church from week to week? What should she do? and also we're not talking here Peter's not talking about an abusive relationship where the husband beat the wife or where the husband was unfaithful to the wife by adultery or something of that nature not at all the husband most likely very much loved his wife but he did not love her religion he had not come to the faith yet he was willing to live with her yet Peter makes it clear that as a Christian wife she is called to submit to her unbelieving husband even if he made things miserable for her on account of her Christian commitment. She is to yield to his role as given by God to be her head and the head of their home. She is to respect him and try to build him up in love. She is to follow in Christ's steps and to trace his example of patient suffering. Yes, for the believing wife, there was suffering involved with being married to an unbelieving husband? Why was she called to display this kind of Christian conduct in the home? So that, Peter says, they, that is unbelieving husbands, may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. Do you notice that? These wives were not called to preach to their husbands. They were not called to continually admonish and nag their husbands about their unbelief and their sinful lifestyle. They were not first called to word evangelism but to lifestyle evangelism so that the husbands might be one as they see the purity and the reverence of their wife's life. And what is translated here as reverence is literally in the Greek, in fear, once again pointing back to chapter 217 where it says to fear God as he sees her fear for God, as He witnesses that. Christian wives, along with all believers, have been graciously converted. Hearts transformed, given new hearts, and because of their love and fear and respect and reverence for God, they can and they must submit to and respect their husbands. Their behavior must be pure, the text says. That means chaste and unblameable and above reproach. They were not to give their husbands any reason to doubt their profession of faith. In fact, the very opposite. By their actions, they must prove their faith real. Sometimes we say actions speak louder than words. Or put your money where your mouth is. Or walk your talk. And by means of her godly, respectful attitude, a Christian wife could translate the gospel into a walk that might serve, that God might use to convict and win her husband to the Lord. The goal is that her husband might see in her the joy of Christ's saving work as she demonstrated Christ's gifts to her by giving herself to her husband in godly submission. In the worst of situations, her conduct might be used of God to bring her husband to the Lord. Her conduct was to testify that she belonged to the Lord. Again, most of us cannot even imagine this kind of a situation because we've been so blessed, raised in Christian homes, and the Lord has blessed us with godly mates. But there is still practical application here for us. For those of you who are wives and someday will be, you are reminded of your God-given responsibility for submission to your husbands. That doesn't mean you are their slave. Husbands, take note of that. It means that you give yourself and you spend yourself for the good of your husband and family to build him up, to care for him, and to do all that you can to promote his role as the head. To make it easy for him to be the head of you and of your home. It means that you use your God-given talents and abilities for the welfare of your family. Proverbs 31 describes what a Christian wife's godly submission is like, which is far from slave labor. Your husband and family, aside from your relationship to God, is your primary ministry. And when you fulfill the role God has given to you, You strengthen your husband in his role as your head. And at the same time, you teach your children proper respect for authority as they witness your walk with God. You submit as to the Lord. Husbands, you cannot make your wives submit to you. And there is absolutely no place in Scripture where husbands are commanded to demand that their wives submit. And I'm sure that if any of you have ever tried to command your wife to commit with the reason being because the Bible says so, I'm sure you didn't get very far. Scripture commands you and me as husbands to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. In essence, as the loving leader of your home, you are called to be the biggest servant to your household. That's going to get many of us in trouble, including myself, I know. But the Christian wife submits because she, first of all, is submissive to God. You see, beloved, all things point back to God. And when you love your wife as Scripture commands, then you too provide her with the proper environment and encouragement to willingly follow God's command for her. For those of you who are not wives, you must realize that submission to God involves the giving of yourself as well. If not to a husband in this life, then in this life to Christ's church in service to Him, the bridegroom. And we all, each and every one of us, have the responsibility given by God to live pure, unblameable lives for Jesus, to live our profession of faith because each and every one of us lives before the eyes of a watching world. And there is a certain picture they must see. In relation to Christian wives, Peter describes the picture of her submission in verses 3 and 4. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight. Interesting, isn't it, in the days of extreme makeovers and Botox and plastic surgery. But Peter seems to borrow from that old proverb which says beauty is only skin deep. And he describes the picture of the Christian wife's behavior in both a negative and a positive way. Negatively, he says, it's not what's on the outside that matters. And positively, he says, it's what's on the inside that counts. Now we also need to understand that Peter is not condemning or forbidding neatness and elegance in appearance. Scripture talks about the bride making herself beautiful for her husband. And this is not directly speaking to what are or aren't proper hairstyles and jewelry and clothing. But he is condemning vanity. He's condemning vanity, a preoccupation with these things as if life revolves around them. the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold jewelry, the putting on of fine clothes points to the painstaking care devoted to outward appearance. How many of you spend as much time in God's Word and on your knees in prayer as you do trying to make yourselves look what you think is best for the world? And of course, we could talk about that with many things. Hobbies, for example. Isn't that true? But hair and clothes and jewelry and makeup or tools used to make one look beautiful on the outside. But that's not true beauty, Peter says. That's not genuine. It's not real. It's imitation. It's artificial. It's fake. Those things are removable parts. It's what's on the inside that matters. Really, Proverbs 31 says nothing about outward adornment. When one is born again by the blood of Christ through the operation of the Spirit, then that one receives a true and a permanent heart makeover. Extreme makeover cannot give that. And those who have had an extreme makeover and say, oh, my life is changed forever, sooner or later, they must come down to reality and admit that the only thing that has really changed is their own perception of themselves when they look in the mirror. only those who are born again by the grace of God receive a true and a permanent heart makeover and that includes the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. That kind of spirit, that kind of disposition or we might say attitude in a Christian wife produces respectful submission for her husband and it seasons a marriage relationship by reflecting the character of the Lord Jesus Christ. And the opposite of a gentle, quiet spirit is a spirit that insults, is bitter, likes to argue, is prideful, and is filled with rebellion. Beloved, a wife's gentle, quiet spirit makes the home a haven of rest for her family. And a place where her husband looks forward to coming to at the end of the day to care for his family and as well a place where the love of Christ is found. A gentle, quiet spirit is imperishable because it is connected with the imperishable Spirit of Christ. We live in a world where manufacturers spend millions of dollars in advertisements. We see them every day and they spend this in advertisements to keep people dissatisfied with what they have or with what they look like so that they will go out, these same people will go out and buy new and improved products. Don't be fooled by those advertisements that tell you that you deserve what you don't need. But the inward beauty of a gentle, quiet spirit never goes out of style like clothing. It never fades like jewelry. And it never needs redoing like the hair. And the beauty here is that this is of great worth in God's sight. This inner beauty pleases God. It is in harmony with Him and His will. And only when that is true can a woman be subject in the fear of God to her husband because an untransformed spirit is at enmity with another. It's not what's on the outside that pleases God, although what's on the outside may very much displease God. Remember what Samuel said to Jesse, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. Sometimes we are so busy trying to adorn ourselves in order to turn the eyes of men, but Peter commands inward adorning that turns the eyes of God. Real beauty comes from a transformed heart. Sometimes we say, if you want to know what someone is really like, look to see where their heart leads them. But then what does this have to do with our outward appearance? Because Peter touches on that. Very simply, the outward appearance of a Christian must be in harmony with the inward spirit. If not, you're a hypocrite. What is invisible on the inside must be made visible on the outside. And that means that you dress to please God. Reverently. Modestly. Respectfully. At all times. Even for worship. When you prepare to come to the house of God, you should desire to give of Him your best. That's the requirement when we go see an earthly dignitary, isn't it? The inward beauty. Being a part of the bride of Christ is also to be reflected outwardly. Peter is saying that the Christian wife's outward adornment, and this goes for all of us, really, the outward adornment must not be determined by the latest fashion, but by the cross of Jesus Christ. If you really dress in the shade of the cross on which Christ bore your sins, the cross on which Christ made a permanent covering for your sins, then you will certainly have the correct spiritual attitude in your outward appearance. Proverbs 11, verse 22 talks about outward beauty without inward beauty. It says, as a ring of gold in a swine's snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion. Not much of a compliment, is it? Men, it's one thing to admire the outward beauty of a woman as God's creation, not in a lustful, sinful way, but to simply admire the outward beauty of a woman as God's creation. But remember, beauty is only skin deep, and it fades in spite of attempts to stay young-looking. And young men, as you look for a helpmate in this life, look for the inner beauty of a godly woman. If she doesn't have that, if there is no inner beauty, then she's not the wife for you. Outward beauty lasts only for a short time, but godliness will last to eternity and its beauty will be reflected one's whole life. Women and young ladies. Don't waste your time trying to please men. Being consumed with what the world says is important. Don't try to give men, young men, old men, what their lustful desires want. Give them what they need. Seek to cultivate godliness in your life. Look to the example of Jesus Christ and in His strength. Seek to beautify your inner self with a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious and valuable in the sight of God. And never forget what Proverbs 31.30 says, Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Finally, very quickly, to prove that what he says is valid, Peter draws the pattern for her submission from the very pages of Scripture, verses 5 and 6. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands like Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Now women, this is one tradition that is scriptural and is to be followed. The women of old put their hope in God which demonstrated true holiness. These women headed by Sarah, Abraham's wife, obeyed the voice of God and submitted to their husbands and adorned themselves with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit. They showed reverence and respect for their husbands because they loved and feared God. And how many times don't we read as well that the patriarchs, they loved their wives, Abraham, Isaac, and so forth. While Abraham is considered the father of believers, Sarah, we might say, is the mother of all who obey. And when you obey God, no matter what kind of reproach or persecution comes at you, you have no reason to be afraid. And it very well might come, persecution might come, if you follow what Peter says here. The feminism of our day would scoff at this text. They would laugh at and persecute those of you Christian wives and women who seek to follow God's command recorded here. And also the women of the world today have a low opinion of men. And I'm not saying that the men of the world don't deserve that. Maybe they do. But the call for us today is to display the excellent behavior of Christian conduct to the world. And that is practiced in the home as Christian wives display their excellent behavior by fulfilling their God-given role of submission to their husbands. This is a high calling. Husbands, when your wife submits to you in love, she does that because she loves the Lord. And it is your responsibility and my responsibility to provide her with a haven of protection where she too can be obedient to God. Remember what Proverbs 18.22 says, He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. And for all of us, we must cultivate and display the unfading beauty of the gentle and quiet spirit of our Lord Jesus Christ. Others must see Jesus in His people. We are the tools that God often uses to speak to the world, to witness of His saving grace and mercy. Christians are to be seen. And the Christian family is to provide a beautiful snapshot of the church, of the family of God. And good behavior is displayed as we fulfill by God's grace the roles that God has given to each one of us in the family, whether as husbands or wives, as sons or daughters, as singles in the context of the larger family of God, the church. Beloved, this comes down to the question of obedience. Obedience and submission to God with regard to the roles that God has given to us as unto the Lord. But of course, we know this is only possible if you belong to the Lord Jesus Christ. If you have new life in Him, for those who don't belong to Jesus Christ, all is vanity. And one day, when the outward decorations of this life are over, and when the mask is removed, He will say, I never knew you. But the beauty today is that today is still the day of salvation. And the call goes forth to you, if this describes you, to repent of your sins and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ because there is a beauty awaiting you, an unimaginable beauty of Christ, which is eternal, which is then to be demonstrated before the eyes of a watching world. Only when you walk with the Master by His grace will your inner beauty be seen and will it point others to God. Amen. Shall we pray? Father, we must confess that so often as we consider Your Word, it hits us so directly at home. Sometimes it's scary. But we thank You, Father, for Your leading and guiding, for Your direction in our lives, showing us, O Lord, that for those who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, those who have the assurance of that precious gift of salvation that you call us to be something. You call us to be those who live for you visibly before the eyes of a watching world. In the privacy of our homes and in public as well. Father, strengthen each and every one of us in our roles, the roles in which you have placed each one of us. May we do so willingly. May we do so faithfully by the power of your Spirit May we do so joyfully so that you may be praised. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.