I invite you to turn this morning to Paul's letter to the Ephesians, picking up at chapter 6, Ephesians chapter 6. The underlying theme for our text is established already in chapter 5, verses 15 to 21, where we hear God's call to live a life of prudence. A life marked by obedience to the revealed will of God and controlled by the Holy Spirit. And in the verses that follow, this theme is applied to the fundamental relationships in the Christian household. The relationship between wives and husbands, children and parents, as well as servants and masters. God's word to children and parents is not his good advice for how to get our homes back to the days of Ozzie and Harriet and leave at the Beaver. Those days not only no longer are, they never were. They're romantic fables that deny the sinfulness of both children and parents who the Holy Spirit must regenerate before either can hear, listen, and do what God demands of them to do. So according to this letter in chapter 4, verse 17, God requires that we are to no longer live as the Gentiles do in the futility of their thinking. Rather, according to chapter 5, verse 1, we are to be imitators of God as dearly loved children. So this morning we take up in chapter 6, verses 1 through 4, a message that began on Sunday evening, April 4th. This text is God's call for Christian families to be living in covenant continuity. So please make a change to your printed outline. Having covered point 1 last time, you will need to move point 2 up. For the sake of those who may not have been here, I will briefly review point 1 before getting into the main text for today. We will read beginning in chapter 5, verses 15 through 21 to set the context and then pick up at chapter 6, verse 1 through 4. Hear God's Word. Be very careful then how you live, not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. And our text for today. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with the promise that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Here ends the reading of God's Word. Last time in considering verses 1 through 3 we saw how living in covenant continuity requires covenant children to be obedient to our parents. The obedience of children to their father and mother in Christian households is to flow from a heart that honors them. Children, until you leave the care of your parents, no matter your age, no matter how old you get to be, you are to listen to them and do what they ask you to do. as unto the Lord. And you are to do this for two reasons, according to verses 1 through 3. First, because God has declared that it's a right thing for you to do. And secondly, because God has promised that it is a good thing to do. You are to honor your father and your mother so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. And it is by this promise that we saw that God's command is not simply that Christian children would be well-behaved. Something even unbelieving children can do. The promise is not a guarantee that every individual and well-behaved Christian will live long and prosper. But it is a guarantee to the covenant people of God as a whole, to the church of Jesus Christ, that she will endure and prosper in the Lord all her days, From generation to generation. As important as obedience to parents is to the individual family, it is of first importance to the covenant people of God as a whole. It is the primary way in which the covenant people of God continue from one generation to the next. And unless each generation of covenant children obeys its parents in the Lord, It will end up wandering and perishing in the wilderness of this world, cut off from His promised life in Christ. Now, this is not to say that the Holy Spirit does not continue to regenerate saints from the children of unbelieving parents. He does, and praise God for it. But it is to say that first-generation Christians ought not be, as a rule, last-generation Christians. Should Christians be blessed with children, they are called to join with the church of all ages in living in covenant continuity. And so this morning we turn our attention to verse 4 of our text where we find that this call involves bringing up our children. We must consider this under two sub-points. First and briefly, who is responsible? Who is responsible and secondly, what is required? Paul begins verse 4 by addressing who is responsible for bringing up our children. Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Fathers. Why does Paul address fathers when he just finished telling children to obey their parents, both mom and dad? Well, some have argued that fathers in general have a greater need to hear and to heed this word of God on this particular point. And it's argued that compared to women, men are often less aware and careful in relationships, more aggressive and impatient, and generally less involved with their children. Therefore, it's argued that in verse 4, Paul shifts his attention away from mothers and talks just to fathers about a particular weakness. But even though some of these observations about men are too often true, we ought not believe that for a moment that mothers are somehow exempt from this. Paul addresses fathers not for a psychological reason, not for a sociological reason, not for a genetic reason, but for a covenantal reason. In the covenant of marriage, as we discussed in chapter 5, God joins one man and one woman together as one flesh. And he joins them in marriage. In this one flesh, the man is the head, the wife is the body. And together, they bear responsibility for and they exercise authority over the children of that union, whether by birth or adoption. But they don't hold this authority. They don't hold this responsibility equally. As the head, the man's responsibility and authority are primary. Man, you are the head. But even so, you're not only free, but you would in fact be wise to follow our Heavenly Father's example and delegate some authority and delegate some responsibility in the bringing up of your children. And it should go without saying that you ought first to delegate to your own body, to your wife. And together you should turn to the body of Christ. Your children ought to be marked out from the world by the sign and the seal of baptism. And at their baptism you were or you will be asked to promise to teach them and to have them taught in the faith. You should bring them to worship so they can hear God's word and learn how to worship Him. And it's in this place amongst the body of Christ that the members who've been gifted to help you are here. Many stand ready to help you bring up your children. Sunday school teachers, catechists, Christian teachers, cadet leaders, gem leaders, young people's leaders. I could go on and on. We have a large body and every member has something to contribute and some for your children. What rich resources God has provided to us as fathers to help us meet our responsibilities to our covenant children. But as Paul reminds us here, no matter how much or how little we delegate, the buck stops with us. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. And in the rest of verse 4, Paul specifies what's required in bringing up our children. In verse 4, Paul applies what he taught us in chapter 4, that it's not enough to put off the old self of the fallen nature we're conceived and born with. We must also put on the new self that we've become in Christ. Therefore, Paul begins here by telling us what we're to put off. Do not exasperate your children. This verse as well as Colossians chapter 3 verse 21 is translated one of three ways. Do not exasperate, do not embitter, and perhaps most helpful, do not provoke your children to anger. We all know what it is to be provoked. When your friend pokes you in the chest and says, I dare you, he's provoked you. When your employee knowingly breaks company policy right in front of you, she's provoked you. and when your child throws a temper tantrum in the grocery store when your card is full and so are both hands he's provoked you and your dander gets up and in your anger you are all too ready to sin parents we are not to do this to our children we are not to set them up to be ready to strike back this is a very serious warning In fact, it calls to mind what Jesus said to His disciples in Luke chapter 17. Things that cause people to sin are bound to come. But woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves. Do not exasperate your children. Then Paul continues with what parents and fathers in particular are to put on instead. Bring them up. In a word, nurture them. And perhaps you know what it means to be nurtured. When your employer lets you suffer the consequences of a bad decision, but he keeps you on and he shows you how to avoid it in the future, he's nurtured you. When your mother sets the shopping cart aside, Takes you out to the car, puts you over her knee for your temper tantrum. She's nurtured you. And when your friend calls you to account for sinning against him, and you confess and he forgives you, he has nurtured you. Nurture to cause us to grow, to become stronger. In Isaiah chapter 5, the prophet sings a song about the loving nurture of the Lord for his people. He says, my loved one, that's the Lord, my loved one had a vineyard on a fertile hillside. He dug it up and cleared it of stones and planted it with the choicest vines. He built a watchtower in it and cut out a winepress as well. The Lord himself says, what more could I have done for my vineyard than I have already done? And of course, the answer is nothing. He has done everything. He's done everything to produce a crop of righteousness that could be done. Like a vine dresser who tenderly cares for his vineyard, the Lord fed Israel. He protected her and He pruned her for a crop. In the same way, we are to tenderly care for our children, body and soul, feeding them what causes them to grow and protecting them from those things that cause them harm, including the poison of provocation and directing their growth by pruning when necessary. We see in the final words of verse 4 that the tender nurture of our children is not to be without some firmness. It involves training and discipline. Training and instruction. sometimes translated discipline and instruction, training and admonition. The first word there, translated training, refers primarily to what is done to our children, what we do to them. Training is given by enforcing the rules with rewards or with reprimands. The nurture of our children is to include training by way of discipline. The Lord disciplines His children by rewarding them for doing what is right in his eyes. For example, the Lord says in Proverbs 19, verse 17, He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and He will reward him for what he has done. Our grateful obedience to our God brings the reward of God. Not because He has bribed us, not because He's manipulated us into obedience, not because we deserve it, but because He has given us grateful hearts that enable us to do His will out of true faith according to His rules and to His glory. Our motives are right. Our purpose is right. Our means are right. And in the same way, we are to discipline our children by rewarding them for doing what's right. Not because we bribe them. Not because we manipulate them. Not because we threaten them. But because they have honored us with their obedience. On the other hand, the Lord disciplines His children by reprimanding them. In Job chapter 5, verse 17, Eliphaz rightly says, Blessed is the man whom God corrects. So do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he also binds up. He injures, but his hands also heal. God punishes the wicked under everlasting destruction. But He reprimands His children in order to sanctify them, to conform them to the image of His Son. And in the same way, we are to discipline our children by reprimanding them for doing wrong. Proverbs 29, verse 15 reminds us, The rod of correction imparts wisdom, But a child left to himself disgraces his mother. And indeed, it is true that no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful, as the author of Hebrews says in chapter 12. But later on, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Fathers, parents, we are to nurture our children with discipline. rewarding and reprimanding. Not out of punishment, but to nurture. But our nurture may not consist only in physical discipline. It is also to include instruction. The word translated instruction refers primarily to what is said to a child to inform their mind. God has revealed Himself and His works in His Word in order to instruct us. In 1 Corinthians chapter 10, Paul reminds the saints of Israel's rebellion in the wilderness during the Exodus. And there he says in verse 11, These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings, as instructions for us. Whenever we hear the Word of God preached or we read it on our own, We receive God's instruction. Encouraging us with His promises. Warning us against dangers and correcting us when we sin. Our text today is God's word of instruction to parents in particular and to fathers specifically. Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. And in the same way, we are to instruct our children with words. Words of encouragement when they do right. Words of warning when they're headed for trouble. Words of correction when they've done wrong. And what better words can we speak to our children but the Word of God? What better words can we impress upon them? What better words can we speak to them when we sit at home and when we drive along the road, when we are at rest, and when we are at work. What better words can we live by and impress upon them, not only from our mouths, but in the actions that we live that speak a thousand words as we adhere to God's Word for us. And finally, Paul says, the discipline and instruction of our children is to be of the Lord. It is to be covenantal discipline, covenantal instruction, nurturing our children to live in covenant continuity. Embracing the faith instead of provoking them to cut themselves off from the people of God. We provoke our children when we as husband and wife disregard God's design for marriage so that we are disordered and quarreling to not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in a home where dad loves mom as Christ loves the church and where mom submits to dad as the church submits to Christ. We provoke our children when we are inconsistent in our discipline and instruction. Showing favoritism, holding our children to different standards or failing to hold them accountable at all. Do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up with a discipline that gives them a right understanding of God's discipline. The Lord promises His people in Jeremiah chapter 30, I will discipline you, but only with justice. I will not let you go entirely unpunished. We provoke our children when out of frustration or anger. We harp at them, berate them, mock them, belittle them, ridicule them, or compare them to others, beating them down with our words, if not with our hands. Do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up, heeding the wisdom of James chapter 1, being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God requires. We provoke our children as they mature with a straitjacket we call protection. That keeps them from learning wisdom by testing and approving what God's will is through trial and error as they apply the Word of God to new circumstances in their life. Do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up by giving them opportunity to show themselves faithful by fulfilling age-appropriate responsibilities in a way that demonstrates wisdom. And each step of the way, like our Lord Jesus Christ, we can say, well done. You've been faithful with a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. But more than anything else, we provoke our children when God in His grace shows us how we have sinned against them. Whether from the word of God or from the word of a friend or from the word of our child. And we will not confess it to God or to our child. We'll not ask for their forgiveness even if we change our ways. Do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up by showing them that you do believe the promise of 1 John 1.9, that if we confess our sins, He's faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. This letter is to Christians. Our text is to Christian families. And verse 4 is to Christian parents by way of the fathers, the covenant heads, And it is to fathers who know their own sin, who trust in the Lord Jesus Christ alone to save them from their sin and in whom the Holy Spirit is working not only to want to, but to be able to heed this word today. Fathers, we are responsible to nurture our children in the training and the instruction of the Lord. Our authority comes from Christ, our head. And it is to be exercised in obedience to His Word. And the purpose of our nurture is covenant continuity. It's not to raise up a generation of perfect children. It's to raise up a generation of covenant children who will be made perfect by another. Children who will come to know their own sin. Who will know the Lord Jesus Christ as their own Savior. And who will desire to thank Him through their own life. of obedience. Our purpose is to have our children come to know God in Christ and for them to be made perfect by the Holy Spirit. Jesus says to us today, let the children come to me and do not hinder them. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we are so thankful that You have revealed Yourself to us that we might know what a Father is. That we might know Your perfect faithfulness, Your perfect wisdom, Your perfect justice, Your perfect discipline and instruction. Apart from the work of Christ, we would not know You, but we do. And You've called us to imitate You. So, Father, help us as fathers and our one flesh, our wives as mothers. That we would indeed follow your example. That we would not exasperate our children, but that we would nurture them in the training and the instruction of the Lord. That we would be used of you in this generation to pass on the gospel of Jesus Christ, the wonders you have wrought, to them as it has been brought down to many of us. We pray Father that you would continue to keep us faithful in our charge of our duties as fathers and as children. That indeed the covenant community would continue in this place generation after generation until the Lord would come to take us all home. This is our prayer Father for the sake of Christ our Lord in whose name we pray. Amen. Thank you.