I'd have you turn in your Bibles this evening to the letter of Paul to the Ephesians, chapter 5. Chapter 5, that's on page 1136 in most of the Pew Bibles. 1136. Ephesians chapter 5. We'll be focusing on the first part of chapter 6, and our text there tonight is part of a larger section that began in chapter 5. Paul's final installment on what it is to characterize the Christian life, the life we are told in chapter 4, verse 1, is to be worthy of the calling we have received. Paul began this section in chapter 5, verses 15 to 21, by calling us as saints to live a life of prudence, a life marked by obedience to the revealed will of God in His Word and controlled by the Holy Spirit. And the Spirit-filled life finds expression in many ways, the last of which Paul mentions in verse 21, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. And then beginning in verse 22 and continuing through verse 9 of chapter 6, the Apostle addresses how this mutual submission is worked out within the God-ordained order of Christian households. And tonight we turn our attention to chapter 6, verses 1 through 4, The second of these household codes in which the Apostle addresses the relationship between children and parents. Now before we read this text, we need to understand something about the families to which Paul was writing. In the Gentile families of the Greek and Roman world, the father held almost absolute authority. He had the right to determine whether a newborn baby could live or should die. He could sell his children into slavery. He could punish them as harshly as he liked, work them as hard as he wished, or have them put to death. And even if children managed to grow up and move away from home, his authority over them continued until he was too old to enforce it anymore. And this is all that the children and the parents in Ephesus had ever known. It was passed on from generation to generation. But now, Paul told them in chapter 4, verse 17, because they had heard and believed the gospel of Jesus Christ, they were no longer to live as the Gentiles live, in the futility of their thinking. They need to change their ways. Now, there may be some here this evening that grew up or are growing up in households that might have some similarities with the Ephesians, where obedience is given out of fear. and perhaps for self-preservation, or where a patriarch or a matriarch rules over not only their own children, but their children's children. There may be others here who grow up or are growing up in households where parents, particularly fathers, exercise no authority. Many fathers today are absent without leave in their own homes. Some have given way to our culture that promotes rebellion in our children, and considers all authority as abuse. Some have given up their authority to the wives that have wrestled it from them. And still others fail to pick it up even though their wives pray for it every day. If any of these are true for you, then along with the saints in Ephesus, you are called to put off your old ways and to put on the new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. instead of imitating your parents, you are to imitate God as His dearly loved children. And if by God's grace, your parents brought you up or are bringing you up in the way set before us tonight in this text, then thank God. Thank Him even as you attend to His instruction tonight so that you may pass on to your children God's ways and to your children's children as well. Our text tonight is God's call for His children to be living in covenant continuity. A call that requires us to be obedient to our parents and prescribes a way for us to bring up our children. And before we dive into the text, there's two notes that you need to make. First, that as much as I would like to cover this entire text with you tonight, I can't do it in less than an hour. And out of forbearance to you, I will deal with the first point only. So under that first point, we'll deal with two sub-points. First of all, what it means to obey. What it means to obey. And second, what motivates obedience. What motivates obedience. And the second side note that we can learn from this text, it's not the main focus of the text, but I don't want us to miss it. And that is, in this text tonight, God speaks directly to children. To children who are participants in the corporate worship of God's people, where this letter is read. Through the sacrament of baptism, our covenant children receive a sign that marks them off from the world and joins them to the visible church. And they're not only welcome, but they're encouraged to be participating in corporate worship as soon as they're able to listen. And to participate. It's a wonderful confirmation of our practice here in this place that our children do join us in covenant worship. With that, let's turn our attention to God's Word this evening. Ephesians chapter 5, verses 15 to 21 for the context. Reminding us of what this is flowing out of. And then we'll drop down to verse 1 of chapter 6 for our text this evening. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 15. Attend to the Word of God. be very careful then how you live not as unwise but as wise making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil therefore do not be foolish but understand what the Lord's will is do not get drunk on wine which leads to debauchery instead be filled with the spirit speak to one another with psalms hymns and spiritual songs sing and make music in your heart to the Lord always giving thanks to God the Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with the promise that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Here ends the reading of God's Word. Paul begins in verse 1 of chapter 6 with this command. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. And the word for children here is a very general term. In fact, it applies to everyone here tonight, for we are all children of our parents. But in light of the fact that other scriptures instruct us to the change of this relationship when our children get married, I believe the focus of this text is on those children who are still dependent on their parents in their household. No matter how young they are or how old you are, Young people, young adults. If you're living in the home of your parents or your grandparents or you're living outside the home and you're still dependent upon them, then this command is most directly to you. Let's begin by considering what it means to obey. What is God commanding of you? At its simplest, it means this. Listen and do. Listen and do. When mom says to you, don't touch, you listen and you don't touch. You don't need to know that that stove is hot until after you've obeyed. When dad says to you, stop, you stop. You don't need to know about that speeding car until after you've obeyed. And if your parents say to you, it's time for family devotions, you stop what you're doing and you participate in devotions. You don't need to understand everything about devotions. You obey your parents and you will learn. This is the nature of obedience. Listen and do. And there's no room between listening and doing for anything else. There's no room for delay. Just a minute, Mom. There's no room for excuse. I'm too tired. There's no room for challenge. You can't make me. And there's no room for grumbling or mumbling. You see, obedience delayed is obedience denied. It's disobedience. Even if you end up doing it later. Even if you end up doing it mumbling under your breath. It's disobedience. You see, biblical obedience is immediate. And it is given to our parents as an act of submission to them. It's an act that Paul says is to be given to our parents in the Lord. So what does it mean to obey your parents in the Lord? Well, you must first know that it does not mean you are to obey only those parents who are believers. Whether your father or mother is a Christian or not, you are to obey them in the Lord. And that means a couple things. First, it means that your obedience to your parents is part of your obedience to the Lord. God in His wisdom and for His purposes gave you to your parents. And there's no mistake in His assignment. No matter how well they fulfill their role, no matter how poorly they perform, it is the Lord who has placed you there under their authority. And you are to obey them and be content with God's choice for you. He's placed you in their lives. Not only for your own good, but for their good. You obey the Lord when you obey your parents. The parents that He's given you. Second, it means that your obedience to your parents is limited in the Lord. In Colossians chapter 3, verse 20, Paul repeats this command in this way. He says, Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Your parents' authority extends over every area of your life so long as you are dependent upon them. Yet even so, their authority in all these areas is limited in the Lord. In the wisdom of God, a child's early obedience to parents is a blind obedience. Everything he or she knows comes from mom or dad. Parents are the voice and the image of God to their children. And children receive their parents' rules as God's rules. But also in the wisdom of God, the obedience of children does not remain a blind obedience. As children grow up in the covenant households of God's people, they're introduced to the Word of God. They're introduced to the scriptures. And that's where God speaks to them apart from their parents. Through the preaching. Through the reading. Through Sunday school teachers. And by the work of the Spirit, children begin to evaluate their parents' words and their parents' image to them as they compare it to God's words and God's perfect image, Jesus Christ. And as they grow in the knowledge of the Word of God, they begin to see that not all of their parents' rules are God's rules. Now, parents, in our flesh, we are tempted to resist this development. We can be offended when out of the mouths of babes, toddlers, young people, young adults, we are measured by the Word of God and convicted of our sin. we can be tempted to hide behind the wall of absolute authority or tempted to sidestep this conviction by bringing conviction on them instead. When as covenant parents, we should delight, we should encourage the work of the Holy Spirit in applying the Word of God in the hearts of our children and welcome their challenges to us from the Word of God. Why is that so? Why would I want that? So that we might repent and ask forgiveness of our children and of our God. And so that we might model for our children how to correctly respond to our sin by turning to Jesus Christ, our Savior. But whether we as parents resist it or encourage it, Our covenant children will grow to evaluate our rules to see if they are in line with God's rules. Like all authority, parental authority is delegated authority. It's given to you by the Lord. And there are no delegated authorities that may obligate children to obey, to do what God forbids, or to forbid what God demands. So children. Again, children from young to however old you are still in your parents' household. If God forbids what your parents demand, or if God demands what your parents forbid, then you must obey God and gently answer your parents from the Scriptures to the best of your ability. If you come to believe from the Word of God that your parents are in error, it is part of your obedience to the Lord to go to them at once. And if you're convinced they are wrong and they refuse to listen to you, then you must ask another Christian adult to help you. This is obedience in the Lord. So we've seen what's called for in our obedience. But the purpose of this text is not just that we would have well-behaved children. The Ephesians had well-behaved children. Atheists can have well-behaved children. And Christian parents can have well-behaved children who are rebellious to the core. We must look beneath the cover of outward obedience and consider what motivates obedience. What motivates obedience? Why are children to obey their parents? Well, Paul answers this question by adding in verse 1, for, or because, it is right. Well, is it right because mom and dad say it's right? Is it right because the pastor says it's right? Is it right because Paul says it's right? It's right, Paul says, because God says it's right. God wrote it with His own hands in the tablets of stone that He gave to Moses on Mount Sinai. It is right according to the fifth commandment that Paul quotes for us in verse 2. He says, Honor your father and your mother. Christian obedience, listening and doing, is an outward evidence or is to be an outward evidence of that inward attitude of heart toward our parents of honor. Of considering them of high worth. We are to honor them whether they deserve it or not. Because God has chosen them to govern us, their children. And as long as we are under their roof or under their care, we are to honor them through obedience. We learn this from Heidelberg Catechism, question and answer 104, that explains God's will in this commandment, in this way. That I show all honor, love, and faithfulness to my father and mother. And to all authority over me. submit myself with due obedience to all their good instruction and correction and also bear patiently with their infirmities since it is God's will to govern us by their hand. Now when we're joined in marriage and our relationship to our parents changes as we considered last time from Ephesians chapter 5 Our lives move beyond the direct authority of our parents so that we no longer are required to simply listen and do. But even though our obedience changes, our honor for them is to remain. Therefore, we are to honor them by listening to them, evaluating their requests in the light of God's Word, and then doing all that we can for them, So long as it does not undermine our marriage, our responsibility as parents to our children, or to our personal walk with the Lord. And we can honor them even further by looking to what their needs are and fulfill them for them without being asked, out of gratitude to God for all that He has done for us through them. But not only is this command for children to obey right, it is also good for them. It's a good thing, children, that you're called to obey your parents. It comes with a promise attached. Paul writes in verse 2, Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment with a promise. And here's the promise. That it may go well with you, and that you may enjoy a long life on the earth. now if we translate Paul's words the way that all major English translations do as the first commandment with the promise you'll read that in your NIV, NAS, King James all of them the first commandment with the promise we are presented with the difficulty and why is that? because the second commandment which precedes the fifth commandment of course also has a promise attached the promise that God will show love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. Now, there are many solutions to this difficulty. I think the best is that Calvin says that the promise attached to the second commandment is a universal promise. It applies to the whole law and cannot be attached specifically to the second commandment. And therefore, the fifth commandment is the only one that has a promise attached. And that sounds good, but I'm not completely satisfied, and let me tell you why. Because the promise attached to the fifth commandment is also universal. It also applies to the whole law. In Deuteronomy chapter 5, where we find the Ten Commandments, immediately after being attached to the fifth commandment in verse 16, it's repeated three times with reference to the whole law. In chapter 5, verse 33, most clearly, Moses says, Walk in all the way that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess. There it is. And he repeats it again in chapter 6, verses 1 through 3. And he says it again in chapter 11, verses 8 and 9. So therefore, although many theologians agree with Calvin's solution, I prefer one offered by William Hendrickson, a Reformed commentator. And he arrives at his conclusion or his translation in a different way, and I want to walk you through it, because I think it bears on what I think the purpose of this text tonight is. Hendrickson strictly follows Paul's word in the Greek, and the words there don't require that the word the be used, As if this is the commandment. And also he interprets the word for first as, not first in order, but first in importance. Prominent. Highly important. The way that Jesus himself used it in Matthew chapter 22, where he quoted from Deuteronomy chapter 6, which is not one of the Ten Commandments. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. And he said of that, this is the first and the greatest commandment. Well, certainly not the first in order. It's the first in importance. And with those two things in mind, Henderson translates verse 2 this way. Honor your father and mother, which is a prominent commandment with a promise. The prominence, the importance of this commandment, I think is clearly established in the book of Leviticus chapter 19. there the Lord introduces a summary of the law. We don't often turn to it because it's much longer than the Deuteronomy 5 and Exodus 20. But it is a synopsis, a summary of God's law. And God introduces it in verses 2 and 3 with these words. It says to Moses, Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them, Be holy because the Lord your God is holy. Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy. Each of you must respect his mother and father and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God. That's how he introduces the entirety of his law with these two commandments. And I believe that these two commandments are the two most important in the continuation of the covenant people of God in history on the earth. It's primarily through covenant children who from generation to generation honor their parents and obey them in the Lord that the covenant community continues to worship our God Lord's Day after Lord's Day. See, this text is not simply about Christians having well-behaved children. It's about Christians having children who are growing up knowing the covenant promises, the covenant blessings in the church. Learning that they, like their parents, are sinners who need the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Learning to honor and obey their parents in the Lord so that they, in turn, can repeat the process with their children. It's about covenant continuity in the church of Jesus Christ through the ages on the earth. Children of God, covenant community begins in the home. To neglect the honor and obey our parents in the Lord is to cut ourselves off from this continuity. It's to cut ourselves off from the promise of God attached to the commandment. It's not enough that children are born into Christian families. Unless children obey their parents in the Lord, they will end up like the children of Israel, wandering and perishing in the wilderness under God's curse. instead of under His blessing. And what is the promise that God attaches to this commandment? What is the promise He offers to those who honor and obey? Well, the promise given to the nation of Israel was for security, for prosperity, and for long life in the promised land. And it was dependent upon their obedience to the commands of God. And we know from Scripture that Israel failed to obey and that God drove them from that plot of real estate. So why does Paul bring this promise here to bear on the New Testament church? Because it's not the promise that failed. The children of Israel failed. Therefore the Apostle Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, applies the continuing command and his continuing promise to the new Israel of God, the church in Jesus Christ. As Paul proclaimed in length in chapters 1 through 3 of this letter, the coming of the Son of God, the God-man, Jesus Christ, in the flesh changed everything. In his flesh, he completely obeyed the law of God with all its commandments and regulations. And he destroyed the barrier between the Jews and the Gentiles. He destroyed that which set out Israel as its own nation amongst all the nations of the world. And Jesus Christ, by taking the place of His people, obeyed His Heavenly Father even unto death on the cross of Calvary. It was there that He reconciled Jew and Gentile together as the one new covenant community, the Israel of God, to which this command still comes, to which this promise still applies. And yet it's updated. it's no longer tied to the land so we read in verse 2 that the promise is that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth it applies to the people of God everywhere it applies for all the ages until the return of Christ now we can say that this promise is that we will live long and prosper that's the way we might say it today live long and prosper but this promise presents a challenge to us in our experience for if we interpret this promise from our finite and earthly perspective we might be confused or distressed by the fact that many disobedient children seem to prosper and to live for a long time and that many obedient children die young does this make God a liar does this mean that God can't make good on his promise well God raised and answered these questions through the prophet Balaam in Numbers chapter 23 verse 19 the prophet spoke for God God is not a man that he should lie nor a son of man that he should change his mind does he speak and then not act does he promise and not fulfill and the point that God's about to make and said, of course not. We find David, King David, knew that God to be the God of truth. Jesus Christ confessed to his Father that his word is truth. And the writer of Hebrews makes it plain that it is impossible for God to lie because he and his purposes are unchangeable. So God's not a liar and he does make good on his promises. So we need to adjust our understanding of what is being promised here. The promise here, the truth of this promise is not a guarantee that every individual Christian will live long and prosper. This promise is a guarantee to the covenant people of God as a whole that they will enjoy covenant continuity throughout the generations of this earthly life. The church of Jesus Christ will endure and the gates of hell will not prevail against her. the church of Jesus will prosper in the Lord until His return. And, by God's grace and wisdom, as a general principle, obedience to covenant parents leads to a lifestyle that is prosperous in the Lord. And that adds length to days. So even though a disobedient child should live to be a hundred years old in his wickedness, It will not be well with him. He will not have real peace, for he'll not have peace with God. And in the end, unless he repent, he will suffer the eternal torments of hell that will make any earthly success he had here pale by comparison. It will fade away. It will be gone. And even though the life of an obedient child be cut short from our perspective, with Paul we must know that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us at the coming of Jesus. No matter the circumstance, we can know that Christ watches over us in such a way that not a hair can fall from our head without the will of our Heavenly Father. In fact, all things must work together for our salvation. He's promised it. And it is certain. So children and parents, I have good news and I have bad news. The bad news is that covenant continuity in the church depends upon the obedience of our children. And as we'll see next time, covenant continuity in the church depends on how parents go about bringing up their children. Why is that bad news? Do I really have to ask? Look at your own obedience to your parents. I've looked at mine. Has it been or is it perfect? Of course it's not. It's far from. It all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, even in this. So how can we derive any hope from the promise attached to this commandment when we have not and our children cannot keep it perfectly? as whenever the law of God measures you and you know your sin afresh, you need to remember the good news. The good news that the Lord Jesus Christ has fulfilled all obedience that is required of us. He is satisfied for us. Not only has He saved those who believe in Him from all our sins and given us eternal life, He has also secured the covenant continuity of the church forever. Not only did Christ live and die for us, but He was raised for our justification and ascended to the right hand of God where He intercedes for us. And in His ascension, He has given us the Holy Spirit who continues to build the church. It's He who's at work in us to want to obey and more and more be able to obey the law of God. Even through our parents. Even this command to honor and obey our parents in the Lord. For it is right. So in the power of the Holy Spirit, the children of God, whether you are children young or parents old, we are to follow the example of Jesus Christ. He submitted to His earthly parents as part of His obedience to His Heavenly Father. And it is the Holy Spirit and Him alone who enables us to obey to listen and to do. Children, obeying your parents. Children of God, obeying our Heavenly Father. Listen and do without delay, without excuse, and without complaint. Let us pray. Heavenly Father, we are reminded tonight of something so simple it seems so self-evident that children are to obey their parents. The world knows this, Father, and demands it in a way that is not honoring to you. Pray, Father, for the parents here, for the children here, that we would all grow in our obedience to you and our children to godly parents in their good instruction and discipline. that we would all be better enabled more and more, Father, to listen to Your Word, whether it comes direct from Your Word, through Your preacher, through the sacraments, through faithful teaching, through our parents, that we would listen and we would do. Apart from You, we can do nothing. But by Your Spirit and in the strength of Christ, We can do even this more and more as you work out our salvation, our sanctification in this life until the day of Christ Jesus when we will obey you perfectly forever and always. Forever and always. Prepare us, Father, as children in this world. In Christ's name we pray. Amen.