Now, I do appreciate that it took a little work, but it was good for us. It's a beautiful psalm that reminds us of where we are. We're looking in Ephesians chapter 5 today, picking up a sermon that was begun back in December in the evening. And if nothing else, this psalm will give you the context that was discussed at that time, and that is our betrothal to Christ, the King, our Bridegroom. and we his bride. In the last verse we sang, O royal bride, give heed. This king is now thy Lord. Forsake thy former loyalties, full fealty accord, full obedience. Thy beauty and thy grace will then delight the king. And they to thee, since thou art his, their precious gifts will bring. And that is where we are in our consideration of Ephesians chapter 5 again verses 22 to 33. We're going to consider it today from the standpoint of O royal bride, that's you and me, give heed to what our Lord requires of us. You will notice in that vein on the back of your bulletin insert your spacing is not going to be very appropriate today. We've already covered betrothed to Christ back in December. So our first point will be united with the spouse and under that we will consider two points, what marriage really is and what Christian marriage requires. What marriage really is and what Christian marriage requires. We will be looking today at, again, chapter 5 of Ephesians. But before we read the text, I want to challenge you from the news this week. We saw our nation's first official and authoritative call for same-sex marriage. In effect, the Massachusetts Supreme Court said if you want the benefits of marriage, then you must be married. But because the law does not define marriage as the union between a man and a woman, they say there is no rational reason to restrict marriage to the union between a man and a woman. You see, the judges no longer assume what the authors of that law took for granted. That by its very nature, marriage is between a man and a woman. The Word of God has established it. And the history of the world has confirmed it. But unbelieving men have absolutely rejected absolute truth and deceived themselves into thinking that he is no longer bound by the revealed will of God and is left to his own rationality to determine what's good and what's evil. As disturbing as this development is, there is something else that is even more disturbing. Unbelievers are not the only ones who are guilty of this self-deception. Believers who do not reject absolute truth, at least not absolutely, more and more are enticed to reject those truths that they find difficult or disagreeable. And when it comes to marriage, many have followed the world's lead with the attitude, what's in it for me? They either forget or reject the fullness of what God has revealed in His Word about what the marriage relationship is and how it is to be lived. They defend the truth that marriage by definition is between a man and a woman. And at the same time they disobey God in how they live out their own marriage with their husband or their wife. Brothers and sisters, this should not be. The Holy Scripture is the Word of God. And through it, God has revealed how things really are, how things ought to be, and how things ultimately will be. This is not a book of good advice. God has condescended to reveal in His Word who He is, what He's done for us in Christ, his salvation, and he's gone on. He's told us how he wants us to live in this world. So if you know the joy of Christ's salvation, you are called to live a life of prudence, a life lived in obedience to the revealed will of God, a life lived dependent and controlled by the Holy Spirit. So as we read our text today, it applies this call to prudence to all of us who are married. And it speaks directly to us. But it's also for those who hope one day to be married. Well, does that mean that the rest of you can safely check out until the sermon's over? I don't think so. As we considered last time, as members of the church, you are the betrothed of Christ. You are the bride of Christ. Therefore, you can see in this development of this understanding of how we live our lives married to a spouse, how we are to live our lives married to our Lord. Read with me. We'll start in chapter 5 of Ephesians, beginning at verse 8 for context. Through the end of the chapter, our text will pick up at verse 22. Hear the word of God. You were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light, for the fruit of the light consist in all goodness, righteousness, and truth and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said, Wake up, O sleeper. Rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you. Be very careful then how you live, not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy. cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Here ends the reading of God's Word. Well, let's begin where Paul begins, and that's by establishing what marriage really is. And Paul does this really by inference. He doesn't state it immediately. He does it by quoting Scripture. See, Paul doesn't simply tell us what to do here. He tells us the truth, and then based on that truth, tells us what to do. And he does that by referring to Genesis chapter 2. And in particular, he quotes verse 24 in order to draw our minds there and give us the basis for his entire exhortation to wives and to husbands. The verse begins, verse 31 in our text, for this reason, which points us back. For what reason, we should ask? But it doesn't point us back to what Paul has said. It points us back to what was said in Genesis chapter 2 in verses 18 to 23. And it's there that we read, The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. And then skipping forward until after Adam has named all the animals and found no helper suitable for him, the text continues, So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. And while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. For this reason, that God created woman out of man. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and will be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. All that God has to say to us today through the Apostle Paul is grounded on this. His creation of the first man and the first woman. In them, God established marriage as the most intimate of human relationships. And He created it to be stronger and more binding than any other. In fact, even stronger than that between a parent and their children. And from the beginning, husbands and wives have become one flesh in marriage. Jesus said of this bond what God has joined together let no man separate see Adam and Eve were one flesh in a way that others will never be but they were also one flesh in the very same way that every husband and wife will be husband and wife become one flesh physically in the sexual union designed by God exclusively for the marriage and this union is so complete that Paul can say in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. The wife's body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. And the husband's body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife. And in the creation of Adam and Eve, in this one flesh relationship, God also established an order. An order of authority. Now according to 1 Peter chapter 2, We are to submit ourselves, for the Lord's sake, to every authority instituted among men. Whether that be the state, the church, or the family. And these authorities are established by God to endure until the return of Christ when they will no longer be needed. They will be fulfilled in Him as our Lord, as our husband, as our shepherd. So therefore, because these authorities have been established and they will endure until the end of our age, even though in Christ there is no Jew or Greek, no slave or free, no male or female, for we are all one in Christ Jesus. And even though Paul says in verse 21 that we are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, even though husbands and wives enjoy equal standing in the sight of God. They are to relate to one another in marriage in the way that God has created it to be. Within a marriage, the husband is to exercise authority. Not because he's worthy in himself, but because God determined it. He created it with Adam and Eve. This is an argument we find throughout Scripture. Paul says in 1 Timothy 2, I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man. Why, we ask, why do you say that, Paul? He says, because Adam was formed first, and then Eve. And he says in 1 Corinthians chapter 11, man is the image and glory of God, but the woman is the glory of man. And why does he say that? Because man did not come from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. The analogy Paul uses for this one flesh, this one flesh physically, this one flesh in authority is the image of the human frame, the head and the body. And it's the same analogy he uses for Christ and his church. He says in verse 23, the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. God through Paul is not saying that the husband ought to be the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. No, this is a statement of fact. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. That's how it really is. That's what marriage is. Therefore, Paul says in verse 28, husbands ought to love their wives as their own body. And he's not making a comparison here. He's not saying that husbands ought to love their wives in the same way he loves his own body. He's driving home the point that a husband ought to love his wife because she is, in fact, his body in marriage. Therefore, Paul goes on to say, he who loves his wife loves himself. It's a matter of the same being. Now, just as Christ pictures the husband in the marriage and the wife, or the church pictures the wife in marriage, Paul speaks to this in verse 24 in a very clear way that our English translations have softened a bit. The NIV rightly applies what Paul actually says. It's a right application to say that now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands and everything. That's true. But what Paul says here is not a statement of the will of God. He is stating the facts of the decree of God, what God has done. And the parallel he draws is this. He says, just as the church is subject to Christ. Statement of fact. Thus the wives are subject to their husbands. You see, just as the church was made subject to Christ by virtue of their adoption in Him, so also was a woman made subject to a man by virtue of her marriage to Him. That's the way it is. That's how it really is. You see, the basis for Paul's exhortation to follow here to husbands and wives is the established fact that husbands and wives are one flesh with two parts, a head and a body. And those two parts each have a role to play for the goodness of the whole, roles ordained by God until the return of Christ, even among the saints who stand as equals before God. Well, we've seen what marriage is. And this is the starting point. And now we turn our attention to what Christian marriage requires. And before I do, I would like to prick up the ears of the young people. Whatever else you may expect for marriage, and I'm sure you have expectations, you would be wise to remember what marriage actually is, according to the Word of God, the design of God. And to pay attention as we talk about what is required of wives and of husbands in this relationship. And you would be wise to prepare yourself for your role in marriage, if that is what you seek. And to look for a partner with whom you will be pleased to fulfill this role. You need to know both halves of the relationship. Well, Paul has summed up in verse 33 what we will consider from the rest of this text. He concludes, he says, Each one of you, speaking to husbands, must love his wife, and also each one of you, wives, must respect her husband. The NIV has done well to translate in verse 33, The wife must respect her husband. The word Paul uses there is the word that is translated fear, as it was in the 1901 American Standard Edition. Now, the use fear here is not wrong, because that's exactly what Paul wrote. But to use fear today can mislead, and it can be misused to justify a sinful use of authority. You see, fear is the proper response to something or someone who is superior to us in some way. The type of fear expressed depends upon who is being feared, or what is being feared. And it can range anywhere from the fear of terror to the fear expressed in the adoration of our God. You see, this word has broad meaning. Given that a husband is to love his wife, as we will consider shortly, then this fear ought not to be terror. And given that a husband is not God to his wife, then this fear ought not to be adoration. Respect is a good and helpful translation for the attitude a wife is to have toward her husband. And how is a wife to show respect for her husband? By submitting to his God-given authority. Women, in this society, you may fulfill any function and any responsibility that you desire, at least in theory. There may be glass ceilings out there that I am blind to. But when you enter into marriage, your husband becomes your first concern. And whether today you are presently respecting your husband through submission to his authority, or whether you dishonor him through rebellion, the fact remains that you are subject to him by virtue of marriage. So when Paul writes to each one of you in verse 33, he is speaking both to husbands and to wives, and he speaks to you today, therefore God calls on each and every wife here, out of reverence for Christ, to submit to your husband. Now before the women get too discouraged and the men get too excited, we need to note that this submission is not without qualification. The first qualification, according to verse 33, is that a wife is subject only to her own husband. Apart from him, there is no man in this world you must respect and submit to other than one who holds a God-ordained authority over you and your husband. the civil magistrate, an officer of the state, or an elder in the church. Now, there may be men that you do respect. In fact, there may be some that are easier to respect than your husband. But you owe no man the respect you owe the husband God has given you. No matter how poorly he measures up to the calling to love you, you must respect your husband. If not for who He is, at least for what He is, He's your head. And what He will be if He's a child of God, a glorified Son of God. A second qualification, according to verse 22, is that a wife is to submit to her husband as to the Lord. Now, although it is certainly true that wives are not to be considered or treated as slaves, Your husband is not your Lord in that respect. The logic Paul employs in chapter 6 to exhort slaves can also be applied here if we change the words and the objects of the words. I believe this reasoning is true. Wives, submit to your earthly husbands with respect and with sincerity of heart, just as you would submit to Christ. Submit to them not only to win their favor when their eye is upon you, but like the bride of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Indeed, this is one of the most important ways in which you will serve the Lord Jesus Christ, and that's by submitting to the authority he has given to your husband. The final qualification, according to verse 24, is that a wife is to submit to her husband in everything. In everything? Yes. And no. Yes, because His authority extends to every department of your life together. No, because the degree of His authority is limited by God's authority. There is no delegated authority in this world, in this life, whether it be master or parent or magistrate or elder or husband. that may obligate you to do what God forbids or to bind you from doing what God commands. We must obey God rather than men. So if God prohibits what your husband demands, or if God demands what your husband prohibits, then you must obey God and gently correct your husband from the Word of God. so long as you maintain your allegiance to the revealed will of God your obedience to your husband will be obedience to Christ. But in matters of Christian liberty where God has neither prohibited or demanded anything in His word or something in His word you may exercise Christian maturity and wisdom. Now the Lord has placed ultimate responsibility for your household upon your husband. therefore you should offer your husband your best wisdom on the matter and then honor his decision in this you show your submission to Christ and you show your trust in Christ for the consequences in respectful submission to your husband you will retain your liberty and your integrity as a child of God in your submission to your husband you are to picture to your family and to the church and to the unbelieving world the submission of the church to Christ, her head. And may it be that your love and gratitude to Christ, your Savior, would spur you on in this, your calling. Men, when it comes to marriage, Paul did not stop writing at verse 24. With all his talk of authority and submission, surely Paul will give us husbands the key to wielding this authority. And indeed he does, but not in the way we might expect. The way a husband is to exercise his authority over his wife is modeled in the way Christ exercises his authority over his bride, the church. Look again at verse 23 and follow along with me. For the Lord is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, the body, of which he is the Lord. Right? Wrong. Although it might seem entirely proper, this is not what Paul says. Rather, he says, of which he is the Savior. Emphasizing, I believe, that a husband rules as Christ rules when he does so in a way that protects and blesses his wife, just as Christ protects and blesses his bride, the church. Is this not the resounding theme of verses 25 to 33? In verse 25, husbands, love your wives. And again in verse 28, husbands ought to love their wives. He who loves his wife loves himself. And finally, in verse 33, each one of you also must love his wife. Is there any doubt about what God's demand is for husbands? John Calvin, too often considered stern and autocratic, was a man who loved his wife dearly. And it appears from the record that he practiced what he preached on this matter. Calvin said, if husbands are honored to bear Christ's image and to be in some measure his representatives, they ought to resemble him also in the discharge of their duty. The early church father, Chrysostom, says to us husbands, have you seen the measure of obedience? Have you seen what's required of your wife? Hear also the measure of love. Would you have your wife obey you as the church does Christ? Care for her as Christ cares for the church. Men, by nature, we are prone to throw ourselves into our work or give ourselves over to our hobbies. But when we enter into marriage, our wives are to become our first concern. And so today, whether you presently love your wife through sacrificial care, or you withhold your love through neglect or disdain, the fact remains that you are responsible to the Lord for her, by virtue of your marriage to her. In verse 33, God calls each one of you and calls me, out of reverence for Christ, to love your wife. Let us consider the nature of this love as we learn it from this text. First men, this love is to be exclusive. You are to love your own wife and her only. Just as Christ shares his love with no one else, so you are to love your wife only. Apart from her, there is no other woman in this world you are to love in this way. Now, there may be women that you like and be tempted to love. In fact, there may be some that you like more than your wife. But you are to show no other woman the love that you owe the wife God has given you. No matter how poorly she measures up to her calling to respect you, you must, Paul says, you must love your wife. If not for who she is, at least for what she is. She is your body. And like you, if she's a Christian, she will be glorified one day as son of God. So that leads us to the second thing about this love, that you are to love your wife as your own body. Paul writes in verses 28 to 30, Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body. Gentlemen, when was the last time you really looked at yourself in the mirror? I mean, really looked. I dare say that when you did that, there was at least something about you that doesn't quite suit you. You know, if only you were more handsome or stronger, healthier, more agile. Still, what you beheld there was your own body, and you do care for it. In the same way, there may be something about your wife that doesn't quite suit you. If only she would respect you more or be more beautiful. But still, she is your body, and you are to care for her. For a little perspective, all you need to do is consider what Christ sees in His church, His body. Our total submission. Our extreme beauty. Our ever faithful obedience to Him. Do you think so? I know not. And yet He loves us. As His body. See, Christ continually cares for and feeds His body. He feeds her with His Word and sacrament and He cares for her by His Holy Spirit. He gives her grace for today and hope for tomorrow. In her weakness, He makes her strong. In her anxiety, He gives her peace. In her trials, He comforts her. Likewise, husbands, you are to continually feed and care for your wife. As a spiritual head in your home, you are to nourish her with Scripture. You are to guide her in prayer. You are to cherish her and hold her close. You are to be tender toward her and express your care and your concern. You are to provide for her, and not just enough so that she can survive. You are to provide for her with bounty so that she may thrive. Paul writes in 1 Timothy chapter 5, If anyone does not provide for his relatives, especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. And how true that is with regard to physical provision, but how much more true is it when we fail to provide spiritual provision for our wives? The third thing we need to know about this love is that it is a sacrificial love. Paul writes in verse 25, Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Christ took the initiative for his bride. He's loved his own body from before the foundation of the world and came in the fullness of time to live and to die for her, for you, and for me. He didn't wait until she respected him enough she hated him he didn't wait until she was obedient enough she was dead in her transgressions and sins and he didn't wait for her to beg for his love he gave it when she didn't deserve it or even want it there's nothing that we can do or say to earn or entice Jesus to love us how unlovely and unlovable we are. Yet love us He did. And love us He does. As the scripture accounts, God demonstrates His love for us in this. That while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Husbands, you may never have the occasion to give your last breath for your wife. But your day-to-day love for her is to be just the same, unselfish. You are to love her with the love Paul speaks of in 1 Corinthians 13. Love that is patient and kind. Love that does not envy or boast and is not proud. Love that is not rude or self-seeking. Love that is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrong. Love that always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Love that never fails. If you bring home the bacon, but you have not this love, you do not nourish her. If you keep her in pearls, but you have not this love, you neglect her. If you are faithful to her, but you have not this love, you cheat her. Yet at the same time, your love toward your wife is not to be a lawless love. You are not to give in to her every desire, her every want. You are to give yourself to her for her sanctification. Just as she is to help keep you accountable to the Word of God, you are to help keep her accountable to the Word of God. If God prohibits what she wants, or if God demands what she refuses you must obey God and you must correct her gently from the word of God. And so long as you persevere in your allegiance to the revealed will of God your love for your wife will serve for her sanctification. But in matters of Christian liberty things that God has not prohibited nor demanded you must exercise maturity and wisdom just as your wife must. Yes, it's true, you have the ultimate responsibility for your household. But you have a helper God has given you, suitable for you, God says. That's how He created it. That's how it is. Therefore, you should listen carefully to her before making your decision. In this, you show your gratitude to God for His provision for you. And in this you retain your liberty and your integrity as a child of God. In your love for your wife, men, you are to picture to your family, to the church, and to an unbelieving world, the love of Christ for his church, his bride. And may it be that your love and gratitude to Christ, your Savior, will spur you on in this, your calling. Now, if this message seems too harsh, it's because living the mystery of marriage united with a spouse requires more than we can give in our own strength. And here we must remember the wonderful truth we discussed last time, that we are the bride of Christ. He has taken us to Himself. And in that taking, He has given us the Holy Spirit. And by that Holy Spirit working within us, we are able to hear this Word today, to bow before it, to will to do it, and to put it into practice. Praise God for His provision, for us, His bride, for our sanctification as husbands and wives living the mystery of marriage. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, this morning we are confronted by your word and also consoled by your word. We see in the design of marriage that which you have created from the very beginning in Adam and Eve and established for all of time that the one flesh relationship is more than we often consider. We are by nature self-serving and we are quick to ignore or reject or put away that which you call upon us to do and to be as your children. We thank you that you've not left us to ourself to figure out how to relate to our husband or to our wife. You have told us. You've told us right where we need to hear it. And you've reminded us, Lord, that it is only because Christ is our husband and that we are your bride. That we can aspire to such life. Heavenly Father, we pray that this day as we leave here, your word will ring in our minds and in our hearts and we will own up to those things we've put away and pursue those things you've called us to, to the glory of your name, to the building up of the church, to the strengthening of our families. In Christ's name we pray. Amen.