Please turn in your Bibles to Genesis chapter 45. We just prayed together, Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. I always find that the hardest phrase of the Lord's Prayer. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we are commanded to forgive those who wrong us. Forgiveness is necessary in every human relationship. I counsel with the Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship. And in most of the cases, forgiveness is an essential element. That's why there is conflict between parents and children and husbands and wives. There's been sin and forgiveness is required. And sometimes at a very difficult time finding the ability to forgive. Forgiveness can be very difficult. Your spouse betrays you. Your friend disappoints you. Your sibling, your brother, your sister mistreats you. A stranger robs your home. We live in a world in which revenge is even approved. You can see the ads for the lawyers on television. Dial 1-800-GET-EVEN and hire an attorney when someone wrongs you because you shouldn't let them get by with it. Even though I don't know each one of you, I know tonight that there are many struggles in this room. There are people here who are having difficulty forgiving where they've been hurt very deeply. Sometimes the holidays, as families come together and people who may not get along that well are forced into the same household, it can be a great challenge to deal with forgiveness. The scripture tells us in Hebrews 12, 15, See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled. When you fail to forgive, bitterness can take over. When we first purchased our church building here in Escondido, the first time someone mowed the grass, there was this little weed sticking up about a foot high, and the person mowing the grass just went around it. And as time went on, it got taller and taller, And now we have a tree that I would say is probably 18 to 20 feet tall in our side yard. What could have been pulled out with two fingers when we first moved into the building six years ago, now you would need a saw and all kinds of equipment to remove. And so it is with bitterness. When there's a failure to forgive, as the scripture commands, there are many consequences. There are emotional consequences of misery, of sorrow. There are physical consequences. You can't sleep. Some can get ulcers. It can affect blood pressure. There's obviously breaches socially in relationships. Often divorce is the result of a failure to forgive. And spiritually, we're told in Scripture, if you're not right with your brother, it affects your relationship to God. A husband, if he is not right with his wife, his prayers are hindered. Now, we all know that we should forgive, but forgiveness can be hard. You can say, forgive us as we've been forgiven. I'm sorry, we should forgive as we've been forgiven, but how? I know that's what the Bible says, but how can I do it? The New Testament gives us an explanation of the theology of forgiveness in Ephesians 4.32. Paul says, be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other just as God and Christ also has forgiven you. It's because of what Christ has done for us that we are able to forgive. But what I want to do is give you an example that fleshes that out, and it's an example from the Old Testament, from the Old Covenant. The example of Joseph, son of Jacob. And he applies the principles that are explicitly taught in the New Testament as he faces the need to forgive. And you're familiar with the story. In Genesis 37, Joseph at about 17 years of age is the favorite son of Jacob. And yet his brothers hated him as he told of his dreams and wore his coat of many colors. In Genesis 37, when they catch Joseph alone, they plot against him. They plan to put him to death. They beat him up. They throw him into a pit. And then, I think one of the most amazing verses in that section is they sat down and ate their lunch. There he is in the pit screaming. And they're eating. And then along comes a caravan. And they sell him as a slave. His brothers returned home to their father in Lai, saying he was killed by a wild beast. And this conspiracy was maintained for 20 years. Now, this is significant for you tonight, because if you've come here saying, well, boy, I've been hurt so much, I just don't know if I can forgive. I doubt if anyone in this room has been hurt as badly as Joseph was. If you can imagine being beaten nearly to death, left for dead, and then sold as a slave. And it got worse after that, as he's a slave in the house of Potiphar. He's falsely accused of a heinous crime and is cast into jail. One bad thing after the other. But finally, as you know the story very well, he's elevated to prime minister of Egypt. He tells Pharaoh's dream, he explains the dream, and has great power over the years of fat. The stores are created for the nation, and only for them, for the neighboring nations. And in the providence of God during the lean years, his brothers come back and he tests them. And finally, his brothers show a change of heart. Judah, at the end of chapter 44, is willing to lay down his life for Benjamin, that Benjamin would not be harmed. And then Joseph decides to reveal himself to his brothers. And that's where we pick it up in chapter 45. This is one of the most moving accounts in all of Scripture. Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. And he cried, Have everyone go out from me. So there was no man with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. He wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard of it. Then Joseph said to his brothers, I am Joseph. Is my father still alive? But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. Then Joseph said to his brothers, Please, come closer to me. And they came closer, and he said, I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here. For God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are still five years in which there is going to be neither plowing nor harvesting. God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God, and he has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of his household and ruler over all the land of Egypt. Hurry and go to my father and say to him, Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me. Do not delay. You shall live in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children, and your children's children, and your flocks, and your herds, and all that you have, Then I will also provide for you, for there is still five years of famine to come, and you and your household and all that you have would be impoverished. Behold, your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see, that it is my mouth which is speaking to you. Now you must tell my father of all my splendor in Egypt and all you have seen, and you must hurry and bring my father down here. Then he fell on his brother Benjamin's neck and wept, and Benjamin wept on his neck. He kissed all his brothers and wept on them, and afterwards his brothers talked with him. Now when the news was heard in Pharaoh's house that Joseph's brothers had come, it pleased Pharaoh and his servants. Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, say to your brothers, do this, load your beasts and go to the land of Canaan, and take your father and your households and come to me, and I will give for you the best of the land of Egypt, and you will eat the fat of the land. Now you are ordered, do this, take wagons from the land of Egypt for your little ones and for your wives, and bring your father and come. Do not concern yourself with your goods, for the best of all the land of Egypt is yours. Then the sons of Israel did so, and Joseph gave them wagons, according to the command of Pharaoh, and gave them provisions for the journey. To each of them he gave changes of garments, but to Benjamin he gave 300 pieces of silver and five changes of garments. To his father he said as follows, ten donkeys loaded with the best things of Egypt, ten female donkeys loaded with the grain and the bread and sustenance for his father on the journey. so he sent his brothers away and as they departed he said to them do not quarrel on the journey then they went up from egypt and came down to the land of canaan to their father jacob and they told him saying joseph is still alive and indeed he is ruler over all the land of egypt but jacob was stunned for he did not believe them when they told him all the words of joseph that he had spoken to them and when he saw the wagons that joseph had sent to carry him the spirit of It is not my intention this evening to exhaustively explain everything there is in that passage. But rather what I want to do is use Joseph as illustrative of what the scripture teaches concerning forgiveness and his relationship with his brothers. And you can see three principles. First of all, forgiving is forgetting. When you forgive, you forget the offense which has been committed against you. Joseph, from here on, does not hold the crimes of his brothers against them. It's interesting, the only ones who do raise it are his brothers. In chapter 50, after Jacob has died, they're the ones who come to Joseph in verse 15. And they wonder, what if Joseph bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for the wrong we did to him? So they sent a message to Joseph saying, Your father charged us before he died, saying, Thus you shall say to Joseph, Please forgive, I beg you, the transgression of your brothers and their sin, for they did you wrong. And now please forgive the transgression of your servants, the servants of the God of your father. They were the ones who couldn't understand how Joseph could just let it go. But Joseph's forgiveness is a mirror of God's forgiveness to us. We're told under the New Covenant that God will forgive our iniquity and our sin He will remember no more. What does that mean? What does it mean that God doesn't remember our sin? It doesn't mean that His omniscient somehow is wiped out like a hard disk being formatted. And there's a sense in which God always knows the sin we have done. But it means that God treats us as if we have not sinned. He remembers our sin against us no more as we sang. In Psalm 103, that he has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities, for as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his loving kindness toward those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far he has removed our transgressions from us. He not only treats us as if we haven't done it, but he actually treats us as if we did the thing that was right. He imputes to us the righteousness of Christ. That is the calling that God places upon you when you forgive. Ken Sandy, in his book, The Peacemaker, says that forgiveness involves promises. Involves promises not to raise the issue again against the offender. Sometimes in a conflict in a marriage there's a promise. Okay, I forgive you. But then the next time the conflict comes, that bone which had been buried is taken out and is used against the offender. Saying, well, remember when you did this to me before. When you forgive, you've given up that right. It means you don't speak about what has been done to other people. Oh, remember what he did to me. And perhaps damaging the reputation or seeking sympathy. It means it's over. It means you don't even raise it to yourself. 1 Corinthians 13 verse 5 says, Love keeps no record of wrongs suffered. This is one way that bitterness can be so destructive as we replay in our mind the evil that others have done against us. It's very destructive. We have a duty not only to externally forgive, but even to control what we think about. Forgiveness means to treat the other person as if he hadn't done it. In a marriage, it means that it's not a matter of saying, okay, you're in the doghouse for a week, you're on the couch for a month. No, it's full and free as God has received us for the sake of Christ. God doesn't make us do penance. God forgives us based on the merits of our Savior. Well, some would say, well, what if I just don't feel like forgiving that person? Forgiveness is not something according to the Bible which is felt. Forgiveness is something which is granted in obedience to God. Sometimes it can be a great temptation to hold on to it, a temptation to cling to bitterness. But the Scripture says that we are not tempted beyond what we can bear, that God will provide a way, He will provide strength. He will provide a means of escape. Well, someone would say, well, it's too difficult for me, it's too hard, how can I do it? Well, ultimately, it's looking to Christ and what He has done for us. Jesus tells the parable of the unmerciful servant who had been forgiven much, and it's almost impossible to translate it into modern money, but he had been forgiven by his master a great fortune beyond what we can calculate. And then someone else owed him a small amount, and he refused to forgive. And the point Jesus is making there is if we want to put our hands around the throat of the one who has wronged us, we are that unmerciful servant. We must remember the forgiveness we have been granted for Christ's sake and forgive on that basis. Some would ask, well, what if the person who has hurt me hasn't sought my forgiveness? And I certainly agree with those who would say there's a sense in which forgiveness cannot be granted unless it is sought. But this is not a license to bitterness. Some people hold on to that wrong that's been done against them. And I don't think that is reflecting what the Scripture says our attitude should be. Think of our Lord Jesus on the cross. What did He say? Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. Stephen, as he was being stoned, praying for those who stoned him, that God would not hold that sin against them. You think of the attitude conveyed in the parable of the prodigal son, of the father. He is not angry and embittered and just spending all this time with his son being away, building up his anger to take revenge when he comes back, but rather, in his heart, he stands looking out down the road, ready and eager for the opportunity to grant forgiveness as soon as it is sought. And certainly Joseph was not an embittered man. In chapter 41, as he names his son, he conveys he has already forgotten the past as God has enabled him. So first of all, forgiving is forgetting. Forgiving is treating the offender as if he hadn't done it. But that is not enough. Forgiving is also loving. Negatively, you cannot seek revenge. Do not seek revenge. Joseph didn't try to get even. He didn't say, okay, I've suffered for 20 years at your hands. So you serve me as slaves for 20 years and then we'll call it even. Because that's how God forgives us. It's a free forgiveness. We are declared righteous based upon the work of Christ alone. Some people have a hard time accepting that. Some people in other religions are trying to do things to earn the favor of God, but it can't be done. Forgiveness is offered by God as a gift, received by faith alone, by God's grace alone, because of the sufficiency of the work of Christ. And that is the way we are to forgive. When his brothers come to him and offer to make themselves his slaves to pay back the wrong they had done, in chapter 50, verse 18, they say, Behold, we are his servants. But Joseph said to them, Do not be afraid, for am I in God's place? Joseph recognized, as the book of Romans later explains more fully, that vengeance belongs to God. When you want revenge, you're playing God in the worst possible way. It's not your job. positively Joseph doesn't merely refrain from taking revenge but actively he loves his brothers as you see in verse 5 he reassures them do not be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here for God sent me before you to preserve life he is generous with them loading them up with gifts and providing for them and taking care of them materially he is open in his affection for them In verse 14 and 15, he falls upon Benjamin's neck and weeps. He kisses all his brothers and weeps upon them and speaks with them lovingly. And interestingly, in verse 24, he admonishes them. He says, do not quarrel on the journey. That's an admonition they probably needed as they imagined facing their father, explaining that Joseph is yet alive. And this conspiracy of these 20 years is about to end. Joseph's actions are a picture of God's generous love for us in Christ. God doesn't merely forgive us, but he also kills the fatted calf and celebrates our return to him. He not only rescues us from poverty, but he clothes us with the glorious righteousness of Christ. He bestows numerous gifts upon us, his love, his word, the fellowship of his people, his spirit, the gifts of the spirit, And a heavenly inheritance where we are treated as sons and heirs, not slaves. He truly has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies. When you forgive, it's not enough to withhold revenge. God calls you to be the one to take initiative in love. In Corinth, when one in the congregation had been disciplined, when he was repentant, Paul admonished him in 2 Corinthians 2. You should forgive and comfort him, lest somehow such a one be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Wherefore, I urge you to reaffirm your love for him. Sometimes when people wrong you, like Joseph's brothers, it's hard for them to really understand and comprehend what forgiveness means. It's hard for them to believe they're forgiven. And it's not for you to wait for them to start reaching out to you and showing love to you. But it's your place, in a Christ-like way, to overwhelm them with what one person called a love offensive. Finding ways to do them good, show affection to them, build a relationship with them. Remembering exactly how God has forgiven you. So we've seen, first of all, that forgiveness involves forgetting. As God remembers our sin against us no more, we are to remember the sins of those we have forgiven no more against them. That forgiving involves loving, not merely refraining from revenge, but actively pursuing the good of those we have forgiven, to treat them well for Christ's sake. Then we come perhaps to the most difficult part of forgiveness, and the question can be, how? How can I do that? That's hard. I don't want to do that. I don't feel like doing that. When people hurt me, especially when they hurt me very badly, and perhaps coming into your mind right now, or is that one person, that one situation that gnaws at you. When you pray for that person, instead of your prayers going up to heaven for them, you start thinking about what they've done, and it troubles you, and it gnaws at your heart. That brings us to the last point, which is the most beautiful part of Joseph's story of forgiveness. That is, forgiveness is trusting. You're able to forgive as you trust God. Joseph is able to forgive his brothers because he looks beyond their sin. to see the hand of a sovereign God. In chapter 45, verse 5, he said, Do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. In verse 7, he says, God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. In chapter 50, verse 21, a very famous verse. I'm sorry, in verse 20, He says, for as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result and to preserve many people alive. Sometimes when tragedy strikes, the greatest struggle we can have is facing the fact that it's not just the person that did this to me who is responsible, But ultimately, God is in control. Sometimes it's easier for the Arminian. I think it's only a pretend easiness. But when you know that God is in control and something awful happens to you, when it's your car that gets smashed up, when it's your house that gets robbed, when it's your business partner who betrays you, it didn't just happen by chance. You have to realize, as did Joseph, when he was the guy that gets thrown into the pit, nearly killed, sold as a slave, betrayed and lied about, and all these awful things happening to him, spending years in prison. It wasn't just a coincidence. It wasn't even just what these people did to him. Ultimately, it was the hand of God. And sometimes when difficulty comes, the greatest challenge can be, why did God allow this? Why did God allow me to suffer in this way all these years? Now, Joseph did get a hint of that. And I think these dreams that he received from the Lord of the day when he would be exalted above his brothers, perhaps was the hope that helped him to endure through these difficult times. But we can have a great difficulty. It's nice if you know the end of the story. It's nice if you know, well, this is a terrible time you're going through, and you've got all these family problems and all these health problems, and these people are doing all these bad things to you, but 20 years from now, things are going to be wonderful. Even then, that's a bit rough. But Joseph is a man who has a great faith. He trusts God. By the eyes of faith, he sees God's hand at work, even in their evil deeds. And it wasn't just on this day, when things were good, and he was the prime minister, he was able to see this. It was on the day when he was made a slave, He trusted God and was the best slave he could be in the house of Potiphar. It was on the day when he was cast into prison. He didn't do himself in. He did not sulk, but rather he got to the point through his good stewardship of managing the prison. And yes, as he was exalted, he still kept his eyes, his eyes of faith on the Lord. And he saw that all of this was necessary. And he was willing, if it pleased God, for him to suffer in this way, for this time. If that was the means of God accomplishing His great work of redemption, of delivering His people into Egypt and then out of Egypt later, by the means of the people being delivered from the famine, and all the purpose of God, and the mystery of the promise that it made to Abraham, that the people would be there for this time, and Egypt would serve like a womb, that the nation could be born. Joseph was willing. He was willing to be used of God for God's purposes to be accomplished. And he clung to his hope in God throughout the ordeal. We too have a hope. It's a hope we need. There are a couple aspects to it. The ultimate hope is that no matter what hardship God allows us to have in this life through the hands of wicked men, that they may mean it for evil, but God ultimately intends good for us. I can't assure you that if someone is hurting you now, that by this time next year, everything will be fine, and you'll know why it is, and you'll be just like Joseph. It took a long time for Joseph. I can't even assure you it will be in this life. You can be assured of this. You have a hope. Joseph had a dream of a better future. But you have a much better revelation that one day the sufferings of this life will be nothing compared to the glory that is revealed in the day of Christ. And as you've suffered to the glory of God, of sometimes what other men have afflicted upon you. It will all be worth it in the end. And you also have the assurance, and you're able, when people hurt you, to forgive because you know that God is sovereign and He is working out His purposes in your life. You need sound theology. You need to be a Calvinist to be able to forgive. Because the hope of Joseph was, even if you did mean it for evil, God still meant it for good. And you weren't trying to do that, but our God is sovereign over what appear to be the free acts, even of evil men. He works all things, after the counsel of His will, He works all things together for good, for those who love Him, for those who are called according to His purpose. It doesn't excuse the evil acts of wicked men, but it sure helps us to know that when the drunk driver ran the red light and smashed into the car of your loved one, and they're in the hospital now, that God didn't look away when that happened, that God had a good purpose in it. Even if you don't know what it is, He is in control. Of course, the supreme example of God using the wicked deeds of evil men to accomplish His good purpose is the cross itself. Our Lord Jesus, like Joseph, knew that his suffering was necessary so that we might be saved. His suffering was necessary to accomplish a great deliverance. He suffered at the hands of men who were deliberately doing evil. Yet all the while, God was accomplishing good, the greatest possible good. That is our deliverance. And our Lord Jesus was able to say, Father, forgive them, for they knew not what they do. Because, as Peter says, while being reviled, he did not revile in return. While suffering, he uttered no threat, but kept entrusting to himself, to him who judges righteously. And he himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. For by his wounds, you were healed. And as Joseph ultimately was satisfied, that the years of his difficulty were worthwhile because the purpose of God was accomplished. So the Lord Jesus Christ was pleased to suffer for us for the joy set before Him and He has accomplished redemption. When people hurt you, are you willing to look upon them as God's agents for His good purpose? Maybe to sanctify you, to humble you through trials. Perhaps to bring glory to God through your patient suffering. Perhaps even that good might be done to them. We can give thanks in all circumstances, even when people hurt us, even when people steal from us. When we're bitter, when we're refusing to forgive, that's indicative of unbelief. If you refuse to forgive, you're denying the sovereignty and the goodness of God. The Lord Jesus was able to forgive. Stephen was able to forgive. You may remember Elizabeth Elliot. Her husband, along with other men, were murdered by Aka Indians. But she forgave. She went and brought them the gospel. And God used even that tragedy to bring many to salvation. So I hope the next time you're tempted to be angry, the hurt that others have done to you comes to your mind and tempts you to bitterness that you'll remember you'll remember Joseph you'll also remember Christ that forgiving involves forgetting putting it out of your mind treating this other person as if they'd never done it because God remembers your sin no more that forgiving is loving the offender not merely withdrawing your wrath not merely backing off of vengeance but positively as God has poured out blessings upon us as a forgiven people to pour out blessings upon those who have hurt you whom you've forgiven and ultimately forgiving is trusting God realizing that God is working out His good purposes through even the evil acts of men against us no matter what people have done to you God is still in control and you can trust Him last of all it is impossible to forgive in this way unless you know the forgiveness of God and Christ we're told again in Ephesians 4.32 that we are to forgive each other as God and Christ has also forgiven us do you know what it is to be forgiven do you know what it is to owe an immense debt of sin that you could never pay and to recognize that debt but then to understand that the Lord Jesus Christ on the cross paid the debt for guilty sinners? Have you trusted Him and known that not only has He taken away your debt, but to recognize as well that He has made you rich? When you're rich in Christ, when you've been forgiven, you can forgive. Amen.