Tonight, we're looking at Proverbs 5 as we continue our study in the Ten Commandments and we come to the seventh tonight. We're going to read two question answers from the Heidelberg first before we go to the scriptures. That's found on page 248 in this little forms and prayer book that is in front of you, page 248, Lord's Day 41. I'll say up front that I think in our day, in light of the second sexual revolution and all the things that have happened, we really are only talking about the sin of homosexuality. And I think that's been a big mistake in the sense that we have not gone back to the gateway of all sins that opens the door to all sexual deviance that follows. And that's why making sure we have a good understanding of the seventh commandment is the starting point to help us with this great issue, the issues that we're dealing with in our day. So the seventh commandment is important. It's the gateway sin. And looking at that tonight, we realize how important it is to study in our day and to recognize that throughout time the church has been rather over pious and quiet on these issues. where I've said at the adult Sunday school last time that we are being daily in our kids catechized with the new sexuality. And if we are not talking to them and as fathers and mothers helping them, we are doing a great disservice to our children. And I think this is important because you'll see tonight in Proverbs 5, it's a father talking to his son about these issues. So you have just a lot of practical wisdom even looking at the home in how Israelites understood the importance of fathers talking to their children about sexual morality and about their struggles. They're struggling with these things. And so that's what we're looking at tonight. So let's begin with Lord's Day 41, question 108 and 109, and then we'll read Proverbs 5. So please respond with the answer. What is God's will for us in the seventh commandment? That God condemns all unchastity and that we should therefore detest it wholeheartedly and live decent and chaste lives within or outside of the holy state of marriage. Does God in this commandment forbid only such scandalous sins as adultery? We are temples of the Holy Spirit, body and soul, and God wants both to be kept clean and holy. this is why God forbids all unchaste actions, looks, talk, thoughts, or desires, and whatever may incite someone to them. And now this is the word of the Lord from Proverbs chapter 5 tonight. My son, be attentive to my wisdom. Incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey And her speech is smoother than oil But in the end she is bitter as wormwood Sharp as a two-edged sword Her feet go down to death Her steps follow the path to Sheol She does not ponder the path of life Her ways wander And she does not know it And now, O sons, listen to me And do not depart from the words of my mouth Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house. Lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless. Lest strangers take their fill of your strength and your labors go to the house of a foreigner. And at the end of your life you groan when your flesh and body are consumed and you say, how I hated discipline and my heart despised reproof. I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin and the assembled congregation. Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely dear, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight. Be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. He dies for a lack of discipline, and because of his great folly, he is led astray. That is Proverbs 5 in God's reading there of his word. Well, tonight we take up a hugely relevant, important topic as we consider the seventh commandment, thou shall not commit adultery. Adultery, of course, is as the going definition as we understand it and as we'll look at from the Heidelberg is when a married person is sexually involved with someone to whom the person is not married. it is the ultimate act of betrayal it's the ultimate act of betrayal of the love that god intends for us to exercise toward the spouse that he chose us chose for us i think you know it would be wrong looking um just merely at the external of the commandment but that's what we're going to do from proverbs 5 but to place all the emphasis on uh simply the the external act of adultery. The real problem that the Heidelberg exposes, the real problem that Scripture exposes, you'll see this really strongly from Proverbs 5, is the attitude and disposition of the heart, which has big implications for us, especially as we have looked at the spirit of the commandment too. It was Jesus who said that out of the heart proceeds right up at the front adultery. Evil thoughts, adultery is right up there. And I want to ask the question, how do we get into such a sin as this? What causes this? Why are people willing to throw away everything for a moment of pleasure? And what are the consequences of that? Well, tonight I want to look at the way the scriptures dissect the human heart and this issue to have us think about really what Lady Wisdom is saying to us, what the Proverbs are saying to us, such an important book for wisdom to say how to express to us the folly of adultery what adultery does in somebody's life how it's utterly destructive way more than we have ever thought with the goal of course that by the end we would appreciate the positive dimension of the commandment that we should love our spouses as God has specifically designed and given them to us. I mean, that's a beautiful thing that Jesus said when he talked about divorce. And he said, listen, you shouldn't divorce because what God has joined together, let not man separate. In other words, God chose that person sitting next to you tonight for you. That's a remarkable thing. The message tonight is really fairly simple. God calls us to purity in our marriages because God wants our lives to be clean and holy. We're temples of the Holy Spirit. You notice that emphasis that came out in the Heidelberg tonight. And that's what we're going to explore a bit. And this is so important. The text that I have chosen is Proverbs chapter 5. And what a passage on the subject. I haven't done much preaching out of Proverbs. And I realized this week not only is it challenging, but it's so important for wisdom. And help for us in these times. And what a passage here on the subject of sexual immorality. What a passage to help us on the issue of adultery. And it's far-reaching implications all the way to the very things that we're dealing with today. What we have tonight in Proverbs chapter 5, if you're taking notes, are surprisingly, as always, three points. The warning against adultery. a consideration of the consequences of adultery. And then you'll notice he provides a good way to keep from adultery, the way out of adultery, the way to stay away from adultery. So that's what we're looking at tonight. First, this warning against adultery. This is one powerful passage. I think as you read it, you recognize how unique this passage is and how important it is. We've not spent much time with, but I trust you'll see its great importance for the Seventh Commandment, giving us biblical wisdom, all kinds of figures and analogies and helps to us of things that we understand to take the wisdom principles of the Bible and to apply them, in this particular case, to marriage. To marriage. We need a lot of teaching on marriage today that I don't think we've done enough of. I just inspired myself to a series, I think. But anyways. As we come to Proverbs chapter 5, the wisdom text comes to us in a beautiful way as a father speaking to his son about these issues. Sitting him down is the imagery and sitting his son down and talking to him about important issues of life and how important this is for us today. I mean, really, for young families here and for those training children, you couldn't be at a more important sermon. Can I say that? I just did. You can imagine a son. He's come out of his teenage years in Israel, younger than we're used to. He's ready for marriage. He's going to go out into the world. And this wise father, he's learned so much. he's a sage in Israel he's wise in Israel and he knows what's true and he knows what's good and he knows what's right and he's concerned so he takes his son and he sits his son down and he talks to him about one of the greatest dangers that he's going to face in life this is good parenting 101 this is the best premarital counseling you'll ever get the son's contemplating marriage ready to get married my son I've got something to talk to you about be attentive to my wisdom incline your ear to my understanding that you might keep discretion and your lips might guard knowledge in life son you're going to be faced with some serious choices and as a young man I want to talk to you about this the son hasn't really experienced life life gets hard these are the as Ecclesiastes will say the easy years of youth the father he's a good father by the way this is a good man who cares to instruct his son on these issues and I hope that inspires us to recognize how important it is to talk to our children about these issues the father has something particularly on his mind something that he's seen time and time again in the course of life in israel there is a particular temptation that the son needs to be aware of he needs to guard his notice that there um to be aware and to guard himself against comes out in verse three doesn't it for the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey. And her speech is smoother than oil. But in the end, she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. The father knows that in the course of his marriage, the son will be tempted to adultery. Happened to David. Solomon sure learned some big lessons with all these foreign women pulling his heart away from the Lord. There's a lot of wisdom here. Good wisdom. And this good wisdom, for it says to him, here you'll notice that there is a son, a father, there's a big temptation that I need to talk to you about. This is important that we sit down and you take notice of this. What is the imagery? The father knows that in the course of life there will be one who comes down his path who is an enticing immoral forbidden woman. I want you to notice how he describes her in this warning that he gives. The young man is going to be tempted to commit adultery. The language is somewhat graphic. Her lips drip honey and her speech is as smooth as oil. The sweetness of her kiss he's thinking about. The seduction that he's talking about. It's interesting that he begins with speech, doesn't he? Proverbs 5 captures this. I just want to read a little bit of it. It's in the same vein, the same instruction. Listen to it. I'm just going to read a little bit of it. For at the window of my house I've looked out through my lattice, and I've seen among the simple. I've perceived among the youths a young man lacking sense, passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house in the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness. And behold, a woman meets him dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart. She's loud and wayward. Her feet do not stay at home. Now in the street, now in the market, and on every corner she lies in wait. She seizes him and kisses him, and with bold face she says to him, I had to offer sacrifices, and today I paid my vows. So now I've come out to meet you, to seek you eagerly, and I've found you. I've spread my couch with coverings, colored linens from Egyptian linen. I've perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love till morning. Let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home. He's gone on a long journey. He took a bag of money with him. At full moon, he will come home. With much seductive speech, she persuades him. With her smooth talk, she compels him. And at once he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver, and as a bird rushes into a snare, he does not know that it will cost him his life. Wow. now this is important to think about God's will for us in the seventh commandment Heidelberg is so good on this that God condemns all in chastity that we should detest it wholeheartedly and live decent and chaste lives within or outside the holy state of marriage and anything else he condemns you'll notice here unchaste actions, looks, talks, thoughts or desires or what may incite someone to them of all the pornography today this is important in one figure this figure is an imagery here for us to to think about of strong desire in the heart that's fulfilled in anything he's using this what is a common scenario to us of a strong desire in the heart of anything that is sexually a moral that pulls us away from God's good creative design anything anything he's using the common scenario of of an unfaithful life he might say um tempting and luring a man to commit adultery and in that way it's meant to speak to all of us when you understand what the author is doing. Anything, you'll notice here, that is tempting in this powerful temptation of desire in the human sexuality into unchastity is the immoral woman that we are called to be on guard against. That can apply to the single, can apply to the married, applies to all sexual sin is and its lure is powerful and i love that our our catechism seems to focus on this and say this tonight but also particularly have to say this this applies to singles too now come back to the discussion the father says to the son this is a big issue son that you need to guard your heart on when you're asking the question why do people run into adultery it's a big question i think this proverbs 5 gives us a little psychology here an important psychology notice that the temptation is accompanied with the attention the moral woman gives. With her seductive speech, her words have flattered the man. He feels noticed. He feels valued. He feels appreciated. He feels desired. That attention awakens something in us it awakens it awakens the idea that there's something more that there's a more fulfilling love out there that i can achieve and and what happens as that is awakened is you'll notice here that what the father is saying to the son he knows it will awaken the desire of what she's offering him unbridled sex a psychologist once said the kiss that you can imagine making is just as powerful as the act of kissing itself adultery begins in the heart adultery begins right here in the heart and the desire imagined is just as powerful and sinful as the sexual act itself. And it's important to observe there can be a forbidden man in this way who seeks to emotionally entrap the woman. Since this woman's forbidden, the father knows the son might easily entertain the proposition, arousing in his heart the acceptance of her lie, that she can provide this happiness, that she can fulfill him, that she can provide this happiness that he has not pursued with his own life in the daily hardships of marriage. When people commit adultery, that's what we commonly know they express, this sense of a new vitality to life. What people are expressing is a short-lived dose of pleasure that numbs the pain of the sentence of death that we're all under due to the fall. If adultery worked, you know that the going rate is about six months for the affair. To throw away an entire marriage? You see what it is, it's a momentary dose of trying to numb the pain of life and our sin and living under the curse. That's why people say, I feel so alive. The mundaneness of marriage, the struggles with raising children, the hardships and discouragements that frequently come, the long-term commitment, along with what is often a lack of love in marriage, its absence, opens the door to that which, with great allure, offers a way to overcome the lifelessness that we're experiencing here on this earth. Life and marriage is hard. This is hard business. It's requiring. And after many years, what happens? You know, they say that a marriage goes through about the first 20 years, and in about 20 years, communication really is broken down. And it needs a reignition. We live in a culture today, this makes it all the more worse. It says, you know, you're really entitled to follow your desires. You're entitled to be happy. And what we all want and what we're all searching with, with this desire to have something more, is a sense of what many people have noticed, this desire for emotional connection, freedom, happiness, feeling alive. all this deadness. There's a one of something more than what God has provided in marriage to overcome this curse of the fall. The problem lies at heart, I think, of what we've come to designate as a midlife crisis, right? I mean, guys get to this and they still want the glory and then they go buy the Corvette, right? That's what we think. Proverbs 5, I think, is really helping us with this. At our weakest moments, son, be on guard. When love is absent in marriage and your struggle characterizes daily life and when you're weary and when you're tired, right there, all of a sudden, something forbidden will come. that will lure you away into one of the most powerful sins the Bible talks about, sexual sin. It'll bring you a promised release, but it will fail you. The path of adultery begins with this kind of unholy desire to become more fulfilled in love and in the attention of someone who's not our spouse. That's where it starts. The wise father prepares his son for what he knows will be a big test in life. when Eve pondered the fruit. Remember, this is just what happened with Satan. Satan comes in, and all of a sudden, here's this apple, and he begins to lure her with it, and all of a sudden, the thing is looking really good through that attention. So Eve did what? She pondered the fruit and saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes. And the tree was desirable to make one wise. It's so much better, was the temptation. But the author says, never, son, buy into that lie. It is not. So listen to the consequences, son. I'm going to tell you about the consequences of doing this. And now, oh son, listen to me. Verse 7. And do not depart from the words of my mouth. That's been a big theme today, hasn't it? Hebrews, Dr. Godfrey's Sunday school. Don't depart from the word. Keep your way far from her. And do not go near the door of her house. And listen to the consequences he breaks into. Lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless. Lest strangers take their fill of your strength And your labors go to the house of a foreigner. What is he saying? It's something very simple here. Something that you have to lay hold and think about, son. Adultery never pays out. God won't allow it, number one. But it will destroy you. And it will destroy everything good in your life. Everything. That's what he's saying. It will destroy you economically. it will ruin your livelihood all of your strength it takes away sin does that by the way sexual sin has the problem of zapping strength it weakens you it takes from you vitality isn't that ironic it promises you vitality and it takes your vitality I'll prove that in a minute second at the end of your life you will groan when your flesh and your body are consumed in other words this is a pathway to destroy your life and he's thinking seriously about the consequences of what it will do physically to people proverbs 7 says this with much seductive speech she persuades him with her smooth talk she compels him and at once he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver and a bird rushes into a snare. He does not know that it will cost him his life. And then he says, worst of all, it'll take your understanding. In the assembled congregation, it's the last place. You may notice he says that in Proverbs 5. In the assembled congregation, I am wrecked. How I hated discipline. How my heart despised reproof. You know what's interesting? Even in the secular world, listen to the testimonies of people who've done this and ruined their families, their wife, everything good. And they'll tell you, I should have listened. I should have listened. I did not listen to the voice of my teachers. or incline my ear to my instructors. I'm at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation. He's saying that this sin had utterly blinded him and hardened him to all instruction and reproof. I mean, that's what we see when people run in sexual sin. The last place they want to hear from, or the last people they want to hear from, are the elders. Has adultery ever paid out? God makes sure this sin fails people. God makes sure. it's often resulted in disease and death how many have lived and said this Bruce Waltke says although sexual morality today may not lead to slavery it still leads to alimony, child support, broken homes, hurt, jealousy lonely people and venereal disease and you never obtain the love you thought you'd get it certainly doesn't pay out because most importantly verse 21 for a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord and he ponders all his paths the iniquities of the wicked ensnare him and he's held fast in the cords of his sin he dies for a lack of discipline and because of his great folly he's led astray so what does the author do and what does the scripture do? What does the Heidelberg do to help us in the positive dimensions of this commandment? Well, it says we should live decent and chaste lives within the marriage that God gave us between a man and a woman. We should love that design. And that's where the author goes here. To keep us from adultery, he gives us a positive presentation of the beauties of marriage. A much better way, the father now says son, and he even uses erotic language in this. love your wife. The son should always look upon his wife and take delight in her as the gift of God. There's a dignity to that love. He says that here. There's a dignity to that love. You can't take that to the streets. That's for her. Listen to the language. Verse 15. Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well, Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely dear, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight, be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman embrace the bosom of an adulteress? What's he saying? Love your spouse. Enjoy them. All the energy you give to find love elsewhere in lust, what if you redirected that to love your spouse? I always like to think, you know, I said this up front, but the beautiful truth to remember, the spouse God joined you with was chosen by God for you. Love her. Sure, that requires spending time together. It inquires intentionality. It inquires selflessness. It requires sacrifice. But that's what servanthood is all about. And if we learn anything from Jesus, servanthood is the most fulfilling life. That desire for emotional connection is to be fulfilled there. I love that God speaks so beautifully here about sex within marriage. Your love's not meant for strangers. Your love, there's a dignity. That's cheap. Let her breasts fill you with delight. The father is encouraging his son to enjoy his wife, to understand her, to know her, to let his love be for her. She's beautiful. She's fascinating. She's lovely. She's God's gift to you. Love her. God provided for all sexual enjoyment to be fulfilled in marriage as we love our spouses in this good design that he gave. Can you imagine if society fulfilled this and we saw that everywhere? Can you imagine the lack of broken homes? Can you imagine how our police would have such an easier time? I could go right down the line here. Can you imagine what society would be like if we listened to this? Our love's not meant for strangers. In the mind or down at the local hotel. And that applies to every form of sexual sin contrary to God's will. says, why should you flee it? Because you're temples of the Holy Spirit. You've been joined to Jesus. You're in union with him. And because of that, you belong to him. And you don't want to bring anything foreign into that union. And because your marriages, sanctified by the Lord, are designed to tell a better story to this world. The story of the gospel. Your marriage tells the story of Christ's love for his bride, the church. He loved her, cleansed her, saved her. Our love is designed to tell a greater story. You know there's forgiveness with this sin. I've preached forgiveness everywhere for all these sins. You know that you can come to the Lord if you're struggling with sexual sin, and a lot of people here probably are, and you know what he promises? He'll wash you, and he'll forgive you, and he'll cleanse you. But the pathway out is to start with your own identity. This is an identity problem, just like all the other sexual issues are identity problems. You're trying you're doing this for you trying to create a new identity but you belong body and soul to jesus and your marriage is designed as a redeemed saint to reflect that love i love first thessalonians 3 now may our god and father himself and our lord jesus direct our way to you and may the lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all as we do for you so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints. One day, it's going to come. Jesus is going to come get his bride. And he's going to take his bride to himself. And what the apostle was saying to these Christians was, until then, increase your love for one another. abound in love for one another. And what an appropriate way to say, abound in love for your spouse. Be enraptured with her love, his love. And see the enticement of the forbidden woman as something that will never make good in its promise to give you happiness, but will make good in its promise to ruin everything that's good in your life. Son, says the Father, keep your heart from adultery. Amen. Heavenly Father, we thank you for helping us with the seventh commandment tonight. Such an important commandment. We realize that all of us have broken it for simply to look at lust for one another is adultery in the heart. With you there is great forgiveness so that therefore you may be feared. Forgive us for all adulteries in our life. Restore us and let us as believers in our marriages be sanctified and let us give ourselves more and more to love one another that we might have a good display and witness of the love that Christ has for His bride, the church. In our culture that's run so out of control in the sexual morality, we do realize this commandment provides us this platform to understand all of this. Thank you for giving us a scripture like Proverbs 5 through 7 that gives us wisdom. May your wisdom be in all of our hearts. May our children hear it tonight, our young people, and may we treasure your good creation for there is happiness, there is joy, there is fulfillment, there is emotional connection, there's everything that ever is needed that is provided and we thank you for that. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.