I invite you to turn in your Bibles to the book of Colossians, consider from Colossians chapter 3 this morning. We pick up with the second part of the sermon that we started last time a month ago when we were in this book on Christian families, the first part dealt with children and now we deal with parents and specifically what Paul says in verse 21 of chapter 3. Now this morning you may be at a stage in your life where you are not a parent but that doesn't mean you can just check out. God's word certainly applies to each of us at all times in our lives and so as maybe a young person a single person there's wisdom from God's word that applies to us and I'm sure you have maybe friends who have children family members who have children all of which you care for and you want to see do well and so this text certainly applies to you as well so Colossians 3 we're going to focus our attention on verse 21 but i'm going to begin our reading up at verse 8 of chapter 3 so chapter 3 of verse 8 beginning at verse 8 but now you must put them all away anger wrath malice slander and obscene talk from your mouth do not lie to one another seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator here there is not greek and jew circumcised and uncircumcised barbarian scathian slave free but christ is all and in all put on then as god's chosen ones holy and beloved compassionate hearts kindness humility meekness and patience bearing with one another And if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other. As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual psalms with thankfulness in your hearts to god and whatever you do in word or deed do everything in the name of the lord jesus giving thanks to god the father through him wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the lord husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them children obey your parents and everything for this pleases the lord fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged well we're all a part of a family to one degree or another and as family members we know how complex families can be and why why are families so complex well as i said last time it's because of sin and it's because of satan you see satan hates families i said that as well last time we were in this book satan hates husbands he hates wives he hates parents he hates children he hates families satan desires to destroy the family and that's why there is so many challenges and complexities and snares for the family today see the traditional idea of what a family is is all but vanished as a cultural ideal in our society today family is under attack isn't it the idea of what a family is is under attack children are under attack you see among the myriad of common, common temptations that our children face, which, by the way, have more access to our children today than ever before because of technology. Among those common temptations, there are also ideologies of sexuality and gender identity and wokeness that are actively pursuing the hearts and minds of our children today children are under attack parents are also under attack today parents in our society today are losing parental rights at a an astounding rate and maybe they're not losing them maybe parents are just giving them away in an effort to be compliant and tolerant of others parents too are under attack you see gone are the days when we as Christian parents could parent passively. Gone are those days where Christian parents could assume that their children were growing up in neighborhoods and in an environment free from the threat of those who are coming for their hearts and minds. Gone are the days when the only thing we had to worry about as if it was the only thing was physical harm coming to our children. Today, the ideologies and agendas are anti-militantly anti-Christian. Gone are the days where we could hide our children away from being exposed to such perspectives. Gone are the days of thinking as long as I keep my family away from the cities, cities like San Francisco, then my kids will grow up to be okay. They won't be exposed to that sexual revolution. Let me give you an example. As many of you know, me and my family were in Ripon, California, prior to receiving a call here in Escondido. Now, if you know Ripon at all, then you know Ripon is this tiny, quiet, simple little town in the Central Valley of California. It's an agricultural area. It's a place that I would describe as having a church on every corner. There's only around 16,000 people in Ripon. It was a safe place, family-oriented. It was considered cop land. It was a place of choice where neighboring cops, sheriffs, and firefighters chose to live. They chose to live in Ripon. Well, we lived in a cul-de-sac in Ripon, making it even more safe for us. And in this cul-de-sac, at various times, you could count 20 to 25 kids who would play in this cul-de-sac and in the yards. Small little rip-in. And there was this family there in the cul-de-sac that lived in one of the houses there. Had a sweet, dear little girl who played with my girls. But this family had two mommies. Two mommies. Now, I don't say that to demonize this family or to demonize these two ladies. We became friends with them. We would invite them to church. We'd invite them over. We'd share the gospel with them. I say this to say, in a place like Ripon, tiny, small little town, my girls at a very young age were exposed to the ways of this world. And they had to process how they were to relate to people who don't believe in the traditional biblical family. If that happens in Ripon, then really that can happen anywhere. Now, maybe you think you live in a safe neighborhood. You don't have neighbors where there are two mommies or two daddies. Well, let me remind you that there is social media platforms out there that are engaged on marketing towards the hearts and minds of your children. Platforms such as TikTok, YouTube, Instagram. If you remember when Rosaria Butterfield was here last year, one of the main points of her talk was that these ideologues are coming for your children. They'll try to convert your children. And they'll try to do so in a way that happens slowly so that you don't even realize it you don't even recognize it but their aim is to transform the heart and minds of your children that's the reality of the world that we live in today so as i said gone are the days of christian parents passively parenting gone are the days where we can simply ignore such things where we could assume as long as our kids were brought to church went to the christian school then they would be okay now christian parents should have never been passive parents in the first place and so this is maybe a wake-up call for us it's a good thing you see and christian parents should have never been passive parents because sin is not passive sin is active just as john owen says we either ought to be we either are killing sin or sin is killing us or as jeremiah 17 describes sin it says the heart is deceitful above all things desperately sick who can understand it the heart is active actively deceives and leads astray and that means our children are not passive victims of their own sin they're active participants in their sin their actions are a reflection of their hearts with which are actively sinful if you don't believe me just put two little children in one room together with one toy and see what happens trust me the kids won't go you have it no you have it no you have it if they're interested in that toy they will go for it and they will fight for that toy if you have children you know that the uh some of the first words that kids learn are no and mine it's an expression of their heart isn't it it's an expression of our heart so there was never a time that we as christian parents should have ever been passively parenting because sin is not passive and so today today more than ever passively parenting will leave your children vulnerable to the active and real threats of the world satan and even their own sin so we as christian parents we must be active parents active parents you see in a world like we live in today we aren't just raising children we're raising soldiers we're raising spiritual soldiers we're raising boys and girls men and women who should be ready for real life spiritual warfare now that's where we've always been but today that fact is never more apparent so how do we do this I think what Paul says here along with other passages aim and equip us to be active Christian parents those passages aid and equip us to be Christ-centered parents the Christ-centered parents that we are called to be but before we get into the passage itself this morning, I want to remind us of where we've been and how what Paul has already said in this book relates and applies to parenting. I've mentioned to you a number of times as we've studied this book that this is a Christ-centered book. This book makes everything about Christ. Chapter 1 teaches has that beautiful section on the preeminence of christ meaning that everything is about him everything is for him just as it says in chapter 1 verse 16 by him all things were created all things were created through him and for him he is before all things and in him all things hold together. Parenting was created for him and by him. Families were created for him and by him. And by his work, he has reconciled us to himself so that now we, as redeemed parents, families, children, we would no longer live for ourselves, but for him who has redeemed us. And so let me ask you, what is your life all about? What is your life all about? Maybe you're thinking about marriage. You're considering marriage. Is your life right now all about Christ? If your life right now isn't all about Christ, do you think your marriage will be all about Christ? Maybe you're thinking about having children. Is your life right now all about Christ? If your life right now is not all about Christ, then your parenting will not be all about Christ. Brothers and sisters, our lives should make everything about Christ. Christ calls us to deny ourselves, doesn't he? He says, deny yourself, take up your cross, take up your cross, which literally means crucify yourself and follow me. Christ lived a sacrificial life for us and then offered that life upon a cross for us. Christ sacrificed everything for us as his people. He calls us to now deny ourselves and follow him and the way that Paul puts that in Colossians is really in by what he says in chapter 3 verse 11 here in Christ there's no Greek or Jew circumcised uncircumcised barbarian scathian slave free but Christ is all and in all we can simply add to that parents moms dads children there is no mom or dad there's no father or mother christ is all and in all see the point that paul is making here isn't that we lose our ethnic background or our callings in life or our identities what he's impressing upon his readers and listeners here is that those those backgrounds those identities those callings are transformed in jesus christ they are to be lived out with him being made primary called to live out our lives as mothers and fathers with jesus christ at the forefront of our minds with his work at the forefront of our minds and that's what chapter three begins with doesn't it chapter three verse one seek the things that are above where christ is seated verse two set your mind on things that are above verse three put to death what is earthly in you. Verse 12, put on as God's chosen ones, I would summarize as the mind of Christ. You see, everything is to be about Christ, everything. Our children, ourselves, as mothers and fathers, our families, our lives. As I've said the last three times that we've considered from this book, Christ is the key. He's the key to a godly life. He's the key to a godly church. He's the key to a godly marriage. He's the key to a godly Christian family. Christ is the key. He's the key to all the commandments that we've been given as His people. We look to Him and the salvation that He has so graciously accomplished for us. And out of thanks and gratitude for that, we live for Him and by Him. And so, if you want to be godly parents, if you want to be a godly mother and father, focus yourselves on Christ. See, Paul is indeed speaking of a Christ-centered family here. That's the overarching theme of this book. Christ. Christ is all and in all. See, it's not enough for us to simply call ourselves Christian families. We need to be making much of Christ. We need to be making everything about Him. That's what Paul is pointing out here. That's why he says in verse 21, Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. What Paul calls us to as Christian parents here is active parenting. Not passive parenting and not provoking parenting. He puts in negative terms here in Colossians 3 what he says elsewhere in positive terms, like Ephesians 6, 4. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So the idea here is not only to avoid provoking our children, but to do the opposite as well, to do the positive work of loving them, disciplining them, or a better way of putting it, discipling them, instructing and modeling to them the ways of the Lord Jesus Christ. You see, discipline is not always a negative term. It's not always exclusively punitive or related to punishment. Like when we tell our kids, if you don't do that, I'm going to discipline you. When we say something like that, right, we're relating discipline to the negative to punishment discipline isn't always punitive and if that's the only way that we relate to our children along the lines of our instruction to them and if we're always or only punitive then we're breaking what paul calls us to here we are provoking our children which will will lead to discouragement but discipline isn't always punitive for example think of the discipline required in training maybe you've played on a sports team maybe you're an athlete or have been an athlete maybe you've engaged in some kind of competition in your life if you have then you know that each of those things require discipline don't they they require a kind of discipline if you want to do well what it is you're intending to participate in and that's why parents enjoy having their children in sports and athletics because those sports and athletics instill discipline in their children but it's not just those things that take discipline all of life takes discipline all of life takes discipline life requires practice it requires self-control it requires limiting yourself sacrificing yourself it requires structure and boundaries effort principles life requires discipline and as parents as christian parents we are to raise our children in the discipline of the lord the discipline of christ the discipline of christianity we are to teach and instruct them but not only teach and instruct but to instruct and model for them all that christ has taught or to give them through that modeling and instruction structure boundaries principles to live their life by according to christ and all that he has taught and the verse that should guide us here if you're thinking about it is matthew 28 we're all familiar with the great commission right make disciples disciples are those who have been disciplined in the ways of christ they've been instructed in the ways of christ make disciples teaching them to observe all that i have commanded you is what christ says and this most certainly applies to our children our children first and foremost are disciples they're disciples they're not servants they're not unhired hands they're not just responsibilities or inconveniences they're certainly not people that we should be striving to live through vicariously they're not the fulfillment of our heart's desires to have a home with two and a half children a golden retriever and that white picket fence our children are not idols they're disciples disciples of christ think about that for a moment your children are disciples of jesus christ you've been blessed with the opportunity and responsibility to disciple them in the ways of the lord jesus christ that's a rich blessing but it's also a great responsibility listen again to the way deuteronomy 6 puts it if you would turn with me in your bibles to deuteronomy 6 we read this section and the law section of our service such a good passage deuteronomy chapter 6 we'll just we won't read the entire chapter we're just going to read briefly verses 6 and 7 and as you're turning there verse 4 begins with the hebrew shema the confession the hebrew confession hero israel the lord your god is one love the lord your god with all your heart soul mind and strength and then immediately after it says to impress these truths the truths that have been covered and the truths that moses will go on to teach upon the hearts and minds of your children and this is what deuteronomy 6 says 6 and 7 and these words that I command you today shall be on your heart you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise do you note the the language of Deuteronomy 6 there the text speaks of a way of discipling our children that way is diligently diligently disciple your children impress these truths upon them diligently meticulously conscientiously intentionally purposefully methodically actively that's the way that we are to disciple our children actively and when when does Deuteronomy 6 say we should do all of this well listen again you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when when you sit in your house when you walk by the way when you lie down and when you rise up from a Hebrew cultural perspective there's no other time in between that essentially all the time all the time when you're sitting walking lying rising whatever you are doing wherever you are whatever time it is you are to be discipling your children along the way and that's what what this points out to us as christian parents is that christian discipleship is a continual task in the home is it not it's a continual ministry that we've been given as parents it's constant a constant engaging of our children we should do it all the time in every place see this is speaking of active parenting not passive parenting now i'm sure we all strive to have family devotions it's a fantastic thing family devotions are such a critical significant part of the spiritual lives of our families but here's the thing when family devotions are done and over discipling doesn't end we should be continuing to disciple our children discipling is ongoing it's continual and with this mentality in mind what we should realize is that everything is an opportunity to disciple our children everything is an opportunity to point our children to christ to make him all and in all that's the goal of parenting now we're all familiar with the fact that our children watch us they watch us right if that's a newsflash to you i'm surprised our children watch us they watch everything that we do they watch our actions our reactions they watch or listen the words that come out of our mouths they watch the way we relate to other people they watch how we are gracious at times to some and vindictive to others our children watch us and that's not only a matter of fact but it's a good thing it's a good thing that our children watch us because watching us goes right in line with discipling them we want them to watch us as we look to christ as we model christ now indeed there are times that we wished they would stop watching us there are times that because of sin we're ashamed that they have seen us respond react act certain ways but even those moments when we fail in our christian lives those moments are opportunities opportunities to model repentance in jesus christ you see another truth that should be obvious to us is our children know our sin they know where we struggle they know what we wrestle with they know our sin because they watch us we shouldn't kid ourselves and act as if our kids aren't aware of that but here's the thing how are we going to react to that truth to that reality how do we react to the fact that our children know our sin do we try to hide it do we try to cover it up act like it didn't happen just excuse it forget about it i hope not because they're watching us do that as well if that's how we react to our sin then they inevitably will react in the same way and we won't be disciplining them or discipling them in the ways of christ we will be discipling them in our ways, in sinful ways, in ways that put ourselves before them, in ways that put ourselves before Christ, in ways that put ourselves before anything else. But when we parent in a Christ centered way, we don't shy away from the fact that we too are sinners. We acknowledge our sin and we instruct our children through modeling before them that sin should not be covered up instead it should be acknowledged it should be confessed it should be repented of it should be turned away from killed and mortified so that even the sinful things that we do are opportunities for us to continue to disciple our children it's in those moments when we realize our sin and our children see that that we have the personal opportunity to yes humble ourselves before our children humble ourselves see christian people are people who in humility acknowledge their sin confess it turn from it and seek the forgiveness and assurance that there can be in jesus christ you've all probably seen the bumper sticker which says christians are not perfect we're just forgiven and that's true we're not perfect we're forgiven but you see that reality reality acknowledges that we are sinners who need forgiveness we're not to self-righteously hide our sin we're not to hypocritically act as if we don't sin again if we do that we will be impressing something upon our children but that's the way they should grow up that's the way they should act and so again as christian parents even sin is an opportunity an opportunity to bow before our holy perfect god seek him in the forgiveness that we have in his son jesus christ it's interesting but isn't that what paul does paul does it at different times but one that comes to mind for me is romans 7 at one point in first timothy paul calls himself the chief sinner but in romans 7 he talks about how he still as an apostle doesn't do the things that he wants to do and continues to do the very things he doesn't want to do and then at the end of that chapter he makes this very pointed statement directing his listeners his audience to jesus christ he says wretched man that i am who will save me from this body of death thanks be to god through jesus christ our lord god forgives in jesus christ god has delivered us from our sin and the punishment that our sin deserves through jesus christ there is forgiveness in christ we need that forgiveness our children need that forgiveness we need to model this truth to them as we ourselves struggle with sin acknowledge that sin turn from it and look to christ they need to know this in a real, personal way. Not just in a way where they know the answers to the questions that we ask them. They need to see this modeled as they are being discipled by us, trained by us. That we too struggle with sin. We too wrestle with sin. But we have a Savior who forgives us of such sin and you know what's beautiful about this when we do this our children will begin to see us and themselves as sinners who need christ they'll begin to see in a very personal way their need for jesus christ is there anything better as parents is there anything better that we would want our kids to come to realize but that they need jesus christ as we model humble faith would just not hide sin but acknowledges it our kids love for jesus will grow because they'll see jesus as he really is the savior of sinners and you know another fruit that will be born from this will be the way that we begin to relate to each other as parent and child. No longer simply as parent and child, but as fellow heirs in Christ. As people who collectively, together as a family, hate sin. Hate it so much that we work together to fight against our own personal sin and we share in the hope that we have in Jesus Christ. When that happens, The relationships that we have between us and our children will be transformed. No longer solely a relationship of authority and submission, but one of care and compassion, love, respect, trust, intimacy. See, Christ-centered parenting transforms the relationship of parent and child. It's certainly active. That relationship today has been mocked. It's joked about. It's described in caricatures as being oppressive. A relationship that Satan is trying to destroy in every single way possible. But when we look to Christ, that relationship will not be destroyed. It will be transformed. Transformed for the good of our children. Transformed for the good of our family. transformed for the glory of christ where he will be made all and in all then and only then will the relationship between the parent and the and the child be one of discipleship where we actively instruct and model to our children in every possible way at every time even with sin itself see brothers and sisters this is what it means to be a christ-centered family to be christ-centered parents to make christ primary not us not our children christ where we do everything for him and the glory of his name let's pray father we thank you for the wisdom that you grant to us through your word wisdom to follow jesus christ our lord wisdom to fear you lord over and above man over and above even ourselves lord father i pray for the families of this church father our we live in a world that is nothing short of chaotic we as parents as families need all the wisdom that you could grant to us all the grace that you would grant to us and so we ask for that lord strengthen us equip us provide us with all that we need to make much of christ our Lord. We pray this in his name. Amen.