well I invite you to turn tonight again to Deuteronomy chapter 6 if you're visiting we are working through a series on human sexuality since it's such an important series in our time we're nearing the end of it this is the second to the last sermon and I was ready to move to the very last question answer of the catechism that I wrote on human sexuality I found some in my study so if you don't have one see me after and I will get it for you but it's just an overview based on the Heidelberg Catechism that helps us to look and apply the issues regarding human sexuality and obviously you know in our day we're in the middle of a great sexual revolution that's not waiting to happen it has happened and so giving attention to this is necessary and tonight we are looking at God's will for training up of children and of the responsibility of children to honor their parents and in their conduct. And so we'll be focusing on those two question and answers on 39 and 40 if you brought it. The next time we'll consider to close this out on how do we witness to those who are living in these sexual sins. We think of the issues today regarding marriage and LGBT plus and all these things we'll be addressing. How to witness to those and talk to those who are living in these sins and see nothing wrong with it. And that's next time. But tonight, question 39 before I read the scriptures, what is God's will for parents in training children in proper sexuality? Three things. First, that parents model before their children a loving relationship and also hold marriage and honor as it was designed by God. Second, that parents speak to their children appropriately and sufficiently about biblical sexuality and proper sexual conduct as designed for marriage realizing that our children are facing daily misinformation on sexual sexuality third that parents guard their children from all forms of sexual morality and pornography and overseeing the use of technology social media and other mediums that promote through cultural peer pressure a different sexual ethic than what god made is good in creation and then 40 what is god's will for young adults and honoring their parents in sexual conduct. Three things. First, that young adults honor their parents by maintaining sexual purity and chastity. Second, that young adults refrain from pushing upon their parents and adopting the ungodly sexual norms of the culture. Third, that young adults take delight in the Lord and in their identity in Christ as singles, waiting patiently for the spouse that God prepares for them. And then in Deuteronomy 6, I thought such an important passage, we would read it together again tonight this is a little bit more topical obviously but the principles of Deuteronomy 6 are absolutely crucial to this sermon so beginning at verse 1 of Deuteronomy chapter 6 now this is the commandment the statutes and the rules that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you that you may do them in the land to which you are going over to possess it that you may fear the Lord your God you and your son and your son's son children and children's children as some translations have it, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you all the days of your life and that your days may be long. Hear, therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them that it may go well with you and that you may multiply greatly as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you in a land flowing with milk and honey. Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. and these words that I command you today shall be on your heart you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates and when the Lord your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers to Abraham to Isaac and to Jacob to give you, with great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant. And when you eat and are full, then take care, lest you forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. And there we'll end the reading of God's Word. Well, tonight we are really continuing. This is sort of part two of what we started last week on considering the family, the importance of the family as God designed it, and in a way that maintaining the family in a way that brings honor and glory to God, such an important subject for our day that needs a lot of attention. We look last time at the family and some of the cultural shifts that we have seen in society and maybe i could begin with that imagery that i set before you last week where we moved and talked about extended families i remember we talked about extended families that used to be the sort of norm where it was around the table and you would have grandparents maybe great-grandparents and it was important for extended families as they were training and as a unit and as those families formed together and formed the church the church was as strong as the family but why has the church been so weak today why has the church struggled today i think it has a lot to do with the family we moved from extended families to a sort of cultural norm as important as the nuclear family is mom dad and in american culture 2.5 kids the nuclear family in american life had its own sort of cultural adaptation and that had major change away moving away from the extended influence of extended families to shrinking down to just the influence of the nuclear family as important as the nuclear family is and then we became very individualistic I can't get that scene out of back to the future out of my head when the father rolls out the tv for the first time look at it roll and they get and they put it right in front of the family and everyone then was now looking at the tv as they watched Jackie Gleason, Why They Eat, and that was the new norm. Today, the table is no longer the focus at all. Look at the shifts. We have pursued rugged individualism. Everything's been for the self, the autonomous self. Marriage is about only my personal fulfillment, and so divorce rates have skyrocketed, and everyone now is tucked away, not away from the extended family that's out the nuclear family somewhat out we know that's hated today now everyone's tucked away in their corner with their own screens and this has had devastating effect on the church this has had devastating effect on the development of society and we looked at a lot of that last time so that now whole society has made us dependent on this screen that we carry in our pockets and that we now can't do anything in life without isn't it something how addicted and tied we are to this screen your whole life depends on it now unless you're 90 so but think about the influence of that all of this has greatly impeded what is most important and now our children are given cell phone access unhindered to all kinds of ideologies and images on the internet and with group peer pressure we are witnessing many covenant children just carried away into these things and we throw up our hands and say what has happened what has happened a lot a lot has happened it's a big subject i think you see and in many ways as hard as daniel was this morning i think i'd rather preach daniel than this subject because you see how personal it all gets and how important it is but we've got to address these things and the specific responsibility is my goal tonight of parents and especially with regard to training of children in the face now of the new moralities that is in front of us the sexual revolution that you're living through and the responsibilities what are the responsibilities of parents and what are the responsibilities of children in this whole arena because the focus is the arena of human sexuality but obviously this extends way beyond that to the basic responsibilities that make society possible the basic responsibilities that build a strong church why we have struggled in the church today why the church is emptying out today i think while we've had endless research on this i think can all be traced to the breakdown of the family the goal will be if i can simply to have you think about these things tonight and together obviously we need the lord's help we have to be humble in this nobody has all the answers i don't have it's not like i do this perfectly but god has given us instruction in his word that helps us in the training of our covenant children and that is something we have to give attention to if you do any present research on the state of our youth right now in society it's a sad state of affairs which is absolutely consequential to the preserving of a nation the numbers and i won't go into tonight are staggering about youth depression children suicide rates we've never seen this i i i go through the negative first and i'll get to the positive i promise my daughter said at college almost all the students she knows are attending weekly therapy sessions counseling sessions because of stress because of depression rates because of addictions and because of problems. I think that affects me the most, and that's why I have a heart for this. Maybe the biggest heart I have in this whole series is for our children. Jesus was obviously concerned about it. So concerned that He said He attaches His heaviest judgment to those who harm our children. It'd be better for a millstone to be put around their neck and for them to be dropped in the midst of the ocean than when you hurt one of these little ones that's how serious Jesus is about it think of gender reassignment happening in our culture and how fast they're pushing all of this with the twisted idolatries of our time and this is exactly what's happening hormones can be given now at 14 and surgeries at 15 all of this along with the neglect of the children has produced a generation of hopeless young people think of all that even coming out of covid and all we've heard is nothing but negative negative negative the world's going to hell in a handbasket they say that's all they've heard so where's hope in this and look at the state i think paul captures it people in the last days will be lovers of themselves lovers of money boastful proud abusive and listen to this disobedient to parents ungrateful unholy without love unforgiving slanderous without self-control brutal not lovers of good treacherous rash conceited lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of god we have all these programs in society right now this society is so burdened with programs to try to stop these terrible trends of what's happening to our children and our young adults well at the end of the day the only real true way to solve this is to again think especially for us as God's people as parents to take seriously the responsibility to love our children you know to train our children to give our time for our children and that's what I'm really focusing on tonight that important responsibility that's in front of us and then the child's responsibility and how they respond to all of this think of that wonderful verse in proverbs that's probably at times troubled us because we haven't seen the fruit from it that we expect to see but train up a child in the way that he should go and when he's old he won't depart from it it's a wisdom verse it's not automatic nothing in this life is an automatic i wish i had the key to everything if i just turned the key everything would work sometimes the car doesn't start does it well that's that's not automatic but it's the general rule that when we give ourselves to train up our children and we give ourselves to to the lord's ways and we give ourselves to these things the general rule is that is going to be so embedded in their hearts and minds that it's going to have effect on them maybe not right in the moment but down the road and that's i think what the proverb is encouraging us in we may not see the immediate results but you're investing you're investing in something very important and i think of that direct commandment do not withhold correction from a child that's the lord's will for us we're really speaking of discipline tonight and And I know we lived in a time and culture where a lot of parents have bought into the idea that any form of correction is now abuse or discipline. We don't even like the word anymore. And I understand the challenges of that. I can tell you what's going to happen to a home that is without discipline. You will raise children who will not be taught to know what it is to submit to the Lord. that's the purpose and one of the crucial aspects of parenting in all of its different forms is discipline think of the heidelberg in the fifth commandment that we are to honor our parents and all of those in authority why should we honor our parents and all those in authority because god himself is choosing to rule us through them when there's good parenting when there's parenting that cares about us and that's an important point and I always like to say and to remind us that if we lived in the old covenant we would be very uncomfortable with some of the laws that came in the old covenant think of this very law in the old covenant if a man has a stubborn and a rebellious son who will not obey his father and his mother and when they chastise him he will not even listen to them he's a glutton and a drunkard so this is persistent persistent sin the young man knows better has been trained correctly and the parents ought to come along and say son you cannot do this there are consequences to this you know what they did in the old covenant the son would be stoned well we're in the new covenant and in the new covenant god's mercies in christ are overwhelming but that doesn't throw out the principle of discipline that's what i want to have us think about for a minute you remember eli and his sons remember his sons the sin of the young men was very great before the lord they were involved in all kinds of things he said to them why do you do such things for i hear of your evil dealings with all the people know my sons for it's not a good report that i hear you make the lord's people transgress if one man sins against another god will judge him but if a man sins against the lord who will intercede for him nevertheless they did not heed the voice of their father eli neglected the responsibility to properly discipline his sons he was willing to say you're wrong he was willing to point out the sin which even today that doesn't happen as much but he was unwilling to do anything about it and god said you're honoring them more than me so when it comes now to the issue tonight of what i'm focusing on on on human sexuality how are we to think about in the training of our children the discipline of our children and what i did in the catechism for you is write down three verbs that I hope would be a help to you to sort of think about the parental responsibilities that we have. Again, I speak to me as a parent right now. These are things as I was writing this, I thought these are the most important things that need to be in the Gordon home. And notice here that you'll find three verbs if you have that catechism in front of you. If you don't and you need it, see me after. It is first to model and then to speak and then to guard. This is what I was working with as I thought about parental responsibilities. And the first thing we can do, the best thing we can do for our children as parents is this. Model a loving marriage to them. I believe when we think about discipline, we always think of discipline what we say punitively. And I think we have to remove that thought. Discipline always has as its goal restoration and help and training. And one of the best disciplines that we can give to our children is simply the fulfillment and the giving of ourselves to love our spouses. Now you say, well, that doesn't seem like such a big deal. It's a big deal for our children. What is God's, I wrote, will for training children? First, that parents model before their children a loving relationship and hold marriage in honor as it was designed by God. What is the culture doing with marriage? They're ruining it. This is going to have unspeakable consequences in coming generations. I had a very wise pastor say to me one time, ministry's hard, life is hard. If you love your wife, Chris, if you love your children, and are committed to Christ and his church, that's a huge success. That's a huge success. Think about that. Love your wife, love your spouse, love your husband, love your children, and be faithful in your calling in life. That's a wonderful pathway that the Lord has given. How many marriages instead, though, are full of fighting and separation and no love and no growth, which then leads to divorce? And who considers the children in all this? God's will for training of children, first and foremost, is simply husbands to love our wives as Christ does the church. Imagine the model of that for children. Imagine what that does for children today. It's so important. Inestimable effects on the child's life. What did Jesus say? If Jesus could say to us as his followers, by this all men will know that you're my disciples. How will people know your Christianity is real? How will people know your Christianity is not fake and not hypocritical? What did he say? By the love that you have for one another. Well, that's a great witness, said Jesus. Imagine and just translate it then. Husbands, love your wives as Christ does the church. Spouses, love your husbands. By that, when you love one another the way that the Lord is calling you to love and you will fail, that's why we come and confess our sins, your children will know that you are true disciples. So love is the first great discipline in the family. And that takes active pursuit. That takes work. It takes listening, it takes caring, it takes shepherding, it takes time, love. Second, that parents speak to their children. Don't underestimate this one. I think this one is so important. Speak to their children appropriately and sufficiently about biblical sexuality and proper sexual conduct as designed for marriage, realizing that our children are receiving daily misinformation in this arena of human sexuality that's why deuteronomy 6 is so important and these words which i command you today shall be in your heart the word has to dwell in your hearts richly and and and the way that that will show itself dwelling in your heart that it's true within you is that you're not talking about the ball game and the sports thing and the and and going out riding on the four-wheeler and doing all those great things that you want to do those are important things but that the primary passion of the heart is to believe these things so much so that you teach them diligently to your children and talk of them when you sit in your house when you walk by the way when you lie down and when you rise up remember the context of that why did the lord want that done because pharaoh the last thing he asked before he let israel go let said you can leave your children but you go see there's a target on them and the passage is saying the way the lord protects and shields the children is through the speech of the parent speaking about these things as rev stromberg last sunday night said i almost wanted to walk up after your sermon and put two chairs up here so we could have a dialogue on these things and that would have been fun what he said was something so important as we talked about this he said you know speaking with your children doesn't always have to be this formal thing it's that it so fills our speech that when we're in the car with them we're talking to them about what's most important we're talking we're training them we're giving them wisdom we're talking to them about the lord we're talking to them about the most important things of life doesn't mean we can't talk about the other things but that that's primary it can happen in this car it can happen going to the store it can happen going to coffee one of the most important things we can simply do is talk to our children do you know that parents spend less than seven minutes a day this is the stat in communication with their children? That means that in one week of life, the most children get from their parents on record, at least according to statistics, is a half hour of direct talking to them. Think of what's coming at them. You know, the My Little Pony television show has a homosexual couple on it. It's not stopping. Most of their friends who they come in contact with, if their parents have no conviction on these things, they have no conviction on these things. So that's what they're hearing from them. And if you fit the stat and speak about 35 minutes to your child, do we ever talk about issues like this? These are the uncomfortable issues. You know, we've thought that the one-time talk about the birds and the bees cuts it. If we've even done that. I find in counseling, now in premarital counseling, most parents never, ever, ever talk to them about a proper biblical sexuality. The days are over of our pious silence. We can't afford it. It's our responsibility to talk to our children because an entire culture is trying to catechize them you say well how do we do that well i wrote a catechism for you for this end to go through the main issues to talk to our children at the christian school many of the young boys are stuck in pornography did you know that god created sex to be good and right in marriage good and healthy within the context of marriage we shouldn't be ashamed of what he made as good that's important then that we give them a proper now i said that you know in the school some i don't know how many are involved in this but I think we have to have our eyes open that our young men are struggling with these issues and our young women and just like anything what's the goal to talk to them not to condemn them but to help them the goal is giving them gospel the goal is giving them encouragement the goal is leading them in righteousness the goal is helping them not to condemn them but to show them the right way and to show the mercies of the lord and that's why i say when speaking we also have to make as the fundamental object of our speech the gospel parents have a responsibility to teach their children the gospel one of the best ways we teach them the gospel is to confess our own sins to admit that we're wrong on things yes there's discipline but to remember our children need the grace of god in christ too you know sometimes we can simply be i i've seen this propensity in me sometimes we can simply be legal parents what do i mean by that legal parents meaning that we're always throwing the law at them we're always throwing the don't at them but the speech has to include the compassionate merciful heart of Christ's forgiveness that we've enjoyed you know I told you the story of my grandmother who you know came her father was an immigrant from he was a Russian German he was a hard man and grew up in the Dakotas and never once never once did he tell her that he loved her. And she grew up having a hard time knowing God's love. See, it's important that we speak to our children these things. And finally, that parents guard their children. So models speak and guard their children. It's important to guard them. And as I said here in this last question, and answer the second question 39 guard their children from forms of sexual morality and pornography overseeing the use of technology social media and other medium mediums that promote through cultural peer pressure different sexual ethic than what god made as good i always think of daughters in this regard the father's the protection of the daughter you know until until, and we know this in culture, until the young man comes and asks a father for the hand. That's such an important thing, isn't it? Practice. He asks the father for the hand because the father is given to protect the daughter. Parents have this great responsibility to oversee the things that would be harmful to them and it's it's amazing today how much to keep a child happy parents will say nothing and do nothing and guard nothing if adam in the garden had risen up and crushed the head of the serpent you know which was his duty to protect this is what christ did for us he crushed the head of the serpent you know think of where we would be today this includes all the pressures that pull us away from let me let me speak just for a second on expectations for the family there are a lot of expectations on the family today in our culture in our community we are a heavy expectant community of duties and attendance of everything it's it's i've noticed this in 20 years of ministry in every single event at our christian school and in our our our events whatever they are, sporting, sporting events, you name it, plays, dramas. People lay constant expectations on you to attend everything and fall apart if you miss a concert. Let me say this clearly. Your first priority is not to make everyone else happy. Your first responsibility is to your family to train them up and if it's going to sacrifice the table at times it's okay to miss it priorities in the face of pressures are so important now just to close here this is a lot of application what is god's will for young adults and honoring their parents in sexual conduct. The first is clear that as young adults we maintain sexual purity and chastity as young adults. Parents should be honorable for a child to desire to honor them. In other words, young adults should know why this matters from parents who care. And I read the statement last week of J.A. Alexander in his wonderful book on family worship. Imagine the child who contemplates going in a wrong direction and rebelling. And before that child is a father who constantly leads the family in prayer and is on his knees for him. Alexander says the example of family worship imprinted already upon his heart and the prayers that have constantly been offered to God on the child's behalf are like arrows in the heart of the youth. The child says Alexander is forced to say, how could I offend? Notice the kind of father this is. Against this good father. And that should be his view of God. Against this good father who wrestles on my behalf. How could I be careless for my own soul when he loves me and is concerned that much for me? So that's important, isn't it? How should children honor their parents? How should young adults honor their parents? Well, thinking of young adults, we live in a culture that is so sexually active, the concept of virginity is just mocked. Well, God's way is always better. And the Lord calls us, notice this, to keep our lives pure. And if we are young people involved in sexual morality that way, pursuing it that way, we're dishonoring our parents and we're dishonoring the Lord. And think about your future. You're going to wear a white dress one day. That's important. That's important. Second, that young adults refrain from pushing on their parents and adopting the ungodly sexual norms of the culture. That's a big one. There's so much peer pressure today. And then parents are pressured to say nothing. Because, what can they say? Because so much pressure has been put on them to say that is not what the Lord is calling us to do. Finally, that young adults are called to take delight in the Lord and to enjoy your walk with Him. That's such an important one to encourage you about. There's a lot to say, as I said, in the status of being single as He calls you to wait upon Him. If it's your will to be married and you desire that and that hasn't happened yet, keep this in mind. God's preparing your spouse. And His timing is right. That doesn't make it easy, but it does say to you, your life right now is really important. And He wants you to enjoy your faith, enjoy your walk with Him, grow in grace, serve in His church, these sort of important things. And I close by saying all this matters tonight because we're his separate people. He gave Christ to die for us, to forgive us. He loves us. And he promises to give us the grace of the Holy Spirit to fulfill our common commitments and his commands for us. Charles Bridges once said, when God gives a commandment like this, he will give a sincere servant grace to honor it. thus a parent ought to cultivate cultivate the exercise of parental faith expecting the fulfillment of the parental promise as confidently as any other free promise of the gospel in other words he's encouraging parents in this believe these promises train your children in the lord to know the lord and children honor your parents in the lord for this is right i still remember every time i was disciplined my mom would read that to me i got so tired of hearing it every single time and here i am now preaching to you the same thing so the lord was faithful may our homes be places of peace and of joy and the holy spirit may god forgive all our sins for we fail in many ways don't miss that the gospel says good news for you even when you've messed up things severely when you come to him broken and contrite he will wash away all your sins and he also loves to help his people picking them out of the pig sties and the messes that we've made but may we say with joshua as we sort of conclude this section in our study tonight as for me and my household in a culture that's gone crazy we will serve the lord and may god's grace by god's grace may we do that let's pray heavenly father help us for we're weak give us the strength and wisdom to lead our families well to train them in the lord uh that there may be that we may have god-fearing homes for we know that when the home is right and the family is healthy the church will be all the stronger. Bless us, O Lord, and help our families in this place. And whatever areas we fail and have sinned, forgive us. Give us the grace of your Holy Spirit that we might order things aright in our lives, bringing you glory. For we confess, O Lord, your way is always the right way. When we have gone our own way, we've made a great mess of things and made life hard on ourselves. Thank you, O Lord, for your word that gives us guidance and light and makes our paths straight. Order our homes for your glory. In Jesus' name, amen.