tonight i invite you to turn in your bibles to first peter chapter 3 we're reading at verses 13 through 17 and uh if you're visiting tonight uh we are concluding um a series that we have done on human sexuality in our day living through the the sexual revolution that we are and we come to what is really the important question and answer the last one little catechism that i wrote i do have a stack of these in my study so i have some so please see me after if you'd like them and um we can go get those so but this is question 41 tonight i'd like to read the very final question of the catechism that i wrote on human sexuality that really is dealing with witness that's the right um note to end the catechism with and the question is how do we love those who live in sexual sin that's important distinction living in it apart from any repentance and justifying it and the answer is we should not avoid or shun those who are mastered by sexual sin instead we should speak the truth in love about sexual sin repentance and faith in christ give witness to the deliverance god gave us from our own sins and perform acts of kindness by our godly living we should seek to win over our neighbors to christ and with that tonight is first peter chapter three at verse 13 this is the word of the lord now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good but even if you should suffer for righteousness sake you will be blessed have no fear of them nor be troubled but in your hearts honor christ the lord is holy always being prepared to make a defense or to give an answer to him who asks you for the reason for the hope that is in you yet do it with gentleness and respect having a good conscience so that when you are slandered those who revile your good behavior in christ may be put to shame for it is better to suffer for doing good if that should be god's will than for doing evil and may the lord bless the hearing of his word tonight well tonight we uh conclude our study in human sexuality we have indeed covered a lot of ground and this is sort of a been some time picking this back up again as we conclude this series on this last note of witness but looking at the movement itself we've looked at all of the the challenges that have come with this we've tried to dive into this difficult as it has been to understand the movement to look at all the crucial questions of the movement coming with identity and gender confusion and marriage and all these things that that have come at us that have sought to to change the good design that God put in place that creation for our our benefit but I think we have to keep in front of us one of the main purposes that we have in understanding all that's happening and giving thought and reflection to all that is happening giving serious thought to it because the issue that is before us is how to help people out of these things i mean that's an important question and important issue that we have to to tackle to think about how to help people out of of these things and we've already looked at why that's necessary so i hope i've laid that foundation as to why people need to be delivered out of it but tonight it has everything to do with christian witness christian witness in other words a lot of people talk of evangelism i think witness is a great word in addressing this subject we tend to think of witness or evangelism as sort of these one-off conversations about how to tell people how to be saved and so we have made this somewhat of a burdensome conversation and a burdensome thing as if i think it was dr godfrey said some time ago god gave the great commission so that we would all be distressed about this right no of course not but we carry this burden with us how are we to help people out of this there's obviously a lot more to it witness today has everything to do with understanding the challenges and the different ways in which darkness has overcome people's lives and we've got to think about that which requires in many respects today not just simply handing out a track and thinking that that's going to really work for people they're tired of sort of approaches of i've said before um you rarely see today people coming to the door anymore because everything's a sales pitch everything's a sales pitch you're gonna have to know people and get to know people and help people through these things but how the darkness has particularly overcome people's lives and have the concern to give an answer for the hope that is in you that's peter's language i'll come back to that but that's the goal tonight christ left us here to be witnesses that's essentially why we're left here when jesus said you are my witnesses father i i pray that you don't take them out of the world but that you keep them from the evil one the purpose for life the purpose is because he left us to be his witnesses because he's gathering in his elect from all four winds of heaven he is saving to the ends of the earth he is gathering a people to himself and he does this through the witness of the church through the witness of his people now that's the goal tonight what does that specifically look like in the face of of the sexual revolution obviously there's many ways you could go with witness and the different challenges of people who who are who are living in particular sins in their lives but a few of you came to me this morning and already said i'm grateful that you are addressing this to son tonight because and i know i knew what was coming my son or my daughter or my grandchild has chosen to live in this and i don't know what to do i don't know how to address these things and maybe you're worried about that tonight maybe you're a grandparent and you have a granddaughter who has chosen to live in one of these letters and has chosen to pursue that as their life and identity well what i want to do tonight is is think about a practical look at sort of christian witness on these struggles and the basic point of course is that that's really up front the most important thing is simply that we care that we care about these things god calls us to be faithful witnesses and help people see why following jesus christ matters why it's so much better we've got to have a reason to provide that for people we've got to believe those things ourselves we've got to we've got to be able to show in our lives why this matters for people and that it's actually affected us and changed us for it to be a blessing to them and that there is real freedom in this real freedom in this and that brings me to this final question to answer tonight that i drafted how do we love those who are living in sin notice that i um i use the word love in the question and answer because there certainly um our responsibilities when it comes to our christian witnesses to those we have an opportunity to influence and speak the truth on these issues there are two kinds of i think ditches two ditches today that we fall into when it comes to addressing sin in other people's lives the first ditch is that of what is really just compliant submission on these issues i think today you know when it comes to the issue of sexual immorality we are catechized on the concept of love and love is taken and love is abused and love is misunderstood and love is applied in ways that the scriptures do not use love. So we're told that love is done when we evidence or support somebody by saying or doing nothing or acting as if the problem doesn't exist. That's not love, of course. It's not love. That is complete and total compromise in the face of pressure to tolerate sin. and that's what makes it hard because what do we do about relationships what do we do about those whom we know who are pursuing these things how do we handle that love is not sitting around of course and hoping someone will change we just hope obviously has a lot to do with prayer but love is not inactive when you hear the modern approach to to love what they're simply saying is don't say anything don't judge me leave me alone and those are the terms upon which our relationship can exist those are the terms on which our relationship can exist so long as there is no continued threat to what i have chosen to do so they have set the terms of the relationship you have to understand what's happened. The relationship has been set that way. It's been framed that way. It's a covenant. For you to have a relationship with me, you have to either accept or say nothing about what I do. See how challenging witnesses is in all of this, right? So we think in order to keep the avenues open, we don't want them to be lost. We don't want to drive them away we don't want to be a catalyst to make things worse but what we have to realize up front is is that it's wrong it's a wrong way to look at things to begin with if someone has chosen a path of unrepentant sin that's a path of being lost already do you understand that do we appreciate that if you've chosen to justify living in unrepentant sin and rebellion against god that person is lost right now that person is not found right now they are lost and the relationship has been severely compromised because there's been a decision on their part to depart from something that they know is right and have pursued now that they know is wrong this is why james says my brothers and sisters if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back see whoever know this whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins so that person has been saved that person has been delivered from their lost choice that they have made to go into the pigsty the first ditch is to accept that lie that the only way the relationship can be maintained is if you agree to a covenant of silence or tolerance on the matter that's the first ditch of air in this those are terms we can't accept that's what makes this difficult and we'll talk in a minute about how to handle that the other ditch is complete avoidance that's the other ditch so we say this person has chosen to live in disgusting perverse sins i really don't want anything to do with them and i think that that is sometimes how the church has been viewed in dealing with the sins of the culture just keep that stuff far away from me i'm good you know there are a lot of people who do think that way and i think it's hard for to be fair for older generations look at the witness they had to deal with in the 60s you're dealing with with woodstock hippies maybe you're dealing with certain things that you know didn't progress to the degree of things today that's a real hard pill to swallow for an older generation that looks at this and says i can't even believe it's got to this degree leave that witness to the younger generation i don't know how to even deal with that i don't even know how to speak to those things further it gets more complicated when it comes to those who know better and have been raised in the faith and adopted the cultural views of the sexual revolution as opposed to those who don't know any better see this comes with a lot of levels of concern here discernment and how to address people where they are in other words how do we respond to those on the inside and how do we respond to those on the outside there's a different response and that's a an important distinction to work through paul paul does that in first corinthians five i wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people okay not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral or the greedy and swindlers or idolaters in that case you'd have to leave the world so how we are to respond to those of who are actually in the world is different is what he said i'm not saying don't associate with with the worldly people who have made choices to live this way no because then you'd have no witness then then you'd have to leave the world then you have to huddle up like monks then you'd have to to do that that kind of stuff that's not what i'm saying we dine with the tax collectors and sinners we we witness to the tax collectors and sinners this was jesus jesus was was constantly ridiculed for this that fellow hangs out with the drunkards that fellow hangs out with sexually immoral people who's constantly beat for this this is an important distinction he makes an important distinction there you'll notice this in verse 11 but now i'm writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy an idolater or slander or drunkard or a swindler don't even eat with such a person so he makes this distinction there that there are those raised in the church who claim to be christians who know better and decide and say i can be and live any way i want to live and don't tell me that's not christian that that's a different kind of response paul says i mean what do we do with a covenant child who knows better and was raised in this and claims to be a christian and lives in these things what do we do paul says well that fellowship that koinonia that bond that you have as brothers and sisters in christ you can't just act like it's all good because it's not they know that what they're doing is wrong that's different and there has to be an appropriate response on our part they were raised better they profess faith they knew the truth and now they've chosen total darkness now that doesn't mean shun see this is the heart see the wisdom in this doesn't mean shun them it doesn't mean never have anything to do with them it doesn't mean never speak to them and there are some churches that have fallen into that it means that the relationship is not the same as the fellowship the koinonia you have with your brothers and sisters in christ when somebody says i'm a christian and i can go live any way i want and be that so you see the the wisdom that has to be in witness when it comes to this and that's what i want us to think about here is how we approach these things and how with all that qualification in the background that's why i said how do we love people then who are choosing to live in sin and when i say live in sin i hope i hope it's clear all of us are sinners all of us sin all of us do pretty bad things there's a fundamental difference repentance is a change of mind there's a fundamental difference from saying i agree that what i'm doing is wrong and i am repenting of that i am fighting that sin i am hating that sin i'm going to battle against that sin and i i i may struggle i may fall i may sin and i come back to the throne of grace and confess my sins and he's faithful and just to forgive me my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness that's that's right that's good that's the goal the response of hey back off you're judgmental don't tell me to i can do i can live any way i want that's the kind of thing of what we're talking about living in sin unrepentant and not caring about the law of god or caring about the will of god and choosing the path of sin and justifying it with whatever amount of justification somebody wants to give so i hope that's clear in this so the question then is how do we love people who are living in sin? How do we do that? And the first thing I said here, which generally applies in all cases, we should not avoid or shun those mastered by sexual sin. That's important. In none of these scenarios, even if it's someone who knows better, we're not simply avoiding and shunning at all costs. We're remembering the goal what's the goal why would we take a stand why would we say no i can't have the fellowship that we once had i can't act like this is okay why would we say that that's wrong as hard as that is well the goal is not to simply avoid or shun people this is why jesus was was out as i said with great sinners and tax collectors one thing is clear from our lord his whole ministry was to seek and to save that which is lost that was the heart of his ministry and so the larger reason for our involvement in people's lives is to love them the way that we're called to love them and desire for them to know the truth and desire for that truth to set them free as it has set us free. That's why I said caring is half the battle. Nobody can say, you know, I'm just not, I'm not good at this. I'm not good at witness. Nobody's good at witness. I'm a pastor and I'm not good at witness. It's not about being good. Half the battle is simply caring for the lost. Half the battle is simply caring for somebody who's in it. So what is the responsibility when it comes to witness on these things? well as i search the new testament i see two things to do when it comes to helping people out of paths of sin like this and and notice what i said here how do we help what i said here in the catechism catechism is we should speak the truth in love about sexual sin repentance and faith in christ giving witness to the deliverance that god gave us from our own sins part of the great challenge with witness is the sense and this idea in evangelism that what we are supposed to try to do is convince people to follow christ and that's going to come with a nasty confrontation and therefore the whole thing is sort of assumed to be if people are in this in this walk and doing these things any sort of approach is going to be a nasty confrontation and an abrasive confrontation over their life and that's where i want to say that's that should never be on our part sure there can be confrontation there's rebuke that paul talked about that's one of the elders responsibilities when it comes to these things rebuke exhort um it may happen in response to our concern and care but that's not what we're doing in the sense of having a nasty abrasive confrontation with them in that way it may come out that way but the point is it's supposed to come out in every case of addressing somebody's sin did you notice how many times it says do it with a spirit of gentleness every time when witness comes across as sort of us versus them it'll never work it's just it's it has to be us for them and helping them and that's why i say one of the most powerful ways of witness is what do we think of witness it's to tell them what god's going to do for them not first the best way of witness is to tell others what god has done for you this is what jesus told the demoniac guy had been cutting himself up in the tombs had chains on him no one could bind the man he was demonic depressed um possessed nobody had the strength to set that man free nobody jesus comes to the catacombs and comes running and jesus sends the swine down the hill you know the story the imagery after that is really powerful all the people are standing there deathly afraid if this guy has this much power he has that much power to change somebody's life i think they were afraid because they wondered what it meant for them the demoniac sitting there he didn't want to leave his savior and jesus said to him i want you to go tell others the wonderful things god has done for you that's witness that's witness you know paul was on trial for his faith he did this three times he told his own story he told his story of deliverance he rehearsed how God blinded him on that road to Damascus and scales fell from his eyes symbolic of regeneration and how the Lord delivered him and now he's a preacher to the Gentiles God gave him eyes every one of you have that story you have to have that story you have to have that story that you've been redeemed you have to know what you've been saved from have you ever repented of anything can you tell someone about that do you have witness of god's deliverance in your lives from any form of sexual sin or are we too embarrassed it's just it's all over the scripture are we too puffed up with pride and and that we can't even talk about these things you better have a deliverance story to be able to help somebody in your own life surely you can speak of faith in christ surely you can speak of what he's done for you surely you could tell somebody else how god delivered you that's basic to christianity think of paul think of paul this is everywhere for i you have heard of my previous way of life in judaism how what did i do i intensely persecuted the church of god and tried to destroy it i was advancing in judaism beyond many of my own in my own age among my own people and was extremely zealous for all the traditions of my father's. Here's a story. I was in the church for a long time and I just played the tradition game. But when God, who set me apart from my mother's womb and called me by His grace, grace given to me before time began. Oh man, that's a story. The hard part is just getting over feeling like a fool, right? Just getting over feeling like a fool. Learning what it means that our speech needs to be seasoned with salt and grace. There was a man I knew at one time. When you talk to him, he was so seasoned with grace and full of his speech and grace. You had a sense that he really cared about you and wanted you to know what he did. And everything in his speech seemed to have that aim, you know. We get together, and not to chide, I'm just as guilty of this. We talk about everything else. We talk about our jobs, we talk about sports, we talk about money, we talk about economy, we talk about politics. It's almost as like we're embarrassed to talk about our faith. We speak about the most important things in life. When it comes to witness, it begins with prioritizing what is most important. People make excuses all the time, you know, to not do something in life, right? You might think of an event and the right response is, well, people usually get to where they want to go. And they go and do what they want to do. Even when they say they're busy all the time, they always get to where they want to go. They always get to where they want to do. You know, that's just the reality of people. Well, people also in reality talk about what is most important to them. What touches their real experience. Think of Peter. You want to go somewhere else? How could we? You have the words of eternal life. Where else are we going to go? I want to talk about that. So that's the first thing. It's the first responsibility. when you look at witnesses, is to speak of the things that you know. Let that light shine before them. That speech should fill us. But second, this is why I cited 1 Peter, always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you for the reason, for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander there's there's such an important important verse for the second great responsibility here's i think we're at least historically for me i've been wrong about witness the new testament across the board assumes that people will be coming to us and asking questions to which you have to say if we're never getting any questions why not why not if you don't know anyone in the world you see if you're not making any efforts to get any questions there's a reason you're not getting questions the new testament assumes the questions will come it doesn't present witness as if we're forcibly pushing ourselves on people i think sinclair ferguson made this point so well when he preached here not so long ago it's just right they see something about us they see something about the way we we respond they see something about our lives they see something about who we are and they ask questions which presupposes that you have to be somewhat out there what do they see well as we speak it's i just had this i just had this this is not in my notes so i'm always in danger when i do these things a guy at the gym comes up to me chris now this is really this is not anything that you can jump on but he says chris there's something about you i feel like when i'm around you i get a lot of light like oh well that's i don't know if that's true but he says you know he says i have some questions can we meet i said handed to me you know so we go to coffee name's tommy and we go to starbucks and he says you know he says i'm i'm really struggling with life i've lost my job he says how do you how do you maintain how do you how do you keep so so up he says do you have a bible so i gave him a bible he's been reading the bible he had questions well personally i think this is why hospitality is so emphasized in the new testament it's bound up with witness to strangers but as i said in the catechism our own deliverance we perform acts of kindness by our godly living we should seek to win our neighbors over to christ and notice what they're asking about though notice what peter says they're going to ask about peter says they're going to ask about hope my sin's ruining my life spent a lot of time looking at the sexual revolution i've gone through the statistics i've gone through what's happening this movement is unsustainable this movement is unsustainable you can't redefine the family and think there won't be catastrophic results god ordained it people will be unfulfilled people will wreck their bodies some will become sick people in general will find that trying to build a home this way will not work in other words it's going to break down society in ways we've not seen you can't destroy marriage and think it's going to go well you see why i said one of your greatest witnesses at the moment is not rocket science it is in your ever station you are in life to walk with christ and to maintain that witness love your wives husbands wives love your your husbands trust christ enjoy him don't walk around like a grump you got a reason to rejoice every day you get up commune at his table make that a priority be at church be fed with the word enjoy your families live in the joy of this comfort Heidelberg Lord's Day 1 your witness will stand out in this culture like nobody else's and God will put struggling people in your lives with questions you're not going to have to go find it it's right in front of you right now are you happy does your marriage work how did that happen what is this forgiveness thing you know most of the people around you don't even have a bible that witness starts at home right with our own children they're already there are we giving time to answer them the questions they have for the hope that they need this is our great responsibility to those in sin notice in none of these calls is there ever an angry approach or an arrogant one but a kind and a merciful one because where would we be without the grace of god in our lives i also want to say this right after peter said this give an answer do it with gentleness and respect same thing in galatians brothers if anyone's caught in trespass you who are spiritual restore such a one with gentleness lest you be overtaken in some trespass we are just as prone to this well that has to be our approach and peter says so that you have a good conscience that when you're slandered this is important to close out you have to accept today and we've had a hard time accepting this you have to accept if you're going to have any backbone in you and you're going to have any courage in this faith that you are going to be hated for your convictions that you are going to be called a bigot that you are going to be called in this church environment of being arrogant that you're going to be called narrow minded that you're going to be called as advancing hate speech well sometimes i think we're so concerned we can't even get past the idea that our convictions are called mean and so we say oh just love just love as if that's magic you will be called this well our responsibility still is to do it with gentleness and merciful, being kind, compassionate, slow to anger with our Lord. That's why Peter says, make sure your life is in line and you're witness. We're living in hypocrisy and our failures can be pointed out. And if they can be placarded before everyone else, that will be an easy way for them to disregard our entire message. Don't give it to them. He says that those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. In other words, we are so walking with our Lord by grace, repenting of our own sins, trusting in Christ, being kind and merciful and compassionate, offering hospitality that their hatred of our beliefs exposes their own shame. Finally tonight I say this, remember the goal. We are seeking to win over our neighbors. i put in that last line to christ he has that much power do we believe that there is freedom with him there is power with him there is forgiveness with him we want the best for people we have a burdening heart for people that's why you know i've said before when i went into ministry and they asked me that question when you're at the mall chris what do you see? And I knew exactly what the questioner was asking. Dead men walking around. They need life. They need salvation. May we have confidence in who we are as God's people, believing that Christ said, you shall be my witnesses to the ends of the earth. May we be people of truth. May we be people who tell the truth. And by God's grace, may they and those whom God puts in our lives be people who are set free as we have been set free let's pray to the Lord gracious heavenly father help us for we're weak and we are so thankful for the privilege of being identified and taking on the name of Christian as a christ follower help us oh lord to speak the truth in love give us wisdom for this takes a lot of wisdom to know how to address people in their different circumstances and scenarios but may we care and we pray that you would put people in our lives lord who we can tell how you have delivered us and we can give an answer for the hope that they need and oh lord that they would ask the right questions again maybe we need to talk about the right answers for people to ask for the right the right questions so turn our speech again to what's most important and if there's any oh lord in our families in our lives friends neighbors who have chosen this path we pray oh lord that through our response in the way that you open these doors but not being compromised you would turn them back to you help us oh lord for we're weak and may this place be filled with those oh lord as we're speaking the truth of those who have sought and found by your gracious sovereign hand salvation in jesus christ our lord in his name we pray amen