Tonight, we turn in the scripture to 1 Corinthians chapter 7, 1 Corinthians chapter 7. And if you're visiting tonight and you're looking for that, that's found on page 1214 in your pew Bible. As I said tonight, we're looking at the section here on marriage and divorce and remarriage. And so we will, last time we looked at the first nine verses, tonight we're picking up at verse 10 and reading through verse 24, though only I will be addressing 10 through 16. So let's give our attention tonight to the word of the Lord. To the married I give this charge, not I, but the Lord. The wife should not separate from her husband. But if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. and the husband should not divorce his wife to the rest i say i not the lord that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him he should not divorce her if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her she should not divorce him for the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him. this is my rule in all the churches was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised let him not seek circumcision for neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision but keeping the commandments of god each one should remain in the condition in which he was called were you a bond servant when called do not be concerned about it but if you can gain your freedom avail yourself of the opportunity for he who was called in the lord as a bond servant is a freed man of the lord likewise he who was free when called is a bond servant of christ you were bought with a price do not become bond servants of men so brothers in whatever condition each was called there let him remain with God and there is the reading of God's word well tonight we turn to a subject that obviously presents a great challenge for any pastor to address today it's the subject of divorce and remarriage and I should say up front as we're looking at this tonight that it's it's really not difficult in looking at the clear will of God on this. Did you notice how clear that passage was? It really was not unclear. In fact, that's not the problem at all. In what I'm about to present to you, you, Lord willing, will see that the Lord's expressed will on this issue has been made very plain. The Lord has declared it plainly. Accepting that word, Accepting it is where the challenge really does lie. Why? Because we live in a day when divorce rates have hit an all-time high. They say that something like 60% of all marriages today will end in divorce. Whether that seems high to me, but I don't know. A lot of people are divorcing. And all of us have loved ones, maybe parents, maybe you've been through this, maybe you're divorced, have loved ones who have divorced, and these circumstances are emotional, these circumstances are painful, and they carry a lot of baggage in people's lives that people don't get over. They just don't. And that's where the challenge comes tonight. I'm called as a pastor, you understand, to present the clear teachings of the Lord on this particular issue, on the principles of God's Word. And I want you to know tonight that I'm not beginning with the what-ifs. I'm not starting with that, nor should we. The messes that we create in this world and what to do about them should follow what is the clear teaching of the Lord, right? But we always want to talk about the exceptions. We always want to begin with the exceptions. We want to address the what-ifs. In fact, undoubtedly as I present this, undoubtedly as I present this tonight, your mind is going to be turned away to somebody in your life that's close to you that has been divorced and you will say, but, but, but, but, but wait, this circumstance was different. This circumstance was different. It happened this way and that's why it went on. The divorce problem is so epidemic. What we've done in the Christian church to satisfy ourselves is now make the exceptions the norm. And because the exceptions are now the norm, the original norm as God gave it is now the exception. Everything's been reversed. We've heard of so many now with our own personal justifications for doing it, the impact of God's Word and the commands anymore aren't even felt. They're not felt. And it's a consequence, as I outlined this morning, of living in a non-judgmental society, in our society where no one takes accountability for their actions. Everyone is a victim. Nobody is at fault. I mean, this is our day. And then you have the problem when addressing this issue of all the extremes in the church in response to the divorce mess and the rate so high today. I mean, there have been so many radical extreme views in the church on this particular issue as if this is the unpardonable sin that we end up making it that and then people don't even know how to even deal with because of that approach of the church the mess that they are in and the guilt that they experience. And so the church sometimes comes up with ridiculous proposals to solve the problem. I'll look at a few of those. Imagine, though, a church today, aside from that, that wants to stand on God's clear teaching on this issue. Imagine that church, a Christian couple, comes to them and says, you know, we're divorcing. And the leadership says, you can't. And they do it. Do you know how difficult of a circumstance that is today? What do you think is going to happen to that church if they say no and they go through discipline? You are going to be tarred and feathered. You're going to be called every kind of name under the sun in the community. That's what's going to happen. And that's our day. Well, I intro that. I present that intro tonight. I want to ask you to set aside all of the what-ifs. And if you can, listen simply to God's clear teaching on it. Understand why it matters so much to Him. I mean, that's one thing we should all come away with this. Why does this issue matter so much to Him? Where the sin lies, where we've fallen and come to Him, He's always held out even to the divorced that if you confess your sins, he's faithful and just. Forgive your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Now, it's important to be reoriented tonight to what Paul is doing in this particular text, what he is answering. This is not a comprehensive teaching on divorce and remarriage. In fact, I said last time, if we forget that, we land in all sorts of problems. Paul is answering specific questions. Paul is answering specific questions that the Corinthian church had proposed to him and you saw that in verse one in the very first verse of chapter seven he says now concerning the matters about which you wrote to me that it's good for a man not to touch a woman this had become in corinthian culture one of the greek ways of preserving the soul remember this the radical self-denial of bodily urges was necessary to maintain the soul's purity. And after extensive teaching on sexual immorality, he addresses the opposite end of the spectrum of many of them saying that sexual relations with a woman is defiling to the body, so we should just refrain. Well, Paul now corrects all of that, remember last time, and on the contrary, he said, no, no, no, you've looked at that all wrongly. That's a marital responsibility. That's something that God created good and healthy for the marriage relationship, without which you bring serious problems into the marriage relationship. It's a blessing. And so he addressed how we are to think about the marriage relationship. He addressed how we are to think about the intimacy in the marriage relationship. And he encouraged in that section those who desire marriage. Now he turns to another issue that the corinthians had obviously asked him about or that flowed from that it seems that many of them were accepting the celibacy view that refraining was good that it was necessary that it was pure it was undefiling and that marriage then was no longer necessary paul will say that later of some who are abstaining from marriage actually he'll say that to timothy remember and and he would answer that by saying listen god created that to be enjoyed but that led to the thinking in certain pockets in the early church that led to this thinking that you could terminate the marriage relationship why not if celibacy is the answer why do we need marriage paul's already addressed that issue he's already put that out of their wrong view of intimacy and he has a few things that he wants to tell them now with regard to marriage so what he does in verse 10 if you'll notice is that he says something that immediately might have puzzled you a little bit he he shifts and he's the first time he says this is the lord's command not i but the lord and then he says this is not the lord's command but mine you'll notice that in verse 10, that what he begins with here in verse 10 is restating something that the Lord had specifically commanded. And then he provides further commands from the apostles on this particular issue that the Lord did not address. So look at verse 10. To the married I give this charge not i but the lord i'm what i'm doing here says paul is i'm restating for you the command that came from christ on a particular issue it was very clear among the apostles what jesus's teaching was on divorce that was not unclear now the gospels probably had not been written by this point so there was a body of teachings they knew listening to the lord's ministry they sat under it they knew what was the expressed will of god concerning this particular issue and he states it he summarizes it there in verse 10 and 11 did you notice that the wife should not separate from her husband but if she does she should remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband and the husband should not divorce his wife. I believe it's important to say that verse 10 uses a word that I believe should be translated as command. That's the punch of this. This is a command of God. Later in the book, Paul's going to speak about those who reject the clear commands of God and he's going to say, listen, if anyone is spiritual, if you call yourself spiritual, if you want to say you're a Christian, you better acknowledge that the things that I'm writing to you are the commands of the Lord. If you want to be ignorant, then go be ignorant. But you better acknowledge that what I'm saying is God's commandment. So His commandments matter a lot to Him. And sometimes, you know, we know that there are ideas pushed on people that aren't commandments. Maybe the history of the church demonstrates that. And there's been no real agreement on a particular issue. and the debate never ends on a particular issue. But that's not the case here. That's not the case here. This one's clear. Do you notice how the apostle presents it? Here is the expressed will of God on this issue. Now listen to it. The wife is not to depart, and the husband is not to divorce his wife. If for some reason this happens, she is not free. go get married again she has to always have as her goal reconciling with her husband now i don't think that's unclear to you i think that's really clear that's a direct statement from the lord here's our problem anyone who has a loved one who's been divorced or is divorced is right now saying wait a minute wait wait wait and i'm saying no listen to the lord why do we always do that with god's commandments why do we always stop and immediately want to go to a breaking of this the first thing we do is go to the exception and you've lost something you've already lost it you don't do that with the sixth commandment of course you don't you don't ever say god says thou shall not murder and you say well well well you know in this particular case it was all right you don't do that with adultery you don't do that with those kind of commandments you do it maybe with the fourth commandment we do it with the fourth commandment you know we break worship all the time but but when it comes to this kind of command that has been so broken and accepted to be broken culturally the first thing we do is get irritated and defensive about how we can justify what has been a problem and and what somebody and a loved one has done and i say that because then we erect the wall and we're unable to hear what the lord is telling us tonight what was christ's command that paul's talking about paul's interacting with something paul's thinking about something it was something known in the law even from creation creation law that moses would take and apply and and the apostles knew about something that had happened very clearly in jesus's ministry himself in matthew chapter 19 uh you're you're welcome to turn there if not i'll be working through this for a minute but i want you to think of the scenario here multitudes were following Jesus. And the Pharisees had come up to him to try to test him. And remember their question, remember their question, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? Loaded question. Why? That was the teaching of the day. The rabbi's teaching under the famous Hillel said that a man might divorce his wife if she spoiled his dinner by putting too much salt in his food. Men like salt. If she walked in public with her head uncovered. If she talked with men in the streets. If she spoke disrespectfully of her husband's parents. Let me make sure I get all that. If she spoke disrespectfully of her husband's parents in the husband's hearing. If she was a brawling woman, if she was a troublesome woman, this was all in the law that they had super added over the law. It was even done if a husband found a woman who he found was more attractive than his wife. You believe that? Demosthenes, and I quoted these last time, but I'm going to quote them one more time for their impact just so you feel the culture again. We have courtesans for the sake of pleasure. We have concubines for the sake of daily cohabitation. We have wives for the purpose of having children legitimately. Seneca, women were married to be divorced and divorced to be married. So it came to be under even Jewish rules and laws that a husband could divorce his wife for any cause. A wife could divorce her husband for no cause. Now you ask, why does Paul address women here? He should be going after the men, right? I mean, that's my first reaction. Here's what I believe happened. A woman is not to depart from her husband, and if she does, she can't go remarry. She needs to be reconciled. These men were treating their wives so terribly, and this has been a tragic thing that's happened in the history of the world. Men have been very abusive to their wives, and men have been terrible in treating their wives, that the Greek idea of celibacy afforded a way out. It gave them the way out. I don't have to put up with this. I don't have to do that. And in the cruelty, a lot of women departed, and this is where it's hard. Because the general rule, again, the general rule we have to feel, If that departure happens, if there is some circumstance where it happens, and Paul's not condoning that, but he's saying if that departure happens, you need to remain unmarried because you need to have as a goal reconciliation with your husband. Now, who is he talking to here? I think it's important to say he's talking to Christians. That's a much greater weight, isn't it? While there are exceptions, the thrust of the New Testament's teaching on this is that no, not to happen. And I believe that's why Peter even wrote and said in 1 Peter 3, wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, in other words, even if your husband's a bum, that in the relationship, you, without a word, without being boisterous and loud and fighting and angry, that you, without a word, he may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your very calm, godly, chaste behavior, accompanied with God's fear. Again, how many what-ifs would come out of that statement right now? I want to say this. It takes a lot for a woman to leave a husband, by the way. In general, you have to really push a woman hard and be very abusive to get her to the point of walking out on her man. Honestly, when that happens, there has been so long and so much damage done, it just finally hit the breaking point. And at that point, it's like the Titanic, raising the Titanic to get her back. Are you feeling the weight, though, of the general rule? You have to feel it. Paul says, this is Christ's command. where? What was Christ's command? Well, when the Pharisees came and tested him, asking him, can we do this for any reasons? What did he say? He said this, have you not read that God made them at the beginning male and female and said, for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So then they're no longer two, but one. What did he just say? That's a really powerful statement, isn't it? God created the marriage relationship at creation and i love to think it of it this way adam didn't go out searching for his bride god brought the woman to him and he didn't intend to create the male and female ultimately he intended that they would become husband and wife thus becoming one and jesus says then you need to rethink about what think what marriage intentionally was from the beginning they were never created to be separate but they were created to be married remember we went over the exceptions of those who are single last time so i'm not leaving you out of that but but jesus was saying god made a union god made a union and think of the union with you and christ that that already he's talked about well when you're looking at christians and you're talking about a Christian marriage, he's already told us that our marriages specifically are designed in our union with each other to design, to reflect a union with him. And then Jesus gives the great command. Here it is. What God has joined together, let no man separate. God hates divorce because it separates what He specifically unified. And it assaults what marriage ultimately with redeemed eyes we understand is intended to teach us. And I think it's important to say of how much higher the plane, How much higher the responsibility, how much higher the Christian is to think about marriage. You've been sanctified, he says. You've been washed. You've been justified. You're united to Christ. The world doesn't understand that. The world doesn't have that. Their marriages break all the time. They shouldn't break. They're fallen. But Christians have this higher standard because you've been redeemed. You've been bought. And divorce would specifically assault what the redeemed marriage is designed to reflect and tell to the world. Let no man separate what God has joined together. You know what happened after that? You know what happened when Jesus said that? When the people listened to Jesus' teaching, it caused a lot of conflict all around. The Pharisees, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You wait up, wait up, wait up. Moses allowed it. Jesus is sorry. He did that because of the hardness of hearts. That was never God's intention from the beginning. The full weight of it was thrown. Listen to the effect on the disciples. If such is the case of the man and his wife, it's better not to marry. Now why do you think they said that? It's better to just be celibate. Jesus says not everyone's gifted for that. Everything their culture, here's the point, everything their culture had succumbed to, everything that was being tolerated in Jewish law, everything that was being accepted and justified in the culture with divorcing for just any reason, all of the exceptions, everyone had come to think that were normal to marry life Jesus just said are wrong and he threw it all out in one swoop you feel it and they're thinking to themselves they were so uncomfortable with that teaching they're thinking if it means that much to God which we had no idea it meant that much to God we better not even get into this no doesn't every father want to tell his daughter before they marry that you know doesn't every son and daughter don't we want them to understand that about marriage paul here is addressing the lord's command the thrust of it is don't divorce don't do it it's not a option to escape marital obligations so what is our position on divorce We hate it like God hates it. That's Paul's first answer. Now he provides a second clarification in verse 12. To the rest, I, not the Lord, say, that may seem strange to you, he's now saying as this is something the Lord never addressed, I'm going to expand this as an apostle inspired by the Holy Spirit. I'm expanding and giving you something the Lord never specifically addressed. Here it is. The scenario of someone who's become a Christian and now finds themselves in a marriage situation where they're married to an unbeliever. They were both unbelievers. One becomes a believer. And here's the question. That's got to be the one time that the Lord will allow for a divorce, right? Why? Because you see, if you join your body to somebody pagan, here's where you see how strong the Lord's view is on the bond of marriage. If you join their thinking, if you join your body to somebody pagan, you've already taught us about our separateness as Christians. We've got to break that relationship. And so what does he say in verse 12? To the rest I say, I, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. Now, it's important to say he's not giving permission to marrying an unbeliever. 1 Corinthians 6 will later address that. He's going to say, believers should never marry unbelievers. You can't do that. As a reference point, I had two grandmas who did that, by the way. I had two grandmas, both Christians, both married non-believers, and their life was really hard. One was down at the bars. One was with other women. And that marriage ended in one of the most bitter divorces you could come to. Hard on the kids. She chose to marry an unbeliever. The other, remarkable, for years he sat and picked up my grandma taking my dad and the brother to church. You're going to that church again, aren't you? Doing that church thing again, aren't you? One day he got off the couch and he went. He was converted. That's a radical exception. That's a wonderful thing to happen. But you don't want to do that. You don't want to go through that kind of life. Both of my grandmas, if they were standing here tonight, they'd tell you, don't do it. That's not the circumstance here. The circumstance is one becomes a believer and the other isn't. Paul says, even then, I don't want you to divorce. You see how the Lord views divorce even then? Paul's saying, your separateness extends even now to your spouse. That's how God views you and your marriage. They were worried about contamination in the marriage, even in the sexual relationship. Now bringing an unbeliever into that union would contaminate everything. And Paul says, no, no. The Christian united to Christ in marriage has a neutralizing effect and brings them into a sphere of holiness so that they are set apart. And their set-apartness trumps the uncleanness of the unbeliever. Calvin, the piety of the one has more effect in sanctifying the marriage than the impiety of the other in polluting it. Great way to say it. And Paul says, and that's even true of your children. That's how God views them. If there is a believer in the marriage relationship and those children are set apart and they are his children, that way, what happens? They are entered into this sphere of influence into which the favor of God comes upon them as a believer resides in the household as they are children of a believer. So, is there an exception? Yeah, says Paul. If the unbeliever departs, in that particular case, the person's no longer in bondage. They can remarry. They're free. I should add, Jesus did give an exception, didn't he? Jesus did give an exception. Very clear exception. The marital infidelity and that kind of wrecking of the marriage, when there's that fidelity and the marriage bond is broken, that that is a legitimate exception for a divorce. Do you feel the sweeping teaching tonight of the New Testament on the issue? That's really what I wanted to do. That God intends that when we enter into the marriage, He wants us to understand this is for life. We don't feel that anymore. And we've got to feel that. We've got to teach that to our children. The impact of what we consider it is strong. If Paul is saying that a believer and a non-believer together shouldn't even divorce, how much worse is it if two believers divorce? You see? When both have been sanctified to the Lord. Now, why does this matter tonight? I'm going to close with this. Most divorces occur for what reason? The other night, I'm sitting at my kitchen table and I asked my children, I asked them, we were reading through this passage, and I said, so what is divorce, you guys? And they sit there, and my daughter says, Dad, it's when two people argue a whole bunch and then run away from each other. I thought that was a really good answer. Why do I think that's a good answer? Notice where she started. She, at her age, has already run into friends who weep and cry about them. She's in fourth grade. And I thought, yes, divorce is the final to extreme of what is an ongoing problem in the marriage relationship. It's not the beginning. When some couple comes and says we're divorcing, that's the worst situation for the church if they've never heard about that because that's not the beginning of a problem. That's the end of a long problem. And now you've got to try to pick up the thesis. Most divorces that we justify today are created, why? Selfishness. One of the parties is no longer willing sacrificially to make it work. And part of sanctification is learning to be satisfied with your current station in life. Isn't that the next section? And to realize that God has ordained these circumstances for our own well-being. Yes, put it together from this morning. Yes, your marriages are going to have seasons of adversity. And it may be an awful season of adversity, but you don't get to decide when you get to jump out of the pit. You don't get to decide when the confinement as you feel it ends. That's what God's telling us. God delivers. Let me say a few things in closing. This does not mean for somebody who's been divorced and remarried that you're living in a state of perpetual adultery. I have heard that and I think it's madness. In all cases of divorce and remarriage, we have to remember to those who repent, confess that sin, who did christ come to identify with messes it was the tax collectors and sinners that he's dining with it was the woman at the well who had been had five husbands that jesus goes after remember five husbands and i say in closing the gospel's about new beginnings for sinners this tells us that christ comes to identify with sinners and that when he cleanses somebody we should not call them unclean it's about a new freedom now to walk in the path of righteousness and yes divorce happens it's wrong it needs to be confessed sometimes the mess is so great sin is so messy and i remember hearing a pastor who taught that a couple was married they had a bad divorce They ended up remarrying. They had kids in the second remarriage. And the pastor gave the counsel, you need to leave your second marriage, leave the children high and dry, however it goes, it's going to be high and dry, and go back to your first one because you're in a state of perpetual adultery. And I thought, you're crazy. That is not what God is saying. It means that yes, these things will happen. They're terrible. They shouldn't happen. But the Lord does tell you tonight that if you confess your sins, He's faithful and just to forgive you your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. And I want to say this. It's quite possible that in our day, you're going to have a lot of people come into the church today who have been divorced some two, three, maybe four, five times. How should the church treat them? Again, I know those who kept him out and never let him in because of it. You look for repentance. You look for godly sorrow. And that's why Paul is going to say here, in the position now that you're in, that you've been redeemed and set apart, don't do it anymore. Stop and serve Christ where you are. No more. In other words, go and sin no more. Remain with God, verse 24, in the state in which you've been called. The Lord's forgiven you. But just because we've been exposed to so much divorce as a way of life now, that doesn't mean we ever, ever, ever as the church lessen the biblical standard ever. We've got to hold that standard high. Why? It's the destruction of marriages as the single great reason you're seeing the fabric of your society unravel and fall apart. And if we ever get to in the church accepting that, we've lost our purpose and witness for it's in marriage that we as Christians are supposed to reflect Christ's love for his church. So may we all feel tonight together the wonderful and beautiful truth that God in our marriages has specifically joined us together with our spouses. And may you feel tonight the weight of God's statement, No man ever has the right to undo what he has joined together. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we are thankful for your care in instructing us. And we feel the weight of it tonight. We see how strong you care and how much you care about this. We ask that we would share that same concern. But that in our zeal for your standard as we hold it high, That we also would advance the ministry of reconciliation. And that in our marriages, we would pursue, first and foremost, reconciliation with one another when we're in seasons of adversity. And yet, when we face other circumstances, and we face the brokenness of life and the brokenness of marriages, would we also put on display your compassionate reception of sinners? that you receive those and that you welcome those into your family, a family that we have traced from Genesis that included Ruth the Moabitess and Tamar and Bathsheba and people who did some pretty bad things. And we're all a part of that. We share in that. We are sinners just as much as anyone else. But thank you for instructing us in righteousness and thank you tonight for giving us your design. May we pursue it and pursue peace with all men and the liberty that we enjoy in our marriages. In Jesus' name, amen.