The Building Of The Family

If you're visiting this morning, we're working through the book of Genesis, and this morning we come to Genesis chapter 2, verses 18 through 25, which is on page 3 in your pew Bible. And I just want to say up front that I realize many here are looking, well, I don't know how many but some are looking for husbands and there are those who um who who don't have children and when you preach texts like this i i hope you understand that we're looking at the norm we're looking at the basic norm that the scripture has and there are situations uh that happen that sometimes you know we desire these things and the lord has not yet provided it and we're taught to wait upon him, be of good courage, wait upon the Lord to not become discouraged and to remember that he does care for us even in these afflictions. And so remember Hannah, who cried and wept before the Lord and he heard. And so I say that just this morning because I am going to be focusing on what was the original design. And this morning we come to verses 18 through 25 of what I've called the building of the family. And so let's give our attention this morning to the word of the Lord. Then the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make a helper fit for him. Now to the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens into every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a help or fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man. And while he slept, he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. May the Lord bless the hearing of his word. One of the greatest blessings that we have, that the Lord has given us, is the family. It has always been recognized that the family is absolutely necessary to the good of society. Every human institution today has its origin from the family. And when the family is healthy, it has a spillover into all of society. You'll find society operating in harmony and in unity because this foundation is in place. But when the family institution disintegrates, when it is attacked, and we cave into that attack, you only have a matter of time before everything else falls apart. That's the truth. That's the reality. When the family crumbles, so goes society. so go society and we will look at in genesis there are cycles of iniquity happening in a given society where things are running their course they're moving somewhere and the lord ends up judging that society that is why the christian stands back and he warns he warns against the implications and the consequences when people attack and tear down the family institution There are serious consequences to that. And the reality is ever since the fall, this is what we have lived. This is what we have experienced. This is what we have seen happen. And I believe that in our time and in our country and in the days in which we live, we are seeing the family under assault like never before. I want to begin this morning with a letter that I read. and i believe it it captures what genesis 2 is telling us this morning a letter that was written and this is i found in a book on recovering biblical manhood and a letter of a woman writing complaining about her marriage and i found this letter fascinating let me begin with this the kids are in bed there's nothing on tv tonight i ask my husband if he minds if i turn off the tube he grunts as i walk to the set my mind is racing maybe tonight we will talk i mean have a conversation that consists of more than my usual question or his mumbled one word answer or no answer at all i interject something he would never do at work if he is to climb the ladder of success silence i live in a world of continuous noise but between him and me silence please oh god let him open up i initiate again for the thousandth time my heart pounds how can i word it this time what can i say that will open the door to just talk i don't have to have a deep meaningful conversation just something as i open my mouth he gets up goes to the bedroom the door closes behind him the light showing under the door gives way to darkness and so goes my hope i sit alone on the couch my heart begins to ache i'm tired of being alone hey i'm married i've been for years why do i sit alone the sadness undergoes through a change slowly then through increased fervor i get mad i am mad. I am sick and tired of living with a sissy and a coward. You know he's afraid of me. Hostile, you say you better believe it. I'm sick and tired of living in a world of passive men. She goes on in the letter to say that dad never plays for the children, but of course he has time for golf and riding his four-wheeler and doing the gym and everything else. Even more moving, she says, is my daughter. She's beginning to like boys. I know it's coming. she needs a father yet he's not there and she ends a letter by saying the weird thing about all of this is his dad did the same number on him fascinating letter that i believe captures something in contrast to what genesis 2 is showing us this morning absolutely in contrast what we're looking at in genesis 2 and what we've been looking at is god's original design and it's a beautiful design what what it was intended to be and we should see it that way this is this is what god had created and he had said all of this was good now no one will everyone will agree this morning that things in our day are not going well for the family and i believe then that being the case uh in god's providence there is nothing more important to consider today than genesis the early chapters to look at this and then see and understand what the whole of scripture is showing us about what christ has come to recover that's what he had said i have come to seek and to save that which is lost and so i want to look at genesis chapter two this morning with these things in mind with the questions of how did marriage come about and why was was marriage so important and why was this important for everything else why did god do it this way and that's some of the those are some of the questions that that we come to as we read the text in genesis chapter 2 god had established this structure from the beginning to be a benefit to us to be a blessing to us something that we could enjoy something that was good something that was right but as we come to genesis 2 15 a very perceptive reader will stand back from this and say wait a minute god has said over and over and over and over this was very good this was very good everything that he made was good and for the first time we get something that's not good and that should jump off the page at us that should surprise us something is not good what is not good well god looks at this situation it's very strong in the original there is a deficiency here something that's lacking for the man and you say wait a minute what what's missing god tells us that it's not good that man should be alone there was no other creature comparable to him and so what we have in this section is god doing another creative work to supply and build what was lacking now i've often thought it's interesting that god revealed it this way god didn't have to reveal it this way but he revealed it this way and when he reveals it this way he's telling us something very important isn't he could have left us just with chapter 1 verse 27 of the last chapter that he created them male and female but he wanted us to understand something about this and what we find is that there was something that god had planned all along for adam why do i say that well last week we considered some of the responsibilities that were given to adam in the garden adam was to cultivate the garden adam was to keep the garden adam was to guard the garden remember that's what that word means adam was a mighty warrior and the garden of eden remember as we studied this mountain theme was where god had dwelled with adam god had come down god had had a dwelling place there the first holy place was there the most holy place and adam was placed in the the garden and given this glorious privilege to defend the sanctuary from anything that would offend. What else was Adam given to do? Remember what he said to the man and the woman at the beginning in verse 28? Then God blessed them. This is chapter one. And God said to them, be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and subdue it. Chapter two is focusing in on this on the creation now it's like a zoom in if you will on the creation of man and woman and what we find is god ordaining this structure god setting up this structure a marriage relationship to fulfill exactly what he had commanded the man in chapter one and so not only was he just to guard the garden from intruders like satan who comes in in the next chapter the fallen angelic realm some of the fallen angels who left their proper place but what we find is now adam was to fill the earth with his seed and you'll remember that this seed promise of christ's fulfilling this takes on a lot of meaning doesn't it in genesis as that was promised to abraham that the second adam would do what the first adam did not but i'm getting ahead of myself so essentially adam was through procreation to produce a whole of what Christ would do kingdom of priests to his God whole kingdom of priests and kings Adam had the grand responsibility to do this with this royal offspring exercising dominion a kind of conquest building the city of God now this wasn't just to be chaos this wasn't just to be man running around having sexual relations with anyone he felt like in fact it's important to say because i hear many people try to justify polygamy based on many of the things that happened in israel's history and from the beginning we go back and we say the words with jesus that was not so that was not so when you zoom in on chapter two do you realize what we have i love this scene you have man created as a pair and not just male and female but husband and wife that means this that from the beginning god did not intend for male and female to be over here and over here and over here and over here but they were to be one they were to be one they were to be married a beautiful kingdom building project at creation you had a holy place in the garden where god was and from there adam would construct adam would build from there to the ends of the earth all of these family units the church coming together to call on the name of the Lord and worship the Lord it's a beautiful beautiful design that the Lord had given and so as we come to Genesis chapter 2 what we find is the emphasis in the text that Adam didn't recognize this need Adam didn't understand this need and that's an important point God desired for him to understand this need and I I just interject that you know it was rc sproul who years ago said if you want to know the character of god if you want to understand the character of your god study the old testament and right from the beginning we see this we see what he's like notice how he is he is instructing adam notice how he is working to instruct him and give him an emmaus road kind of eye-opening event here and so this is this is exactly what happens Adam didn't recognize this and you know from our perspective in a fallen society it would be like us telling a a lazy bachelor you know get with the program and get married and recognize who's right in front of you wanted to say that to a lot of guys before notice what God does here notice what God does here he brings the animals to Adam and the animals are all passing by and you'll notice verse 9 out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to adam to see what he would call them and whatever adam called each living creature that was its name so adam gave names to all the cattle to the birds of the air and every beast of the field this was not easy this was not adam having a good time adam as these animals come adam was given the responsibility to study them to study their nature to study what they were to study the creative work of god and to name them appropriately and we can only imagine as the animals are coming by that he's looking and thinking whoa there's male and there's female something's different and so he names them appropriately and he's imaging god isn't he as he was called to do and all of a sudden it must have dawned on him i'm lacking something i'm lacking something there are two here every kind i'm alone and verse 2 picks up on that verse 20 but for adam there was not found a helper comparable to him nothing of his own uniqueness nothing like him and adam was aware of this god had caused adam to be aware of this this is so important uh to pause here for a minute and think about what happened after the fall the sad consequences after the fall you know when we look at the lord saying it's not good for man to be alone and then after the fall what does what does man pursue aloneness uh it's been one of the saddest things that i've witnessed in the ministry you know men men believe that the answer is is freedom and aloneness and and in the marriage relationship they they feel tied down and they feel their needs aren't being met and so the answer they think is is to be freed from the marriage relationship we've had a long history of this you know we're we're lone rangers as men and even in the marriage relationship we we do our own things don't we we stay distant i i witnessed this of of a man and his very young children he had very young children and he had a wife a loving wife and he bolted to the other part of the country and i watched him totally destroy his marriage and his children's lives because he wanted to be free it was an awful thing to see awful thing to see not so from the beginning in fact remember that the apostle paul said that the very characteristic of the last times in which we live is that men will refuse to marry that's where it's going so what does god do god causes this deep sleep to fall upon Adam. And anytime you have one of these, the next time being Genesis 15 with Abraham, this is going to be glorious. God causes this deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he opens Adam and he takes out one of his ribs. Yes, literally. I suppose we have to say that today a lot too and he created the woman and notice here the woman was created for the man she was taken from the man you have to say that today to say a lot of things today to emphasize a lot of things don't you because there is nothing more repudiated than that in our time god created something beautiful here the woman and the hebrew word is fascinating god built the woman he got and he built the woman with his hands and he created her to be a help meet to the man and so we're getting into her purpose here in other words she she was made for him she was taken from him to supply what was lacking it was this beautiful relationship of companionship she was created to fill the lack if you will and and you see in the sometimes helpful we'll do this tonight to contrast and to say what it was not when you see the devil come into the garden what's the first thing he says to the woman has god indeed said you shall not eat of every tree of the garden Eve responds well we can't touch we can eat all these but we can't touch this one in the middle of the garden unless we die you're not going to die God knows that the day that you eat of it your eyes will be open you're going to know good from evil Eve ponders this she sees the tree that it's good for food pleasant to the eyes desirable to make one wise in other words she starts pondering in her heart the devil's temptation and the issue of what the devil promised was this when you eat of that tree you'll become your own god don't miss that it's very important we're going to come back to this next week you'll become your own god and she eats with this in mind that this would make her wise she would have her eyes opened open to what satan's really tempting her here tempting her to do something we have to recognize that the satanic assault in the garden of eden was a satanic assault on her position and i hope to show you why here in a minute the heart of satan's attack what really lured eve was the idea that she could break away from the chains that god had placed her in to be a helper comparable to the man let me summarize Eve you don't have to be in this position you're under this God who's defined things for you you're under this God who's told you but you really are blind to what you could be sound familiar by the way you're blind you could be so much more you could be as God you can define it on your own terms has god really said don't don't eat of the tree of the oh he knows he knows you take that apple you'll be free you'll be set free you'll be liberated from the oppressive design and that is feminism that's what we've seen play out and the devil persuaded her to buy into the lie and you have to stop and you say we're running up against so much today we've been so i think it was mary cassian who said in a recent book that you're you know we're you don't have to ask whether you're a feminist you are feminist today we're all feminists it's in our thinking but when we go back to the beginning and you've got to say this god's design was not oppressive god's design was not a burden that's what they say it was but but notice the beauty of this that that that she compliments the man in the role it was a functional role that god assigned to her and that was freedom the devil said get outside of it but the marriage relationship and this is where i think we have to think a little bit about what the marriage relationship was designed to reflect why is so much time given to describe eve's fall in the bible even though adam is held responsible and it's an adam that this happened so much scripture is given to describe the woman leaving her place why does it do that well i believe it does that because the new testament characterizes the roles of men and women as the man is head over the woman and the woman is called to submit to the man. Why? Because Christ is head. And we submit to Christ. And why does it matter? Well, looking at it from a Christian perspective, now from a redeemed perspective, our marriages are telling something, aren't they? They're telling the greater story of Christ being the head, of the bride He loves and how we respond to that in cheerful submission. It's not a burden. well in the garden state take a step back to a different kind of covenant relationship something similar was being modeled the marriage relationship told the greater story of god entering into a covenant with man man was to submit to the lord and that covenant that's why they call it a covenant of works there was allowed no room for disobedience none and failure to do that would bring what curse and and the fall and death and notice here the woman has been created for the man to submit to the man and adam would take it upon himself to care for her to love her now i'll close in a minute with what all this reflects but really we have the first wedding ceremony here don't we this is glorious angels in attendance cherubim watching the first wedding ceremony we read that god brings the woman to the man i love to look at grooms at a wedding by the way i do this thing now when the bride walks in they're all goofy at the rehearsal and then when the bride walks in And I look at his face. You should see it. He's, you know, he's just glued. And I say to the people, I say, can you imagine what the first wedding was like when God brought Eve to the man? And he's just excited. Do you feel a little bit of that right now? And they, oh yeah, oh yeah, I feel a lot of that right now. Notice what we have here. This is beautiful that the Lord here brings the woman to the man and we have Adam overwhelmed with excitement. See Adam's response? He lays his eyes on the woman whom God built for him. This is bone of my bone. This is now the one. This is it. I see it, Lord. She's bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. And he says, She shall be called, notice he names her, woman because she's taken out of the man. I don't know how to characterize that. I know it's about as exciting as it could be. I won't act crazy up here. They were one. We can't get a sense of the excitement, but Adam loved his wife. Adam had his eyes fixed on his wife. God had made her for him. I love to observe that the original design here when the bride was presented is that she was radiant and beautiful and the man loved her. You ever notice why do we love weddings so much? Because we look at weddings and we think, it starts that way. We wish it stayed that way. We know that it gets hard. But imagine it in the Garden of Eden. Sin didn't corrupt it. you know, before the fall. And so the Lord ordains this. Therefore, verse 24, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. They leave the home. The design is they leave the home. They leave the home. You can thank me parents later. And they become one. They leave the home and become one. Cleave to his wife. This was so important to Jesus when the Pharisees tried to test him about divorce. Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason? Jesus says, well, that wasn't so from the beginning. Due to the hardness of your hearts, Moses started having to give certificates of divorce. But God had originally designed it that he built the woman for the man. This is why the Proverbs say, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. He built the woman for the man. And God, what God joins together, let no man separate. And we don't think like that today when we enter marriage, but that's how God defined it. We don't have the prerogative to break it up. And that doesn't mean there's not reasons as Jesus gave. That doesn't mean there's not forgiveness. I'm not going into any of that. What I'm saying is this is the design. God does the uniting. And every marriage between a man and a woman is something God did. So when a man and a woman stand up in front of a church and say, I do, I promise through thick and thin all the statements we make in good and in bad, I promise they are promising God that union for life. What a wonderful design. Verse 25, they were both naked and they knew no shame. You know what that means, right? There was harmony in the relationship. There was love. There was respect. Their nakedness was an image of open trust, if you will. A love, mutual love. There was no need to protect vulnerability with temptation by using clothing. No lust, no shame, no sin, complete intimacy. And after the fall, what's the very first thing Adam realizes? then their eyes were opened and they knew they were naked you ever thought about why you're wearing clothes right now you ever just stood back so why why are we all wearing clothes you know why are we not all naked in the pew don't think about that but i'm i'm just it's a declaration that we're fallen you realize that wearing clothes is a declaration that we're fallen that our marriage relationships lack intimacy and trust. And you see how offensive it is. It should be when women take it all off. It causes major problems. And you see, when the clothes went on, it demonstrates to us a greater problem. It demonstrates to us a greater problem today. You're all wearing clothes because it's telling you your relationship with God is estranged and you need His coverings. James Boyce wrote a lot on this issue and he spoke of a four-pronged attack on marriage today. And I believe he hits the nail on the head. He says, first, marriage is under attack by the rampant hedonism of our day. People live to do whatever feels good. And in the pursuit of pleasure, that's the maximization of pleasure what does that do to the marriage there's nothing self-sacrificial about marriage today it's not built on love and trust it's a self-centered model today that only is built on the lust and ends up with the cry this person's not making me happy i'm done and you think that is the farthest thing from what Jesus modeled, isn't it? Second is the widespread acceptance of adultery. You know, it's a hard day. It's a hard day, especially for young marriages starting out. I think it's estimated that 266 new pornography sites are added each day. 750,000 children have been pursued by predators. 100,000 websites offer illegal child pornography. And you say, I don't want to hear about that. Well, the time we live. And now we live in a day where everything's being legalized with same-sex marriages, implementing fairness doctrines you can't even warn against this now. Third voice says is the ease of divorce itself. Many of you know a generation ago, it was a disgrace to do this. Maybe the homes weren't happy, but they stuck it out. Today they don't. Finally, he says, is the legalization of abortion on demand. A woman today without the father's involvement can have a child terminated. And the state has given the power to the mother to kill the newest-born member of the family. And as the statistics go, every two babies are aborted. Every minute, two babies are aborted in the U.S. And the time that you've been sitting here, 120 have been wiped out. Now, I'm not the kind that likes to bury my head in the sand. I like to think about what the Lord has said is the answer to this tragedy. What did Christ come to do? You know, he's called the second Adam for a reason. Romans 5 makes this parallel. And guess what? The fall separated us from him. And we couldn't come back to him. And have a relationship of love and trust. So what did God do? You're going to look at next week and the week after. He clothed Adam. Don't you do it with your fig leaves. I'll clothe you. He shed blood. And this Adam showed his bride love. He taught us love. A new commandment I give you. Not that it was never there, but we didn't understand love until we look at Christ. A new commandment I give you that you love one another as I have loved you. I love my bride and I'm teaching you how to love your brides. That's why it's called a new creation. And we respond in humble submission to Christ because of this overwhelming, gracious love that we've received not in a covenant of works but in a covenant of grace, pure grace. And this message to you is I have the power to rebuild what has been lost, to restore. You want to get this message out to this sad world that's pursuing death and falling down all around us and saying, you're not listening to what God is saying. I came to give life. I came to give life to a bunch of family units who are my church, who come together, called out from the world, assembled to be my bride. and they're going to be without spot and radiant they're going to be pure virgins love that this is why husbands are called to love their wives wives to submit to their husbands that's not some oppressive archaic old design is our culture wants to tell us today the old patriarchal stuff that's not what it is do you understand why here's the reason why god began this world with a marriage and he's ending this world with a marriage he's ending this world with a marriage between a man and a woman we all messed up we fail people haven't listened people don't take it seriously but god is still announcing something and i love him for that he's ending history with a marriage christ's marriage and his bride that he loves and this feast is going to be glorious. And there she is, beautiful, radiant, pure, no spot, no wrinkle, presented to the Father. Coming to do what the first Adam didn't. And that leads us just to close with this. That's why your marriage is so important. That's why we give ourselves to love sacrificially. I know we fail and we go to the Lord for grace. but this is what he's called you to. Because your marriage is supposed to tell a story to this sad world out here that's falling apart. What story? Your marriage is an object lesson to those around you of the Christian gospel. You want object lessons, you've got one. God wants everyone to look at our marriages and see what it looks like to live in the grace of Christ because that's going to be the greatest witness to this world right now. I had a dear friend come. I've told you about him, and he said to me, I said, he's been struggling in his marriage, and I said, well, why did you come to the Escondido URC for help? And he goes, because of this Christian school right here. I know there's something going on here. And I was blown away by that. We train up our children, and we exemplify the gospel in the way that husbands love. And that's why we're called to love as Christ loved the church. And when a woman submits and not fight against that with belligerence, she exemplifies the church in the willful submission to Christ. And Satan says, I'm going to tear that down. I'm going to attack that. I'm going to make a mockery of that. But our marriages are supposed to tell the story of the cross. And so I asked the question this morning, what does yours tell? You can't make the excuse, I just can't do it. You know, my husband's a bum and da-da-da. Love him. That was what 1 Peter 3 said. and you can't say my wife's just tough and hard lover lover everyone wonders why we're making a little headway today and witnessing for christ i think we need to start here the greatest witness we have today are a bunch of families united together by faith showing the world the wonderful privilege of what it means to be a part of the family of god as we come together on sundays and do what happens early in Genesis and men began to call on the name of the Lord and he heard. Well, that's enough. Let's praise the Lord today for his grace and kindness. Oh Lord, our God, we're so grateful for what you ordained and what you did. And we confess we've thrown it down the tubes, down the toilet. And we've tried to do everything under the sun against your pattern and design. And we ask for forgiveness. And we ask that you would restore us and help us as husbands to love and nurture and care for our families. And that you would help the wives here to be godly women. And that our children would be, as the Psalms say, olive plants planted around our table who love you. and that we in our homes would call on the name of the Lord, longing to be in your house every Sunday to praise your great name. Forgive us for all of our sins. Strengthen us in your peace. And now may we go out and love the way we have been loved and been taught to love. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.